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This Poem was Submitted By: Medard Louis Lefevre Jr. On Date: 2005-08-21 08:33:33 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Play For Me

Play for me Your song so gently Let the notes caress my heart Into feeling more than nothing Take my life into Your score Play for me Your song this moment Let the music stay forever In this perdition I call my soul Where wander emotions I cannot feel Play for me Your song so softly Let the melody comfort my head Where ravaged thoughts now must heal I may be too fragile to hear too much Play for me Your song so clearly Let the sound replace my screams The beast will leave when Your carol Enters the lair that once was me Play for me Your song so beautiful Let its grace restore my faith These are Your verses, this is Your love Play Your song eternally for me

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-09-07 00:30:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96226
Medard, I am touched by the honesty and the sincerity of this poem. It could be a poem written to a lover, friend or perhaps even a savior. As a poet, you illustrate the need for a SONG that would be the answer to many of life's problems. The poem speaks as one who is filled to the brim with misery, insanioy and perhaps uncertainty. Each stanza is a plea for this special person to play the song, to live in the soul of the one who speaks, to create and play a melody that shrinks all of the bad things in life. I think it's wonderful that music is equated to peace, salvation and change in the poem. Music can often do that, and when we think of the music that rings in the lives of people's abilities, this poem reaches a higher level. PLAY FOR ME is a great title, and you spend every stanza capitalizing on it with well played out verses that make this poem come alive. You make readers feel what you are writing, and in the end, I can only hope that someone will or has obliged the speaker. Sometimes, it only takes a little music to revive us, and this is the thought your wonderful poem leaves me with. Great job. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-08-26 15:51:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Medard, I enjoyed the lyrical undertones of this piece, the flow makes this a rich song of asking for deliverance. Have you set a tune to this or are you contemplating it? There is no doubt that God loves music...his angels are full of it...and in asking for some of His eternal music you have given Him music in return. The theme, while positive in its delivery (probably out of confidence in a protective and forgiving God) does carry dark shades of unrest within the heart of the poet (that seems to be smeared with the anguish of sin). This will ring a bell in most of us (if not all ) as sin is universal. The pinch of sin is great and you use this poem as a platform to ask for your estrangement from it - Example: 'In this perdition I call my soul, Where wander emotions I cannot feel'. Almost every line rings with this appeal for deliverance and yet there is this confidence in the tone that delivery will come. The repetition of 'play your song...' emphasises desire to hear His music and to taste the food of love again. I also sense that the poet might have had a sour encounter with God...a parting of ways so to speak and is seeking to mend bridges again - Example: 'Let its grace restore my faith'. The passion in this is strong!! Keep writing!! Take care, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2005-08-24 05:45:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This poem made me wish I had some musical knowledge. It is so very much like a hymn. I hope you're not offended by that comparison for it took me back to my childhood when I just loved the music and the words for their sounds.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-08-23 22:20:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Medard, The emotion is tangible here. We have lots of tangible emotions here, they are between the grapes (sour) and and lemons (just lemons). You are a lyricist, no? Welcome back. I hope you are still travelling the Lord's road, cloak or no cloak. Mark

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-08-22 15:23:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Medard, You have written such a lovely and melancholy piece here and one that I can't stop reading. I can feel the pathos in the words and am assuming you are speaking to God as you capitalize "Your" throughout....or perhaps you are speaking to a loved one. It is very lyrical and could easily be put to music. You begin each stanza with 'play for me your song so...gently...this moment..so softly...so clearly...so beautiful' the repetition of these lines with a different twist for each line is very effective here and I believe that is what makes it read so smoothly....'let the notes caress my heart'...is absolutely beatiful as well as whimsical....let the music stay forever in this perdition I call my soul, where wander emotions I cannot feel...I feel the sadness of these words with a touch of regret....let the melody comfort my head where ravaged thoughts now must heal...I feel depression of the spirit here...I may be too fragile to hear too much...let the sound replace my screams the beast will leave when Your carol enters the lair that once was me..these lines makes me feel the poet is just overcoming an illness of great significance that could either be mentl or physical or some other monumental event that has ravished his life. the last two lines are just lovely...these are Your verses, this is Your love, play Your song eternally for me. Very well written with just enough mystery to make this a compelling read...bravo! Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-08-22 13:31:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
This certainly is a hymnal. You are asking for forgiveness which I'm sure is already granted. The title fits the easy to read poem. There should be music set to this. Thanks for posting.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-08-22 10:31:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Medard--It is good to see this post from you.Superb lyrical appeal directed toward scribes object of adoration/affection/enamorment. This single (comma) puncuated five stanza quatrain is sequenced artfully through a simple set of subsequent pleas to an intricate/ultimate request. Great flowing arrangement, however,IMO,the same part of speech (adverb) at the end of each refrain (namely, stanzas #2 and #5) will enhance the flow even more (or maybe not); "Play for me Your song so *timely*" "Play for me Your song so *beautifully*" I hope my suggestion (only) is helpful, not a distraction to this excellent poem. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-08-21 23:58:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82857
Poet......this is a beautiful song to the Lord and He certainly will respond in kind to it. The one thing the Lord so enjoys is when we sing to him and this is just what this poem reminds me of, a song of love, a song of reaching out to the One who is the Greatest Love There Is. good structure, word flow, images and emotions created from start to finish. I pray you are well and that the Lord indeed has heard your heart's song......God Bless, Claire I shall never forget what it is like to be held in the arms of the Lord as I laid dying close to five years ago. There was no fear, just joy in the Light of my God. I read this more then once and though there are times when you seek the Lord's assistance to rid your life of the darkness to me it is still a love song of sorts, a leap of faith, knowing He is and will always be there waiting to take your hand.....

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-08-21 18:26:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Medard, I've not much to say except I feel your pain. Life is never as we exect it and the disappointment in people and their actions is heart breaking. We all have this angry beast inside and music is such a sooothing salve. Wiithout it, I could not live. Music is lokve, joy, hope foor better days. I much enjoy your thought/words/hope. Lets sing forever... Dellena

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