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This Poem was Submitted By: Christina Morrow On Date: 2005-08-31 16:56:37 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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let me hold you

Come here and let me hold you, and carry what you can’t hold. Wipe your tears away, And hear the story, your face has told. Let me lay with you- knowing I am there, Gentle touches - run my fingers through your hair. What tomorrow brings, I surely cannot say. But I have you… here, right now -today. Let me squeeze you, hoping I can peel away the pain. For surely if I could, I’d ease you - again, and again. I’ll say I’m sorry, because it’s what you need to hear. I’ll rub your back and love you - because I want to be near. If I knew a way to fix things, I would You know I would heal you, if I only could. So, let me wipe your tears away, And hear the story your face has told. Come here, let me hold you, And carry what you can’t hold.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-09-05 13:23:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.58974
Christina, How great you are to say this... So many people could use your hand upheld. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. I feel I could helps too, but then I get so bogged down, I can hardly help myself. I think this poem is almost saintly. I think you must have written this for a loved one, wouldn't it be grand if this desire to give help extending to everyone? good job.... Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-09-05 12:32:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95122
Christina, This is a deep, real and inviting poem. Your humanity and love for this person shines through in every line. I like that you invite them to let you in. Often times, that's all that's needed, a simple invitation, but then you go beyond that. You are pleading for this person to allow your help, to let you hold them and carry the burdens. Your words show that you deeply care, and that you are deeply concerned for his/her well being. This poem could be for a lover, family member or a friend I suppose. It's a strong statement of friendship and love, very strong. Great job. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-09-04 19:25:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Christina: This poem appeals to me for many reasons, primarily for its emotional plea. Who would not want to be held in this way, with complete compassion which does not demand anything in return? I can imagine these as words to a child, a friend, a lover or many others with whom we come into close contact. Maybe these are words thought to a stranger in need of our care, a spiritual companion along the way. Are these words from one human to another, or from a spiritual being who sees us in our complete need? It doesn’t matter to me, as reader, because I can sense the universal application. Love being the one thing that we need more than any other life-sustaining substance or experience. Your spacing makes the poem feel very intimate, as if the speaker offers arms or shoulders in quite a literal way. The soft opening, with a lower case letter on “let” seems very non-threatening. An invitation offered with no requirements of the listener but acceptance. You repeat “let me hold you” as if knowing the listener is about to fold. I especially enjoy the lines “hear the story your face has told.” I was caught for a moment in the old “lie” or “lay” dilemma, forgetting which is proper grammar. The poem as a whole asks me to put down such concerns. But for a moment I wished for ‘rest’ as a word I wouldn’t have to mentally turn this way and that. The poem makes me recall many times of running my own fingers through my child’s hair, as it is the most soothing of gestures, to give or receive. Our hair represents our identity in some ways. It can be strength or its loss. It is very sensual to have one’s hair stroked. “What tomorrow brings, I surely cannot say.” The speaker brings the listener into the present moment, which in my estimation, is all we really ever have. We are asked, with the listener, to let go of all future concerns. “I’ll say I’m sorry, because it’s what you need to hear.” Does the speaker apologize in behalf of others, him or herself or simply to acknowledge that life is often hard? “I’ll rub your back and love you - because I want to be near.” These lines sound more like a romantic appeal than any other. Who doesn’t love a backrub? And the speaker seems willing to offer anything that will be of comfort and reassurance. I still can’t shake the feeling that these lines are addressed to potential others who are not only romantic partners, but others, as well for whom the speaker feels great sympathy. Very enjoyable read and tenderly done. Best to you, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-09-04 12:20:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Christina, I could take this piece, and place a mantra before me, so that each time I view my children, they are engulfed with such. I know, I have often told them, and thought this, step by step along the way. I am not sure whether your point was for us to let God carry the burdens we find so heavy, or if it was to a love, or your children, I only know there is a poignancy that makes it universal. Maybe with assistance, there would be fewer tears to wipe away, and less healing needed. Thanks for sharing.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-09-04 00:06:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.89130
Christina–Emotional and very, very timely for me due to my wife undergoing chemo after her reconstruction surgeries: your entire post is exactly what I want to tell her as she recovers (esp.these lines); “Come here and let me hold you, and carry what you can’t hold. Wipe your tears away, And hear the story, your face has told. What tomorrow brings, I surely cannot say. But I have you… here, right now -today. Let me squeeze you, hoping I can peel away the pain. For surely if I could, I’d ease you - again, and again.” IMO, this piece could serve well as a poem of address offering for any loved ones suffering from some malady. The thought of one partner wanting to allay the pain of the other goes beyond fidelity: the genuine plea/pledge of “let me hold you” possess attributes similar to that of a anthem (one of love). This ex- pressive poem deserves a wider readership. Thanks for sharing it with TPLers and giving this reader a special message to relay to his wife. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2005-09-01 18:24:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Christina: The title attracted me and the unusual free-verse style. It contains some rhymes and alliteration, many repetitive phrases. I like repetition myself. First stanza Come here and let me hold you, and carry what you cannot hold. Wipe your tears away, And tell the story, your face has told. the above is merely a suggestion on to start out. The purpose of the critique is to try and offer options to poets, possibly improve their work. This is the cry and out-reach of a woman in love with a male currently hurting and needing succor himself. I really like this couplet: "If I knew a way to fix things, I would "You know I would heal you, if I only could." This poem tells a long story in a few words ans that's a plus. It is also evocative, plays in the emotions of the couple and segues into the readers's feeling. Not even veteran poets are always successful with that manipulation. Congrats on a good, very good write. My best wishes to you. Mell Morris

