This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-08-13 15:11:14 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Deep yellow smoke thick but bland rubs its back on the windowpane I could die with pen in hand and now I hear taps of difficult rain I don’t have time for indecisions I need to write, need to create No time for visions and revisions no ideas, blank bones on my plate I measure life with one teaspoon my hourglass is empty of sand I’m the ague of a skeleton without a rune the anguish of my morrow is a wasteland

Copyright © August 2006 marilyn terwilleger

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-08-31 16:22:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
A different format of writing for you as well as the topic. Measuring life with a teaspoon is an awsome line when you place it against the hourglass of time (didn't mean to rhyme there). It appears you are doing some introspection most of which we do as we come down to the final count. Ague is a new word for me. Had to look it up. Good one! Your need to "write and create" is something I think most artists go through..some for longer periods than others. My only problem with this, and it is strictly personal, is that I don't like repetition of words in the body used as a title.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2006-08-14 09:29:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
mt--This writing quagmire is not unique, but the extrication is extraor- dinary. With these rhyming couplets scribe has jump started the muse/writ- ing juices. The overall work is captivating in its metaphoric rendering of this common occurrence within the writing field. The verbiage is allur- ing in its eclecticism; "Deep yellow smoke thick but bland rubs its back on the windowpane I could die with pen in hand and now I hear taps of difficult rain" "I measure life with one teaspoon my hourglass is empty of sand I'm the ague of a skeleton without a rune the anguish of my morrow is a wasteland" This offering is great use of inspiration for return to writing form. Within these lines are hints of Keats, Poe and Bly. Kudos! TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-08-13 16:06:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, Wow, you are knocking my socs off. This is truly a new you, so accomplished, no unnecessary verbiage, clean, beautifully discriptive and even easy meter. What is your secret, is there a special chant one must say before retiring to wake and find such wonderous writing skills. This is ageless, bespeaks of poets necessity to create; muse willing or not. Your writing is your blood, your breath and without everything is as a wasteland to poet. I'm really intriqued with this new line of thought and communication...another rose for you. warmest always, Lora
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