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This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-09-10 15:23:49 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Clearing Skies

The water blue colored sky is the backdrop, holding cloud puffs in a watercolor picture painted for today. Flirtatiously the sun peeks outward from behind the feather lightness of accumulated clouds. Emanating from its exalted spatial being-ness golden radiates momentarily upon creation spreading warmth, deliverance from the chill of winter's cold. The great beyond appears free and limitless. Drifting on and past my stage of atmosphere the clouds creep by. The picture has continuously changed, dark, light, and bright. Spot light off, spot light on. The deep dark gray clouds move on.......... off into the far and away.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2005-10-06 19:58:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
The water blue [colored-you don't need this] sky is the backdrop, [another word?] cloud puffs in [] watercolor [] painted for today. Flirtatiously, the sun peeks out[] from [we know it's behind] the feather [use one or the other here, not both] lightness of accumulated clouds. Emanating from [its exalted spatial being-ness ] [what?] gold[] radiates momentarily upon creation spreading warmth, deliverance from the chill of winter's cold. The great beyond appears free and limitless. Drifting on and past my stage of atmosphere the clouds creep by. The picture has continuously changed, dark, light, and bright. Spot light off, spot light on. The deep dark gray clouds move on.......... off into the far and away. Some tightening is needed beneath this belt.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Troy D Skroch On Date: 2005-09-29 22:18:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena, This poem just appeared on my list. I think it's great. Look at this--------) "water blue colored" I like how you combine those three words and then support them later on with "water color." The first tricks the mind, if it's not careful, into seeing the word "watercolor." And then you use the word "watercolor," leaving me to wonder as the clever redundency. I enjoy the "flirting" sun and "feather lightness" and "accumulated clouds." Nice. It's how you say it. Like, "exalted spatial being-ness". Bravo! That's pretty cool! I want to be that when I grow up! I also dug "past my stage of atmosphere". That sure beats "above me looking up." Very nice. Like I say, it's how you say it sometimes. Somebody once said, I had a way with words, I pass the compliment back to you. I sill love that line you penned, "I kneel at the foot of my life." Now that's a way with words! Lastly I like "off into the far and away." It is just what happens to clouds and is a fitting ending. Oh, your form works well. I like the short lines on the end of the stanzas. Visually, they look like clouds drifting away. Sometimes people don't take advantage of making their poem visually appealing, based on their subject matter. I almost always do and encourage it. Poetry is as much as a visual form of art as it is a written form of art in many cases. Great job. T

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-09-25 18:21:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena, I wondered if this was a reference to the hurricane leaving, but also I felt a great scheme within this verse, greater than me, a generalist view of the beauties held in this world. With “Cloud puffs” and “watercolor pictures for today” we have a specific view of the vastness of creation, beyond the sky. The sky to us, is so vast, we can only inhale it. You always seem to send in just the right amount of sensuality to your verses- “flirtatiously”, “peeks”, “emanating”, “radiates”, it all adds to a fertile piece of the “on creation” sensitivity in this verse. I think I like the “deliverance” as much as I do the “winter’s cold” maybe an inverse to some with “spreading warmth” but I feel throughout, the attentive will find the “deliverance”. You make the “ether” seem almost a deity, one of chastisement, and one of “free and limitless” forgiveness. Finally in the alter ego of exchanges, the “dark gray clouds” appear again and move on, “far and away”, as redemption presents a moment to those attentive enough to understand. Dellena, I like the style of this verse, it was worthy of the many rereads.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-09-14 19:01:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94118
Dellena--What you depict here appears to be a puzzeling kaleidoscopic sky, ranging from storm clouds, bits of sunlight and spaces of "Clearing Skies." And, maybe not unlike some odd weather fronts we get here in Arizona. In the space of a few hours or less it can suddenly grow dark and calm; then blow 45 to 60 mph winds; hale the size of marbles and just as suddenly, it can clear-up/sun shining like nothing ever happened. I posted a poem referece my observation of this fascinating phenomena ("Nature's Monologue") some time back. I like the layout of this free verse and its stanzas (interesting and eye catching. Keep looking up and puting your feelings on paper. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Gerard A Geiger On Date: 2005-09-12 14:13:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Dellena; I think I get it...The stanza's are arranged to mimick clouds breaking out of a more closely packed cumulus... mirroring the content of the poem which is relating how clouds break up and expose previously hiden sunlight....and the infinite spaces beyond. Very good. A New and unique take on the sky Without using bows and flows of angel's hair!! Thanks for this new and perceptive work. Your friend, Gerard

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-09-10 22:01:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena, This is well structured, yeh I know we all say that but it is and it flows easily. I think the visiual presentation adds greatly to the overall reading. Now down to the context, darn girl you took me back to a place in time where I'm standing there watching the sky as it parades it's changes and I can smell the crispness in the air. One can luxuriate in that atmosphere but it does bring mixed emotions, a little exillerating, a little sadness and a little restlessness......and I long for those days just for a moment. Thank you for such a visual journey back into a memory. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-09-10 16:37:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh Dellena, This poem is exceptional, I've just read it a few times and have enjoyed it more and more. Great imagery creating the picture of the clouds in the sky, love the "flirtatious sun", and the spot light, on and off. This appeals to ones senses, of appreciation to nature and the elements in the world. Very universal... DeniMari

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-09-10 16:21:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Have I told you I hate this type? It's too hard to read! Anyway, it's light and airey for a change...which is good...the poem that is. Taken from the artist's pallette you wove a nice tale and a promising one of clouds moving on and not clouding your thoughts. I'm glad the skies are clearing. It appears you are getting a sense of inner peace.

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