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-09-01 16:31:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.36364
I really don't know what this is about except it is a tender story, and repeating the "wipe away your tears" is good because that signifies the tears going on and on. I can only guess that this is about the loss of a loved one. I would really like to see you change the title for it is given in the body of the poem. The poem is soft, and genuine. I wouldn't change a thing (except the title).

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-09-01 13:34:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93182
Hi Christina, I just have to comment on this poem because I have been in the place that you poetically describe here. My husand was ill for a very long time before he passed away so I know how it feels to watch a loved one slip away and be unable to do anything to stop it....except just to let them know how much you still love them and that you will always be there no matter what or how long....'the story your face has told' is such a poignant statement. Fighting an illness is always reflected in the face and is unmistakable if you have ever seen it. After my husband passed away I took care of my mother for another six years before she died so the look you speak of her made an indelible imprint in my mind....'come here, let me hold you, and carry what you can't hold' is very effective when repeated as the last line. Such a sad poem but beautifully written. Blessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-09-01 04:55:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76271
Let Me Hold You, a title that certainly stands out and calls the reader in.........I also like the way you formatted this, the easy flow of the words almost soothing to the soul. How deep a love this person must have for the one receiving these words, so much emotion is packed within the lines........It is good that you also repeated and enforced the same wording in the opening and closing stanza. This poem is good for anyone in pain, anyone suffering from a loss, anyone just finding out about a horrible illness.......all of the above need what has and is being offered within the lines. I pray you are well and not the one in need of so much weight lifting poet. Thank you for posting, for sharing these feelings with us. I am certain you will touch many with this one. God Bless, Claire, a winner for certain on my list.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-08-31 17:10:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Dear Christina, This is a compassionate, inspiring poem, as the writer feels empathy towards someone who is in pain. It's an upliting idea, for someone, to want to help another, and carry some of their pain, whether it be physical or emotional. It also takes a lot of courage to do this, and to be selfless when another is in need. I like the structure of this poem, the short verses, and the rhyming scheme make it a easy piece to read. There is no hidden message in your words, it is straight forward, simply stated, with something that all of us can relate to. Good job. Sincerely, DeniMari

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