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This Poem was Submitted By: Darren J Ledbetter On Date: 2003-10-10 17:46:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Patched to Tapestry

I've burned all bridges in memory For the wrath I wait to suffer My past keeps chasing ahead to where all my dreams have slept When sleep offers a peak I forget every wish I heard from and grasp the nearest shreds my nightmares left behind Now remembered less in vision all my patches to parades become less in visioned The little tapestry I have was still to much to carry for my unbarring race against all that memory fails to do.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-11-05 16:41:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Patched to Tapestry [wonderful title - trips off the tongue and makes it move in an elegant tapping against the palate] I've burned all bridges in memory For the wrath I wait to suffer My past keeps chasing ahead to where all my dreams have slept Interesting to suggest that the past - can race ahead - that raises all kinds of spacial questions When sleep offers a peak I forget every wish [I've] heard from and grasp the nearest shreds my nightmares left behind ah....very dramatic! Now remembered less in vision all my patches to parades become less in visioned What happened to the "I" persective here? The little tapestry I have was still to much to carry for my unbarring [? I don't know this word} race against all that memory fails to do. I really like the ideas and perceptions in this really original piece. Thanks, Rachel

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-10-21 19:36:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56667
Poet......nicely written/structured piece with great word flow allowing the reader to get good visuals as well.....this is really well done.....I like the lack of punctuation as I write that way as well......allows for the reader to travel on at their own pace.....Awesome! Metaphors abound....Thanks for sharing such a personal poem with us and at the same time allowing the reader to travel in their own memories to a time when...........my own memory fails me at times so perhaps I should create my own tapestry .......thanks again for posting and sharing with us.....be safe, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2003-10-16 03:45:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.70000
Darren--What a gem! The very first unique thing I noticed about your piece: the punctuation (poets prerogative) or lack there of, except the one solitary period at the very end. This to me allows all readers to pause where they want, or to read un-checked. Awesome! There also seem to be quite a few problems being sorted out with some difficulty. Metaphors abound in this piece and there appear to still be some unsolved issues; Thanks for sharing such a personal poem with TPL. TLW The little tapestry I have was still to much to carry for my unbarring race against all that memory fails to do

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-10-15 00:23:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Hi Darren, It is nice to see new talent on the site…if you are an old returnee or a new participant…I welcome you (back) to TPL! May you enjoy the learning and exchanging of insights with fellow poets. “Patched To Tapestry” --- I like the simplicity of your title here (it gets straight to the point of the subject)…yet undeniably find it poetically and lyrically done. “I've burned all bridges in memory For the wrath I wait to suffer My past keeps chasing ahead to where all my dreams have slept” --- I like the depth of your words here…and the stunning metaphors you used to share some general lessons in life. My visualization is playing with your careful choice of words…and I find it very effective! There is so much imagery to be contained in your short but striking lines. Outstanding! “When sleep offers a peak I forget every wish I heard from and grasp the nearest shreds my nightmares left behind” --- I like your continuous portrayal in the profundity of “sleep” and “nightmares”. Appealing! You continuously expounded the intensity of “dreams” from your hanging first stanza line “My past keeps chasing ahead to where all my dreams have slept”. I like how you structured your message, how it flows line after line…comprehensively helpful to readers. “Now remembered less in vision all my patches to parades become less in visioned” --- Intoxicatingly mind-boggling! The dilemma and uncomfortable situation between “dreams” and “visions” are evident…and on how “real” human struggle this unexplained fate - a bit contrasting and also complimenting at the same time. The little tapestry I have was still to much to carry for my unbarring race against all that memory fails to do. --- One can’t deny the continuous depth of your words here…yet the thought-provoking ideas it displays is interesting and challenging. You have summarized the poem in your quest to fulfill whatever left in your “dreams”, “visions” and “memories”. Such profound messages leaving readers in awe! Kudos on your powerful and interesting work here Darren! There is so much more to say in your short piece. Thanks for posting your work in TPL for us to contemplate…I sure enjoy the read! Looking forward to read more of your art! As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2003-10-13 11:06:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
Hi Darren, I'll do my best with this poem. I read this, as do all readers, from the point of view of my personal history. I understand losing one's past in the effort to avoid the punnishment one assumes will come for past mistakes. The effort to avoid feeling the pain and shame of our mistakes ( and oft times the abuse of others) can cause us to block out the past. I am wondering if the patches are our efforts to re-write the past, and the parade is life? "The little tapestry I have was still to much to carry for my unbarring race against all that memory fails to do." I see this as speaking from the point of view of one who has forgotten his past and is trying now to remember. The tapestry could be read as the many part of the past that were too painful to remember. This could be the voice of a dissociated individual. As a poem, this reads well. It moves smoothly from beginning to end. There is a typo (to) in the last stanza which is an easy fix. I guess what I'm trying to say that this poem depends a lot on the ability of the reader to be able to understand the poet's history, and for someone like myself (very concrete at times) the poem is hard to understand, but not hard to like. Good luck with this, Rene Fraley

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-10-12 13:19:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Darren, This is the second very profound poem I have read today and I hope I don't fracture your meaning. In the first stanza you set the reader up for the thoughts that follow. Your bridges have been burned, you are certain you will suffer great wrath for some deeds and those very deeds are getting in the way of your dreams and aspirations..I feel a certain sadness and regret here. In S2 you welcome sleep but in that sleep state you forget all those wonderful dreams and latch, instead, onto the memories of hellish nightmares which are formost in your brain. S3 give me feelings of pathos and sorrow because you seem to give into feelings of despair. Also the same emotions in S4 but a spectacular ending to this piece. I love the way you have used tapestry and patches as it gives even more meaning to the words. Very good piece of writing. I cannot help but wonder if this tapestry and patches are written about your own life or perhaps someone very close to you...at any rate I loved this poem and hope to read more of your work. Blessing...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2003-10-11 17:54:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I've burned all bridges in memory For the wrath I wait to suffer (this contrast between memory and what hasn't happened yet is awesome,this sets us up for the whole poem we knowo we are going to be dealing with time as a flexible substance) My past keeps chasing ahead to (this line slips into explaining instead of stating but the next line rescues it) where all my dreams have slept (this is another great line) When sleep offers a peak I forget every wish I heard from and grasp the nearest shreds my nightmares left behind (this is also very good) Now remembered less in vision all my patches to parades become less in visioned The little tapestry I have was still to much to carry for my unbarring race against all that memory fails to do. I trully enjoyed this poem. The only thing I might suggest changing is patches might come off better as threads as patches leads one to think of quilting and you refer later to a tapestry. Other than that change nothing.

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