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Questioning Just there, beneath your skin Below the surface Where your blood flows, Meets the beating of your heart Just there, could I reside In the flow of your life's stream Float awhile, surrender Let your essence splash over me Drench me, in all that is you Would this be security, safety, life LOVE Or would I wash up upon the shore, Once more... Spent and wasted Or, simply drown, given the opportunity? |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2010-04-05 22:43:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy,
Welcome! A love poem positing possibilities and done well. Introspection that comes from experience and time is never as blissfully optimistic as we see in youth. I suppose that's a good thing, and one good thing about age, is that in gauging the risks we might take, well, we get better at that too. Never take a chance you can't recover from, no matter how it turns out. Is that too conservative? Maybe. There should be exceptions to that and there is, but I haven't seen many of them. "security, safety and life" are requirements usually more related to having a good job or pension, for the modern woman anyway; so I don't see those words relating well to the ideas put forth in the first part of the poem. Sorry if that seems nit-picking; your poem is a nice addition to March at TPL.
Terry