This Poem was Submitted By: Michael Bird On Date: 2006-04-09 09:36:15 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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One Night in Vegas

Vegas American city The girls there are all so pretty Temptation flows through the city To be there is not a pity One night in Vegas And a hard man crumbles You can live life in ecstacy I can feel you walking next to me Blackjack,roulette,slapjack Poker,hide the joker Five card stud,craps,slots You just connect the dots Showgirls,callgirls Prostitutes,hookers You might even play some snooker Me,well , I`m just a looker The city is your playground Be a player,or be played With some luck You`ll get laid Electric lights,city heat Sultry sundown,limos of the elite One things sure,you wont get off cheap You`d better mind the company that you keep In every church is a chapel Get married,get divorced It`s all the same Take a bite from Eve`s apple One night in Vegas  And the tough get humble You can live life in ecstacy I can feel you walking next to me I`d let you watch-if that would excite you Somehow I think it would delight you Watch the lights,do the hustle,or get hustled Go back to your bars and massage parlors The bars are temples,and the drinks,they ain`t free A little flesh,a lot of sin You play it to win I`m holding an angel next to me Take your choice,take your pick Sexy,sleazy,drinking,drunken Heat of the night,warmth of the day In your mind,time goes quick So many vices,so many devices A lot of debt,a little loot Some white powder up your snoot You`ll be cool in a three piece suit One night in Vegas And a hard man crumbles One night in Vegas And the tough get humble You can live life in ecstacy You`d better mind the company that you keep `cause I can feel the devil walking next to me

Copyright © April 2006 Michael Bird

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-05-06 19:08:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
Hey Michael. Wasn't this posted before? Looks familiar. Anyway, it rolls like your dice, clickety clickety. I can hear this one in a country song. Stay away from the white powder. You aren't just a looker are you?/

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-04-23 23:13:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Michael, Good that you are just a looker on all these temptations in this joyous city of Vegas! I am not from US so but I could physically feel the place because of your concrete descriptions. I could imagine the pretty girls that you are describing, the crumbling of these hard men, the showgirls, callgirls, prostitutes, hookers, etc. I have no limousine, so no way for me to park my carabao-driver cart there and take a bite from Eve`s apple. Just kidding! I am afraid to feel the devil walking next to me so I'd rather stay here in my own little hut. By the way you got a typo with "ecstasy". Thanks for sharing this with us. Keep posting your poems, Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2006-04-11 05:06:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I have always wanted to go to Vegas but since I do not travel by air I know I will not make such a journey ........therefore poet you have taken this reader out of Tully and dropped her in the middle of all the life seen, felt, experienced within the lines of the read.......A most powerful place I must say, you have brought to life the lights, the actions, the casino's filled with whatever they bring to their existence as also shared the tough side of this city let alone the glamour.....thanks for posting and allowing this reader to walk the boardwalk of Vegas.......God Bless, Claire Hope you are well these days......
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-04-10 13:53:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.66667
Michael, This improved version is just that, improved, excellent. I could hear the music in my mind and your wording keeps right to the beat. Your changes really made the difference so I won't go line for line, no need to this time around. I enjoyed this and could tell you enjoyed writing this also and sense that you are more pleased with your re-write. Bravo, you've brought Vegas to life with your discriptive verbiage. Thank you for sharing your rewrite with us. Best always, Lora
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