This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-01-08 21:23:21 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Rain

                    The rain                       cleansing the soul                         initiating new life                     A transparent glaze                       making its way                         down the body                     The harder it comes                       the more rapid                         the cleansing                     The softer the touch                       the more                         the desire                     To huddle away                       avoiding the washing                         only addresses the fear                     To approach with                       open arms                         is to be anointed                           By its' beauty                     To respect                       is to understand                     To avoid                       is to lack nourishment                          'From the Rain'

Copyright © January 2006 Thomas H. Smihula


This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2006-02-04 14:40:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Thomas Visually here you carry the image of rain ... perhaps even a waterfall ... very effectively. The thoughts of cleansing are mirrored in the visual too, as it is "clean" to look at. Only nit is punctuation: you have "its'", which does not need the apostrophe. Other than that, a lovely read. Mark


This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-02-04 11:13:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.10526
Are you saying I should walk in the rain more often? Here on the west coast which we refer to as the wet coast it has rained 32/39 days. Way too much for me. I'm growing webbed feet.Hmm. Guess I will need more nourishment. There is no way to avoid the rain except stay inside. And that's where I write this. The one thing I can suggest is to find a new more invigorating title.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Brandon Gene Petit On Date: 2006-01-22 09:22:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
I always enjoy a good tribute to something valuable to me like the rain. There will never be enough good poems addressing such a timeless natural wonder and fascination to mankind. Your wording is creative yet your meanings are clear....an often difficult task worthily accomplished here. I particularly like the stanza stating that those who avoid the rain are only afraid of repentance and renewal. Your message well said and well recieved. I also like the brevity of of the stanzas; this makes the poem sound powerful and somewhat "catchy" without initiating a rhyme. Justice well done to an inexhaustible subject. Nice work. - B.G. Petit
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-01-11 14:47:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thomas, Without water we will also die! Water is life. It is the spirit of life. You write of a baptism to life. A cleansing that lets you begin anew living true. We need a spiritual cleansing most every day. We probable need a hard downpour. I like the ease of read, the spacing. I think a better title could be found. Other than simply 'Rain'. Something more drawing......Cloudburst! Other than that I'm happy. I believe you understand 'the rain'. Could you tell more its cleansing effect? Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-01-10 08:45:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This is a most wonderful euphemism you make, Thomas, of the entirety of how one might approach life. And, of the gratitude those living can have of the sensual once they've decided on a courageous and open reception of what it has to offer. Almost a Biblical thing. Your last stanza reaffirms this, admonishing, "To avoid is to lack nourishment", suggesting the spiritual element and how it just might formulate far more than we might imagine. By this end (and this is the only suggestion I might make,) your success doesn't need the "dropped" line, "From the Rain"....as if you were trying to de-expand what you have so temporally expanded. The title suffices. "A transparent glaze" is imagery at its best and is so fulfilling the poem does not suffer any lacking by having so little imagery elsewhere. In fact, the adage of a little being a lot, is achieved by it. Your very structuring seems to impart a cascading effect to the reader, further enhancing his/her experience. Delightful. JCH
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