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This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2005-09-02 13:27:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Climbing Levels

Ether floats, pure, purged of every earthly taint: Did the Wisdom divide the earth’s orb with this same Honey? Under Great conifers, ruffled at home on the high hills, Hid castrated Saturn. Every corner he gave the bright ground of heaven’s Shawl Till earth and sea seemed one – a single sea. Age, Flood, Lycaon, Lesser gods came hurrying. Eventually the Maker, conceiving a holier revision— Skyfuls of fist, quaking the earth— Fired dust and slaked it with the pure spring water. Rushing up through the elements Of ours was the mighty God: He wanted us to think Him Me (and so attempted to do away with me) Or some common rascal: Vulcan, the god of fire In the atom Deep.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2005-10-06 18:28:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Adam. Not Atom. You're reading the wrong ledger. I'm thinking of - well, it's not cricket. Or peanut butter. You're on fire. Keep at it. tw.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-09-24 15:31:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Mark, I am trying to make ends meet in this fascinating piece. Beginning with Ether- even Einstein in proposing the subatomic existence of “ether” – or Newton and Einstein along common veins seeking a unified theory for the deformation of what actually is proposed and what actually is- and then this, “floats”- a reality that produces the foundations of modern physics but actually is suspended- Purged of Earthly Taint: I have thought longer on this line, than all the others. I would, normally, reject the intemperance of this comparison that “Earth” would “taint”, however I believe you speak metaphorically of the “evils” to evolve, might “taint” the purity of the Ether. Your choice that “Wisdom” divided up the earth’s “orbs” is adding a character to an abstract. I wonder if in actuality it is opposite of that, or at least “wisdom” neutral. In reading I read a dualism in Saturn, that mass in the Ether, and that “god” whom the Olympians scourged and expelled. Kronos should be so well remembered, ... whether vacationing in Italia or banished between Zeus (Jupiter) and Uranus. All in an ocean of one, another banished for disservice to Zeus, to later be executed, and the Maker (an unknown source, probably of the character “Wisdom”), recreates the earth in the image of He, at the cost of we. Mark, a skillful piece, and I doubt I caught all the subtleties meant, in fact there seems one great metaphor I have missed that is the “ether” to this piece, that of the continuity of creation and existence. There is almost a sealed Ether there. The atom, like a skyful of molecules, is the energy capped in an atom, the levels, and the climbs. I enjoyed this piece.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-09-16 07:00:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark: This is a poem that has such elevated diction that I felt a bit unequal to the task, but I have read it at least five times and marveled. Now I am willing to comment without knowing that I will get all of your references, simply because it is a poem that deserves response. To refer to deity as “Wisdom” makes great sense to me, and it is a fresh approach. The surprising elements in this poem show up from the beginning. The ether, floating, in empty space, and then referred to as “honey” takes on another coloration entirely than the biblical account. And yet there is the feeling of Genesis in this account. Mythology is a rich background tapestry in this poem. I can’t omit comment on a poem which includes Saturn and his castration. Comical to consider him “under great conifers, ruffled at home on the high hills.” Instead of in the cosmic pantheon, he dwells, wounded under pine trees! I can see him in the forest behind my home, his great hoary head bent in angst for his loss. “Every corner he gave the bright ground of heaven’s Shawl” –exquisite imagery, recalls for me William Blake’s “Tyger, Tyger.” Till earth and sea seemed one – a single sea. Age, Flood, Lycaon, Lesser gods came hurrying. In Greek mythology, Lycaon was a king of Arcadia who served the god Zeus a dish of human flesh. He and all but one of his sons were killed by a flash of lightning or maybe they were turned into wolves. I love the idea of the earth and sea as a “single sea.” Eventually the Maker, conceiving a holier revision— Skyfuls of fist, quaking the earth— WONDERFUL! Fired dust and slaked it with the pure spring water. Rushing up through the elements Of ours was the mighty God: He wanted us to think Him Me (and so attempted to do away with me) Perhaps you lost me here. The God of the Hebrew sacred texts and the Christian ones wanted to dispel individuality? Or wanted to be seen as a personal god in a different sense than the old gods who only disported with one another or served human flesh to eat, killed them by lightning or turned them into wolves in a playful way but did not as them to worship Me? The last few lines are what made the poem one I returned to again and again. The “fire in the atom/Deep” is so mystical. Vulcan residing with his fire in each single atom – quantum physics presented by poetic pen, a raging son of Zeus within each atom. The blacksmith and his forge, hammering away, shedding divine sparks. Vulcan, the god of volcanoes, present in the invisible atom, which if split can divest us of our life and destroy what man has made. I can’t synthesize this, early as it is, as many side trails as I explored. There is a summation, I suppose, of all of this, “The Climbing Levels.” Are we climbing the ladder of evolution towards godhood ourselves, or merely getting weaponized to destroy all that the gods and man have wrought? If there are gods already in the atoms, and science hasn’t found them except in destructive form, how more we deserve the title “rascal” than does Vulcan. I am looking forward to see what other readers will say about this poem. I enjoyed this chance to comment this rich poem enormously. Best always, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-09-08 12:52:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Mark, This is a wonderful piece of writing but I had to read it several times to digest the essence of it. It speaks to me as the creation of earth but it could be a metaphor for something that escapes me. I blame that on the surgical removal of an impacted wisdom tooth and the pain meds...which make me goofy! You have written some phrases that just blow me away...why can't I write like this? Would mind popping over to my house and give me a few lessons? I love your first line and the notion that the sky floats purged of every earthly taint...amazing!...great conifers, ruffled at home on the high hills...another amazing line. I'm not sure of "hid castrated Saturn" and I don't know if that is the medication or I'm just too dumb. ..every corner he gave the bright ground of heaven's shawl...I used "forest's shawl" in a poem so I am particularly fond 'heaven's shawl'...skyful of fists quaking the earth...is a line I wish I had written.. fired dust and slaked it with pure spring water.....love this..in fact I love the entire poem which is so masterfully written..bravo...have to go take a pill! Woe is me will the pain never go away?? Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-09-08 10:21:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
MAH, Fantastic poem! Great structure; the thought is profound. To quote Shakespeare . . . fuck it. I'd just get some Aussie slang in response. (grin!!!!!!!!!!!) But really . . . a gem. MSS

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-09-03 20:58:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Mark, This is a wonderfully crafted poem, thought inspiring, that I read repeatedly in attempt to reach the core of it's intent. You have some very unique lines, particularly, Skyfuls of fist, quaking the earth, a very powerful line - a wonderful visual. Your poetry always runs a thread of deep, imaginative, soul searching content, and I as a reader find this ability to be amazing. There is nothing for me to change, or want to change or add to this, as I feel, you have perfected this piece on your own. DeniMari

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