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This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-04-07 14:49:36 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Fine Wine

The sea rolls over on its side and kicks the dune’s belly while sand scoots across the beach leaving tawny grains that glitter Under sun’s yellow stare the pulverized bones of the mountains dissolve and sink into the sea which earth drinks like fine wine I stand astonished

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark D. Kilburn On Date: 2012-04-18 17:47:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Cheyenne, WOW what a beautiful poem and what a great job you did on this. Your sea poems are so great, amazing. I bet this would do really well on other sites or in the local paper. more people than the few here should be reading this one. There is nothing I can see or say that could possibly improve this masterpiece. I can tell yuo what worked, all of it! Pulverized bones of mnts. disolve and sink exactly how they do it- and then drink like fine wine, if I didn't know better I'd think you lived in a beach house. Your ocean poems are spectacular and should be published. Nice Title I am impressed and loved it. thanks mk

This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2012-04-13 19:49:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
We are indeed at our best in awe of nature. Beautiful illusions, euphemisms, one most remarkable, "the pulverized bones/of the mountains". Really like that. Grand understanding of the weathering/uplift cycle and its similarity to the vibrant life process. Delightful. JCH

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-04-12 22:10:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
cheyenne, there is a loveliness to the contribution of all to the whole. I believe you capture it well. The sea and the mountains, as opposed in so many ways as such appurtenances of the earth can be- yet contributors. Why most I appreciate of you verse is the simplicity it is written in- that matches the simplicity of the merging of of mountain and sea, sand and rock- Certainly, with weather and other contributors there is a complexity, but in the basic analysis it is all “like fine wine” and we are here for a blink of its machinations.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-04-11 19:29:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Cheyenne! This is awesome! I too, stand astounded. You have painted a pic that I have tried, and eons of others have tried to do!with your first verse. Most people 'hear' and you have taken us to another level-to see... Your second verse leaves me in awe. A fresh look! I love this piece! Dont change a thing ~smiles~ Ellen

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2012-04-08 19:08:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Phenomenal, most enjoyable. I like the strong stance--this starts off at a run and keeps on rollin, no show of slowing down till the end with the perfect "I'm in awe" statement... Nothing to improve on here. Lora

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