This Poem was Submitted By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-01-17 13:55:48 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!
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Copyright © January 2004 Claire H. Currier
My baby girl
Into whom my love flows
Cheeks, oh so rosey
Hold on, never let go
Enjoying your sweetness
Loving your ways
Entirely in your gaze
Michelle is my first born daughter who has grown children of her own.....and still a joy to be around.......
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-02-07 09:32:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
What an nice acrostic to dedicate to your daughter Michelle. This is my first time to see your poem of this form. It is interesting to note that in acrostic (short piece), you have bruited the totality of your love for your daughter. Thanks for the additional notes, I can see that your love for your daughter is extended to her children, you as a grandma. I imagine myself to be in the place of your grandchildren. Smile! My grandma is supposedly 65 years old now, unfortunately she died two years ago.
Back to the poem,
M for My baby girl is more than a enlivining word for her. My parents also consider me as a baby boy in a way! The second line, you affirmed your total love for her. I could say she is the medium of your love. In the third line, the adjective is pleasing to the ear. But I think you overlook the spelling of 'rosy' --maybe because of your too much excitement to post this dedication. The fourth line is a word to for her to follow. It is a motherly word.
"Enjoying your sweetness
Loving your ways
Losing myself" ---- is your manifestations, your life towards her. Indeed, acrostic is a good medium to express love to someone. More of your acrostic, please!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie L Fischer On Date: 2004-02-02 19:19:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60714
I can certainly relate to this as I have 2 grown daughters, both of whom got married last summer.
You bring back the memories of those tiny faces, baby breath, eyes full of wonder and the complete love
you have for your children. Thanks for sharing this heartwarming poem..it brought a smile to my face:)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-01-26 22:25:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37500
There is wonder in your simple words here Claire. Such sweetness radiates in every lines, sweetness between mother and daughter…
Your poem shows how a mother’s love never ceases from the day her child was born to the day “this day”. So matchless, so pure. Calling your daughter “baby girl” even in her motherhood is such a lovely hum. “Michelle” – what a delightful name!
Thank you for the inspirations Claire. I remember my Mom on how she would take care of us (even though we are all three boys) like a fragile egg, like a great eagle…super protective and caring for her children. Your tender heart and spirit for your daughter is truly an amazing gaze to behold. Thanks for that inspiring vision.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-21 16:23:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
What a nice poem. Again Claire, you come to the plate with something sweetly made. I do not yet have any children, although I dream of them a fair amount...
I can see the mothering imulse here, and reminds me a bit of my own great-grandmother, actually. She was such an influence on me and my life. She was a huge person literally and figuratively. I used to grab onto her and she would pick us up. She died in 1979, but only after many deaths on the operating table and strokes and so forth. She traveled around the country visiting her relatives until at last we were the last group to visit and promptly died after a couple of weeks of being here. It was sad, but she never let go of me, either and it's nice to hear that impulse from someone else. Thanks for that.
The poem itself is simple and to the point, with a sweetness that is quite endearing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ronda Michelle Nelson On Date: 2004-01-19 07:39:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Well, I have a Michelle of my own! In which your title caught my attention. Mine is still at home, 12
years old, and the end of my caboose. In your little poem, you say so much, for the joy that they bring.
And the triumph of having to let go, for that's hard for a mother to do...To me it was complete, a poetic
description of a mother's love.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-01-18 15:46:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This is a lovely tribute to your daughter who sounds Like a daughter to be proud of.
I remember when I was a young girl, I always wished my name was Michelle because I loved the
Beatles and they had a song with that same name. I always fantacised they were singing about
There's rhyme and also assonance with flows/oh/so/rosey/go and ways/gaze that make this flow.
Aren't daughters such fun! Mine came for a visit this weekend from Mississippi and we had such a
great time talking until we were blue in the face. I've missed her so much since her family moved
away two years ago.
Thanks for sharing this sweet poem.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-01-18 12:59:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.60000
I very much like your tribute to the love you have for your daughter. I do love the image of the time you became lost in love with your baby and I can completely relate to it. I am happy that you decided to try an acrostic poem. I enjoy these very much and especially when they are personal like this one.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-01-17 16:12:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.42857
How much I understand this poem which comes from a Mother's heart. My boys are so special to me, as well as all of my grandchildren. This is a very nice tribute to your daughter that I know comes straight from your heart!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-01-17 15:48:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
Claire--I raised two daughters of my own (a 28 year old school teacher and a 38 year old 911/police
dispatcher) and can truely say (with the exception of the title and the lack of plurals in the 1st
and last lines) I feel the same.
Absolutely superb rhyme enclosed in the last three lines: "loving your ways/losing myself/entirely
in your gaze." There is no doubt that you love this child to pieces and is very proud of the woman/
mother/companion/citizen she has become (well it actually shows in your verbiage-smile). The sparsity
of punctuation and the apt line breaks allows a nice run-on rhythmic read. This is short, cute, and
concise: in orther words just right. Thanks for posting for us TPLers. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Robin Ann Crandell On Date: 2004-01-17 14:08:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
What a touching poem. Short but so very sweet. "Hold on, never let go
Enjoying your sweetness." Truely a great statement. I have a child of my own. We always
wish the best for them. When you say, 'Hold on, never let go." To me it's like me praying
that my child is always safe and sound in life. Praying that nothing bad happens.
"Enjoying your sweetness." Having a child makes me so happy. And I just enjoy immensely
the time I have with him. He is the sweetness in my life, and for that I would never trade.
Short and touching.
Thank you for sharing.
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