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This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-02-09 08:47:16 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Blankets of clouds forming an ocean; covering the earth Now entering gray, not having a visual seeing neither land, sky nor water A clearing is found trees parse the tops of peaks; homes dot the hillsides Roads winding and etching the land; each reaching for a different direction Mountain ranges carved and smoothed; a tapestry for the plains Flat lands green next to brown; creating a patchwork quilt Each venue represents life within showing turbulence and calm. Was it life itself having eye-to-eye contact which set this stage? Was it the wisp of the monarch with wings of music? What force makes this hand write? is it to reach understanding? What triggers the emotions? thoughts that are understood. In front of you are the dreams, the needs, the wants Behind reminiscences, the misplaced, the nightmares This is truth….

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2006-03-02 09:04:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Tom, The lay of the land here is voting weight comes with critiquing. I have nothing particularly insightful to say here, but that I enjoyed the poem, and these lines are worth writing in a journal and keeping: Was it the wisp of the monarch with wings of music? Thanks for posting. Mark

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2006-02-24 11:54:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thomas I hope I don't sound like I'm being a pain in the ass again ... but I think you've done it again here. Adding "This is truth..." to me robs you of a very powerful ending in "Behind reminiscences,/the misplaced, the nightmares", a far more compelling image/thought on which to end. This a poem of questions. I think it is fair to say that the poem is not arrogating to itself the ability to answer those questions, but lets them hang there for us. The "truth" is not made more true by being labelled "truth", even if that is just the truth of the questions. Leaving "the misplaced, the nightmares" as the final thought, you leave the questions hanging far more effectively. Their "truth" is thus more apparent. Mark

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-02-21 15:53:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Thomas...you may or may not have noticed that I have not been critiquing for a spell....but when I read this poem I just had to comment. It is lovely in every sense of the word. I am fond of poems that speak of nature and all the wonders it holds and this one is more than I could hope for. I know we are supposed to tell the poet how to write a better poem or at the very least be a little ciritcal but I cannot do that here. Your word choices and descriptors are supberb...."Blankets of clouds forming an ocean" is truely inspired. Also the questions you pose are very thought provoking..."was it the wisp of the monarch with wings of music?"..."what force makes this hand write" (this is my favorite) Your last stanza is stunning and the perfect ending to this well written poem. Sorry...no nits Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-02-19 18:33:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Thomas, You seem to be seeing from a birds eye view. It is good for us to view our planet from other eyes. We see the way we're going more clearly, honestly. You always have thought provoking writings. I also like the nature descriptions. I felt I saw! Neato Dellena

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