This Poem was Submitted By: Fowler Trask On Date: 2006-07-18 23:52:55 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

Thirty-Six Across

Ten strong men constructed a cube and said, "We live here now." It was hollow but they filled it with weapons and toaster ovens. They were quite strong, you see. Their mothers visited to tour the premises and gesture with their hands, all so proud. Against the odds, a mutagen emerged. First one man then two then nine vomiting into buckets guzzling the fruit punch sweating out their memories filling up the blackboard. The lone survivor locked the door from the inside. He ignored the phone calls from the head of state. The raindrops still made noise and so did the computer and the rocket bombs but this was silence. His home became a tomb and then a monument a cathedral a megalopolis a war zone and a crossword answer.

Copyright © July 2006 Fowler Trask

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-08-06 22:15:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.71429
I really didn't know what to expect when I read the title. Wonderful open ending to this. It brought me back, the first part about vomiting into buckets as it reminded me of my purple haze days. Then you wove this magical tale at the end leaving me thinking... Well constructed in format. It leaves me with chills and thinking...oh I said that already. Fowler, I loved it. I don't often say that about the poems I read here.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-08-06 22:08:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Fowler, I'm not sure I get this? In one way it sounds like mankind/war etc...... In another way it sounds like loner, escaping from the group ... Puzzle yes, to ponder.... Interesting write indeed. You write outside the box. Good! Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-07-31 13:25:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Fowler, This is really cute - and unique in it's own style of poetry. I enjoyed the whole poem in it's entirety, particularly the ending - where you say "it becomes a crossword answer" - just pulls the whole piece together. Your use of imagery, and clearly stated lines - makes this a read that flows well, from beginning to end. It's a fun read, I can imagine someone as the likes of comedian Louis Black - including this in one of his routines - as I found myself laughing off and on through the read. I like it, nothing in it I would change - thanks for entertaining me today. sincerely, Denimari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-07-20 13:33:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86667
Hello again, Fowler. As keeping to your style, this is another great poem! The irony and the sad pride are clearly obvious. "Filling up the blackboard" was unexpected. Your last verse is so awesome. The 'littleness' of life full of major struggles and final words, leaves a chilling acknowledgement of the truth. First one man, then 2, then 9.....I like it. Another unexpected twist to lighten up the seriousness of this poem. There is only one line that I would look at again, if you care to polish this. They were quite strong, you see. Hmmm..Is that relevant? There physical strength? What else can you say about those men? Are these men giants or are they strong collectively? Perhaps neither, or both. Maybe it doesn't really matter. But it was the thing that interrupted my reading, so I mention it. I like this alot, Fowler, it is really good. Thanks for another informative and thought provoking poem! Kudos! Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2006-07-20 11:39:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Fowler--This is indeed an intriguing dark write. After several reads, I'm still not happy with my discernment, but will venture some thoughts. The combination of title/morbid phrases/who's who reference, in my o- pinion, speaks to the specific atrocious acts of Hilter/Holocaust/Ausch- witz, etc...Sorry if I've mistated your intentions, but I did enjoy the Poe-like tone. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-07-19 08:21:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi word describes this piece..Wow. It is a dark poem and for the second time this morning you have managed to send chills up my spine and compelled me to read your words over and over. In the beginning I remembered my boys when they built a 'fort' behind our house, every summer, and how much enjoyment that brought. Their weapons where their sling shots...even your second stanza about their mother didn't prepare me for what was to come. Which was a mutation of sorts which was disgusting and horrific. It vomited, guzzled, and sweat enough to fill up the 'blackboard'...but wait one man survived. However, he was terrified and ignored any attempt to save himself. So there he was in his self made tomb until he succumbed to his own fate. This could easily be another metaphor...perhaps of war or just the slings and arrows of life that we all must endure...both the good and the bad. This poem has intrigue, mystery, which begs to be read and digested word by word. It is both thought provoking and compelling...wonderful...bravo. Peace...Marilyn
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to Database Page!