This Poem was Submitted By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-07-22 01:44:01 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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       To view rainbows for The first time colored, not in        Strands of blacks and whites

Copyright © July 2005 Latorial D. Faison

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-08-01 21:45:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Latorial–-Your “revelation” is clever while requesting an idealist racially harmonious America. “To view rainbows for The first time colored,...” the universal “melting pot” revisited (so to speak). The inference is for inclusion of all citizens in the spectrum (no matter their race). This Japanese Verse (as E. would say) is more Senryu (human nature theme) than Haiku (nature theme); “...not in Strands of blacks and whites” Yes, these narrow constraints has been detrimental in “several cases!” Superb title, true to form, excellent subject and wonderful theory. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-07-26 14:55:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Excellent piece Latorial, and I as the reader can see the racial content immediately in this poem. Knowing you, and your writing I see someone who wants a different perspective on the world. All beings - together to form a society that creates a good picture for everyone to enjoy. Much to our dismay, things were set up long before you or I were ever considered and it's a heartbreaking truth that we hate to entertain. At best we can be sure that God wasn't the one responsible for this, that man, and the ignorance of man, set the rules, brainwashed others - and the ideas have been brought forth into this day and age. You are a wonderful person, and a truly talented writer - thanks for posting and sharing this. I too, would like to see your rainbow. Sincerely, DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-07-24 01:35:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95455
Hi Latorial, This visibly tiny piece is inflated with depth. While Haikus have traditionally dealt with themes based on nature, you've transcended the norm by involving society and have given your readers a 'wake up' window to the world they live in. Epiphany has been defined as "A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization". In the words of Frank Maier, "I experienced an epiphany, a spiritual flash that would change the way I viewed myself”. Your poem reveals a world has long lived under the umbrella of an illusion. The reality of the divisions in our societies or the inconsistencies with which sections of society are treated, seem to be camouflaged within the illuminated color of 'ALL IS WELL'. However, under the painted picture of supposed colored rainbows, social harmony is divided between black and white. Of course, this is a perspective of your impression of life in the U.S.A but is universally applicable the world over, where the causes of minorities are shrugged under the carpet. As an expression of your growing frustration, you desire to see a 'real' rainbow for a change not an illusive one that under the surface is colored in 'strands of black and white'. I loved the way you tackled this theme. Rainbows signify a promise and by using rainbows to effect your theme, we realize that the promise (in this case, equal rights or greater justice to the minorities in america) have failed or have been delivered in a half-hearted manner. This was beautifuly written!! Take care, Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-07-22 18:17:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70175
Hello Poet......well done presentation of this Haiku in true form of 5-7-5........great image in black and white then transformed into brilliant color........thank you for posting and sharing once more with us your God given talent. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joyce P. Hale On Date: 2005-07-22 15:41:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.59459
A lovely haiku, Latorial! I have to say that maybe I don't quite understand it, like.... is a rainbow a rainbow if it is strands of blacks and whites?? Forgive me if I am dense, sometimes I am when I first read something, and later on it will hit me. (:D The cadence is flowing, good 5-7-5 line form. Peace.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-07-22 13:28:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.53191
Latorial, Absolutely perfect, 5,7,5 and see you've taken to naming your haikus also....and why not, aren't we the ones who make, break and bend the rules...*smile*. I really like this, one having viewed all in black and white, closed off to all the options and then suddenly being able to view all in color, limitless potential. Thank you for this profound statement. As Always, Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2005-07-22 10:07:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Latorial, you have enticed a minimalist with this brief work. The title is appealing, structure and pace perfect, and all in all a classic the masters would be proud of. Multiple levels can be discerned, both first and second person observational views can be attached and the message of the subjugation of prejudicial viewing of color is well presented. A multiplicity of wisdoms, viewed through the prism of "first time colored" is splendid. Looking thru "strands of black and whites" the facade masking the true reality of creation, and viewing all the spectacular colors of existence given us. Enjoyed the entire 17 word entree...Great job, Peace, Paul
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-07-22 08:44:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Lovely! Visual and alive in tone, presentation and especailly in message. This has the word and line count of a haiku and the personal narrative quality and title advantage of a senyru. Excellent
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