This Poem was Submitted By: laura j dean On Date: 2005-11-24 09:33:56 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Fate Has An Angel Silence arrives
to fill the void
The din has one less voice
and you are bleeding
May I offer you all that I am?
I need your eyes
to see where you now walk
though you cannot share the path
My friendship begs to hold you
till the tears pause
You gave your son beauty
Decisions were his alone to make
The heartbeat you left in him
no longer echoed yours
His quest could not be filled
as life eluded him
Fate has an angel
that found him wandering
Wrapping comfort
around his weariness
Your son was guided home
Cry onto me
so that I can absorb you
In time the clouds will break
and we will find the peace of dawn
to listen for his voice
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Copyright © November 2005 laura j dean
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-11-27 00:25:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70588
Hi Laura,
At the outset this seems to be written for a very very dear friend of yours who seems to have entered a rather grim phase of life. You offer unconditional comfort and support as you seek to balm the heartache.
If I have interpreted this right, he lost a son (out of suicide perhaps). Surely, there is nothing greater than the presence of a true friend and a caring creator. Indeed, fate does have an angel.
You have written this in simple english but ensured that the poetic impact leaves the reader with a sense of his pain and the gems of sincere friendship.
'Cry onto me
so that I can absorb you' - firendship as a sponge. Apt. These two lines themselves speak volumes.
Well written!
Take care,
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-11-25 13:48:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Laura,
This impacted upon my mind so dramatically. Your title had intriqued me, I opened the book and began to read. As I read your well crafted work I found in it's easy flow; an awe, an engulfing of your words that seemed to surround me pierceing any armour I might have on till yes, I also wait for:
Cry onto me
so that I can absorb you
In time the clouds will break
and we will find the peace of dawn
to listen for his voice
Bravo for your superior penned offering. Thank you, this was something that might spirit needed today.
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-11-24 22:29:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Laura,
The journey from the magicians to you . . . relief, the smell of earth and the touch of flesh - yet ironically there are angels here. A beautiful irony. This poem is my daily bread, having been fed the air by the magicians, promise crammed.
Thank you for posting.
Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-11-24 22:29:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Laura,
The journey from the magicians to you . . . relief, the smell of earth and the touch of flesh - yet ironically there are angels here. A beautiful irony. This poem is my daily bread, having been fed the air by the magicians, promise crammed.
Thank you for posting.
Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-11-24 18:13:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.73333
Laura,
Sounds like your being a very compassionate friend.
Though you have not walked in her shoes, you have enormous empathy
for her upon losing her son.
Your right, we can't make our childrens decisions, although they try to blame someone else
for all their problems, particularly their parents.[I digress]
Lovely thought that an angel awaits the wanderer.
hopefully that is the case.
Good poem, very heartfelt.
I liked the silence filling the void.
Dellena
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