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This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2005-06-13 10:01:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Foundations

Two generations past, two generations hence, Reflect upon what has been gained reproduce upon the soul… ***** My grandmother’s tree was strength for all for peace, for the soul, was sought, She was there no matter what, for love is what was taught. She nurtured her fold, understood their needs, Captured a moment, within a breeze. Here I stand, an old oak tree with branches reaching out, Leaves have sprouted upon these limbs where life prevails and shouts. So far I see a bluebird song perched upon a branch, Butterflies dance around the tree Reflecting upon a glance. These roots, will carry on, beyond the years survive, With love and hope, and precious care, Remain so much alive…

Additional Notes:
Dedicated to my grandchildren (one grandson, and two granddaughters). My grandson who is eleven loves to tease and tries to wrestle me, he lives with us. My granddaughters (2 yrs, and one nine months) demand my arms, adventures is what they look forward too. We climb the stairs, go out for strolls, look at pictures upon the walls, play and read books. I am exhausted when they go home but can’t let them hear that. You can have ten family members in a room and they always find me there, what a blessing I have received. My grandmother nurtured me and laid the foundations for my family, her love carries on for generations to come.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2005-06-25 22:24:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40541
Thomas, This is a truly lovely piece. I love the images and the sense of a stong, old, perhaps oak tree that has witnessed generation after generation of your family. Yes it is a wonderful example of a foundation, with roots firmly planted in the earth and branches reaching to the sky. I imagine your grandchildren, wrestling with you and clinging in your arms, as though you were a tree yourself. Your family tree has definitely sprouted...and will continue for years to come. I really like the image of the tree, one can see oneself as the trunk, with ancestors the roots and children the branches. You have done a great job depicting this here. Good flow, i like the loose rhyme scheme...it certainly doesn't seem forced. Thanks for sharing this with us here. Mandie

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-06-22 09:01:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94737
Hi Tom! yes - it is wonderous the way love can nurture generations Two generations past, two generations hence, Reflect upon what has been gained reproduce upon the soul… good, strong. introductory stanza My grandmother’s tree was strength for all for peace, for the soul, was sought, She was there no matter what, for love is what was taught. or - for love is what "she" taught - to make it even more personal? She nurtured her fold, understood their needs, *Captured a moment, within a breeze. lovely metaphor! Here I stand, an old oak tree with branches reaching out, Leaves have sprouted upon these limbs where life prevails and shouts. that is such a strong tree metaphor - tree begets tree -wonderful So far I see a bluebird song perched upon a branch, [the song is perched? not clear ] Butterflies dance around the tree Reflecting upon a glance. These roots, will carry on, beyond the years[,] survive, With love and hope, and precious care, Remain so much alive… Indeed! Lots of resiliance this image rich and carefully constructed piece - and hope for the future So, two new grandchildren since we have seen you! Stop by the poetry group we are going strong. best "Rachel"

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-06-15 07:06:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
I love the way you have brought these generations from present to past to present once more........I remember my grandmother and grandfather and I can only hope my grandchildren will remember me with good memories too..........it is so true what we learnt back when we could hardly stand by a loving grandparent, whether it be memere or pepere did not matter there was always love......there was time to listen, to sit and talk, to share in stories of days gone by and of hopes for your future as well........your grandmother instilled so much in you poet and you in turn have been able to live, enjoy the lessons learnt and pass them on to your children and grandchildren.......we know the Lord has blessed you in many ways, both with renewed health and by allowing you the honor of raising a grandchild......and I do mean honor.......I know they say having a grandchild is wonderful for you can spoil them during their visit then send them home but when you raise one, as your very own, well to me that is very special indeed....... So far I see a bluebird song perched upon a branch, Butterflies dance around the tree Reflecting upon a glance. perhaps you might have wanted to change song to singing or just eliminate it completely...... So far I see a bluebird perched upon a branch, just a suggestion but it reads better......... I love to listen to my morning birds sing though and they chirp most of the day when they are happy. It is always so nice to know that what we have lived, shared and passed on will be with generations to come......no matter how long one might have been gone........my dad has been in God's Heaven Garden for well over forty years now and the love that man gave to us, as a family and individually as his children, has remained in my heart and will forever............the little things he showed me I try to pass down even cleaning a bucket of fish after a good night's catch........... Thank you for posting, it is always a joy to find something from you on my list.....take good care and God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-06-14 06:53:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
Hi Thomas, This tribute (not only to your beloved grandmother but to family life in general) is aptly titled 'Foundations' - for it is on strong foundations such as yours that rich seeds for the future are sown. Your first stanza runs a link of love through two generations past (the time of your grandmother) and two generations to the future (your grand-children). It is through the values nurtured by your grandmother, that you lovingly watch your grandchildren grow up. The bonds between grandparents and grandchildren are special. The last stanza confirms a hope for the prosperity of future generations thanks to the family's strong foundations. The poem was written on a rhyme based form which works fine. I would like to point out verse 5 which opens with - 'so far i see a bluebird song'. I feel 'hear' would go a lot better in this line Or it would be fine if you 'see a bluebird singing'. I liked the way you referred to yourself as an old oak tree - oak is hardy and strong and gives the reader a sense of the strong foundation the poets' generation will grow up on. The emotional depth in this was strong and in a day and age when families are more divided than united you reiterate a very profound statement - FAMILIES ARE IMPORTANT. Hope to be able to respond to more of your poems, Thomas. Take Care, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-06-13 15:51:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Thomas, This is superb, a real delight both in form and technique. There is not one statement that I could pull out to tell you how special this piece is. I can see that it is filled with love and you made my heart joyous with the awe that you apparently have for your grandmother. I also have three small grandchildren in my home, two boys (5 & 2)and a girl(4), they are a handfull, never a dull moment and definately wear me to a frazzle, I only hope that I can do as well as your grandmother did for you. What a wonderful tribute you have given her and what a wonderful legacy she gave to you and yours. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2005-06-13 11:58:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thomas, I read a wonderful e-mail before logging on. Spectacular is one word that comes to mind and I'll be reviewing it daily. I'm very grateful to the poet! The title tells readers this piece is about the basis of something or someone and your intro quatrain informs poet refers to tiers or generations of family. The foundation lies with grandmother, then with you. Your format of unforced meter and bd/bd rhyme works well in a lyrical way. The way you describe gmother (metaphor of tree): strength, peace, love. Poet tells reader the family received nurturing, understanding...and this phrase: "Captured a moment, within a breeze." Simply exquisite, Thomas! Then next is the old oak tree, a metaphor for himself, the poet. In Stanza 4, your interior rhyme of sprout with shout and out, produces a harmony, an aspect of poetry I love so much...the sounds. The understatement here...old oak tree... branches reaching, leaves sprouting... nothing much except LIFE PREVAILING, SHOUTING. Wow!! From your tree view, a bluebird perched on a branch, gifting the world with song. And nil so neat as the dance of butterflies, a glance reflecting. The deep roots survive, poet says, and closes with this beautiful couplet: "With love, hope, and precious care, Remain so much alive..." This poem makes me feel peaceful, a warm glow all over and...hopeful. Your use of trees as metaphors works nicely and altho the use of trees is common, your word choices elevate this analogy. I must rest now...this is a weak critique of a poem by one of my favorite poets at TPL...but I will lie down and replenish myself (I hope). Kudos and Bravos!! Mell

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