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Though Iíve felt the cream of winter dreams When the sun-scorched day is through My fingers wet is all I get And a glimpse of de jaí vu What a tragic waste, this aftertaste Gone away like morning dew But the pieces fit when the moon is lit And the stars are more than few A sly Earth sighs under twilight eyes Yielding wonders false and true Secrets took with the passing brook In a chilled ambrosial stew The spring is long and itíd seem quite wrong If the skies were forever blue Let the moonlight flow through the midnight snow And the flora dim its hue Let the cold air sting as a church bell rings And a sleeping world comes to While a brand new sway to the roles we play Makes inspiring tales ensue My cluttered head hasnít been misread And my heart knows what to do I explore my range for a graceful change As I wander roads anew
Check out my new poetry collection "Intrinsic Desires." available at most online retailers, or order it from your local bookstore. ISBN: 1420891995
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-04-18 00:26:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Brandon, It's been a long time since I critiqued your poetry and I am glad to have stumbled on this. I was intrigued about the title and I can only think of the word "perfectionist" to connote the idea. And the word/or phrase "de jaí vu" is new to me, of course, I searched for it. Anyways, you crafted this one with so much artistic lines like 'cream of winter dreams', 'chilled ambrosial stew', etc. And when I read this aloud, it makes a very good tone with all the alliterations and the like, it appears to be a song to me. More than anything else, this poem is a realization of what a person feel from season to season and good thing that there is hope in the mind to explore the graceful change. Thank you for sharing this with us! Jordan
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