This Poem was Submitted By: Medard Louis Lefevre Jr. On Date: 2006-08-12 19:22:05 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Crap Long before this crap started to matter
I tried to think with clarity and some sense of depth
But this was only a means to continue to avoid
This place I am now, this death of purpose
I surrender, I quit, I give it all away
If this was some sort of game, I left the field
I no longer have hope, I am not even hopeless
I have only decided to get the hell out of here
This life is meant for those who will play
Against a macabre opponent who never loses
Victory can only be achieved through imagination
But the reality is, the end only counts
So I pass on to others my mistakes and opinions
They never helped me to elude the defeat
Perhaps they will comfort or present another course
As for me the crap is over and I am gone
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Copyright © August 2006 Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.
Additional Notes:
More catharsis
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-08-25 03:30:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
hey sinner man, where ya gonna run to, hey sinner man...the ballad goes. Cathartic? Hell yes. Wow. You sure don't mince words. My self as a retired psychiatric Nurse hears you. I think you need to find a group that will help you on your journey. Life is crap! Some parts smell better than others. If you can swim you got it made~~! I used to tell my patients - "give up." They didn't undestand so I explained..."give up your behaviors because obviously it's not working." I think you have done that from what you say about surrender.
Thanks for letting us have a peek into your psyche. The title sure got me and drew me in even though it was at the bottom of my list. Take care.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-08-14 10:39:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Medard....writing about one's demons is very cathartic....I have often written about the grief I suffered when my husband died. It did help me but there are some trauma's that never go away...like the one you speak of here. You have done an excellent job of penning your emotions. I can feel the pathos, the hopelessness, and despair in every line. I don't know what has brought on these feelings but I just know they are devastating and dealing with them is causing you pain. This poem is outstanding even though the subject is almost too doleful to read. My best to you...keep writing!
Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2006-08-13 18:23:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Medard--In my opinion, speaker has left listener(s) with a myriad of directions
to go with this satirical work. This caustic verbiage could inference a failed
anything: marriage/realationship/project/venture/business or life itself. What
is quite apparent is the depiction of frustration with this current status quo.
If this heartfelt candid write is useful as a cathartic tool and does not create
harm for protagonist or others, then it has redeeming features. An adamant and
somber read. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-08-13 07:22:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
What I gather, Medard, is this poem and the one just before it do not beg for
critiques of themselves but of you. To that end, what I address here is meant.
Your plight (highly detectable) is from disgust and disappointment. Only
understandable, within life's experience of mystery and wonder, in a frame
of reference that you have "quit" more out of resignation, than displeasure
with fortune.
Perhaps, Medard, you rely too much on what other men have told you of God,
of the Universe, and of the mechanics of how existance fits together. In
reality, these are wonders and the truth about them grows merit to living
with each revelation. You may have simply been looking for revelation in
the wrong places and relied on idiots to speak on matters upon which highly
suspect "credentials" provide them false assurances they are fit to speak.
If, Medard, you might look at resolving just a few of the more significant
anomaly that persist in this little neighborhood of your galaxy, you will
come to better appreciate how organic and revitalized you life can become.
Let me suggest your first such assignment: How is it this little globe
can survive being shot at by its fusion star when it is known Coronal
Mass Ejections should decimate one side of earth each 17 years?
Take this on and we can discuss it at length when you have done the research.
Perhaps, you might care to travel a little bit to see things for yourself,
others avoid, on the matter of what evidence exists of off-earth intelligence?
But I jump ahead.
JCH
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