This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-02-18 15:14:59 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Fire Gazer

A warm fire's ambiance  beckons on a wintry day   cold of night gets thawed away   Wood crackles, pops and snorts  flames rage hot, sparks cavort   soothing to lackluster heart  Thoughts return to years gone seeking truth once burned strong   Fire's aroma burns robust On the cusp of emotion's stance  passion's blaze grows bright Such intensity there is in fire  Stoking the coals revives to higher  Fire in the belly, spirit in the soul  Forces of power and mind let go

Copyright © February 2010 Dellena Rovito

Additional Notes:
A special thanks to Duane, Mark, Lora...and always JCH for helping me learn/grow, [you know!]

This Poem was Critiqued By: claire currier On Date: 2010-02-25 19:27:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Dellena; you certainly have become quite the poet my friend and this one is very special indeed. First of all the title "Fire Gazer" has a pulling effect for there is nothing more relaxing to me then to sit and watch a fire burning whether it be in my wood stove or outside in an open spot for toasting marshmallows.....your opening stanza brings forth a warm feeling as the coldness of the winter night is removed by the crackling fire...actually I so enjoy the sounds of the crackles, pops and the flames that are rage hot....and yes it is so easy my friend for our thoughts to turn back the hands of time to days gone by, other places, other people and other loves.....there is so much within the lines of this read, you certainly have created some pretty lovely images with the flare of your pen. Stoking the coals revives to higher Fire in the belly, spirit in the soul Forces of power and mind let go a fitting end to this read. Well, indeed you have been listening to some pretty great friends here on the link and it is nice to see you give thanks to them as well. I have not been doing much on line these days as my computer has been down more then up. I lost all my poems, points for critiquing and whatever I had earned over the past years due to my computer crashing down all around me...I need to begin again and I will give it a good try. For now I am on home oxygen due to the lung and heart problems but you know I can't let that keep me down. Got too many beautiful grandbabies to play with and great brandbabies too. Take good care, will always check for your poetry on this site. Stay as well as you can, my prayers are always with you. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2010-02-24 03:39:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Dellena A great improvement! Best wishes, Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-02-19 20:26:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
There is certainly something magical in watching both the dance of fire when its warmth is needed. Together they help wash the cares of day away and cheer us to the soul. Almost like being in company with friends when having been denied their presence for a while. The parallel is struck by your foot-note. And the reference well appreciated. The last verse has assonance and meaning reflexive with its rhyme. Some winter, winter weather How I'd love us all together. JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2010-02-18 20:50:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Dellena, It's good to see you continue to polish this creation. It's unfortunate that previous posts are now hidden..I would have liked to revert back to them to get a sense of how far this third revise might have/have not come...For some reason (and again, I dont have the previous post to reference if the 'assumed' new additions were present there) I'm inclined to the second revise...more compact with enough fluidity to give the reader space....Here, I find the flow a little too restricted; the gone/strong rhyme seems a little forced here <was it present in the previous piece coz if it was then, it seemed a lot more subtle then>; Otherwise, it's all good...Yes, still a very nice piece ! Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-02-18 17:15:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This is excellent, you are definitely fine tuning this poem. I would say to be cautious of using anything that sounds like a cliche' or close to (fire in the belly) (spirit in the soul) however I think you can get away with it here... also keep an eye on repetious words (fire) although sometimes it can't be helped. I really like the feel of this poem and I think it speaks volumes to all of us... nice polishing. Lora
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