This Poem was Submitted By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2003-10-02 17:02:36 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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An Act of Fate

A brass band Heralding our return. A band of gold Around my beating heart. A simple act of fate Was how we met, Now we wait, For a simple act of faith. A new dawn,  In all its glorious Robes of radiant lights. For us to share. Walk with me, A little while longer, Together on a path, Edged with golden years. With a a touch of grief, We stare in despair. As something tells my heart Its time to "head on" to our destiny. Whatever it may be! Hand in hand through the night where, when I know not, but I will stand, with you my beloved To the end of our time.

Copyright © October 2003 stephen g skipper

Additional Notes:
I feel that I have achieved an acceptance of our situation thanks Steve

This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2003-10-30 19:31:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.51724
This is such a serene, sad poem. Acceptance is a very special state that tends to be illusive, but in this moment of poetry there is a stillness of soul. The deep love expressed in the poem is intensified by the simplicity of language used, and the poem has good flow. As a reader unacquainted with the situation, I feel a need to encourage you both, and a poem that developes that kind of response without being dramatic is in my book, good writing. I feel privileged to have read this. Thanks, Rene

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2003-10-22 18:21:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Steve: I find this poem the most moving of all you have written about your wife's illness. I'm pleased you are moving to the acceptance stage but the grief and pain are still within every line. Your talent for writing evocative poems, bringing the feelings to the reader, seems to get stronger with each piece you pen. I like the title as you seem to be saying that fate brought the two of you together and now you must accept that fate will take her away. Especially touching is: "Now we wait, For a simple act of faith." The next two stanzas breathe beauty: "A new dawn, In all its glorious Robes of radiant lights. For us to share. Walk with me, A little while longer, Together on a path, Edged with golden years." Lovely alliterative "robes of radiance" and the tender "Walk with me" and that magical, mystical word TOGETHER. "Hand in hand through the night where, when I know not, but I will stand, with you my beloved To the end of time." I'm too emotional to say much but you must give your wife enormous comfort in being with her. Steve, I don't say this lightly but these words of love and strength for your wife are superior to the Brownings' love letters and I can think of no higher praise than that. Stay strong for her, take care of yourself, and please continue to post your exquisite poetry so we may share. Thank you very much. (Powerful doesn't come close.) Best always, Mell
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dan D Lavigne On Date: 2003-10-16 11:41:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Stephen, let me start off by saying that I really like this peice. I think it is very emotion filled and descriptive of the strongest of all loves, that between two people. With that said, The first stanza was a bit tough to read. It seemed abit choppy and incomplete.Seemed to lack the rythm that most of the other stanzas held. The second stanza is absolutly brilliant in its simplicity. I love the way you used fate and faith to play off from each other. It heightens the emotion of the stanza. The rest off this peice tells a story of the unknown and uncertainty that we all face together yet alone. The only other thing I saw that led me to a question was the first line in stanza five. Did you intend on a double "a a" or was that a type-o? It could be used that way with a pause, it would add a level of fear, uncertainty and emotion to that line. very nice peice. Thank you, Dan
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-10-09 21:26:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Stephen, Every time I read one of your poems I think each one is the best you have written...and now you have done it again as this piece is so beautiful...full of emotion and love for your mate which shines through in every line...."A band of gold around my beating heart" this is a wonderful line and to me it alludes to your wedding ring...which when I read it I knew I knew the sadness would would be brimming in every line. You met through a simple act of fate and now you wait for a simple act of faith...brings tears to my eyes. The 3rd stanza gives me a warm feeling one of hope and acceptance..."robes of radiant lights for us to share"..."walk with me a little while longer" Oh how well I know this simple plea...just a little longer as I am not ready to walk alone. The ending..."I will stand with you, my the end of our time." Keep that thought...Stevie...keep it with you every day. We never know what awaits us over the next horizon and that is a blessing..there are sorrows there that we surely would think we could not live through...but we do..we rise above them, each in our own way, and there is always something good there..we only have to climb the first mountain as the remaing treks get easier....I know as I have climbed. Lovely poem...keep writing. Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-08 09:49:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Stephen I see several things within this poem first Soul Mates knowing that this was what was meant without needing to know the why's. Second it shows me two that have become one inseparatable knowing that no matter what happens the hands will still be clasped together, and extension to oneself. This is what I saw a beautiful love poem of two together in time moving through the ages. I like your stanza structure in this one five four line sections followed by a sense of reality in you one line bringing the poem to completion in the last stanza. Well done. Tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-10-06 19:40:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.00000
Steve....the road you travel is one filled with faith and trust at this present moment in time.......your coming to accept your faith as such your travels will be easier in are still held in prayer along with would be nice to know how she is doing as well as yourself.....this poem speaks loud and clear my friend.....the second stanza is simply golden.....lovely, it sings of your faith...not only in God at this particular time of your lives but in your own lives, together , able to face this pain, sorrow and still have each other.......that says so very much poet in iteself....a love like that is so hard to find....yet here it is being shared by you..... Walk with me, A little while longer, Together on a path, Edged with golden years. I feel in my heart dear friend that if Paula is not able to walk with you any longer that you will pick her up and carry her the rest of the way.......only a vision yet easily done for the two of you are as one..... together on a path, edged with golden years......never let those dreams go..... My heart reaches out to you both, holding you deeply in my prayers.......May the Lord of love touch you both in a very special way. Be safe in your travels and may God continue to bless your love. Claire
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