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|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by Nancy Ann Hemsworth||Critique Date|
|Out The Shop Door||Kenneth R. Patton||What an excellent tight write. No unnecessary wordage her to clearly show the reader the scene out that window and the atmosphere as well. Great Job!||2010-01-27 12:10:09|
|Leaves||cheyenne smyth||Just loved this one cheyenne. It reads so beautifully and you can really feel the fall in your words.||2009-12-02 20:15:45|
|Our Dear Dellena is Not Well||James C. Horak||She is in my thoughts and prayers. Nancy||2009-11-28 22:08:31|
|Weathered Times||James C. Horak||"To feel slight quiver from a tongue run from breast to salty taste?" Very sensual indeed,that is why I used this in my poem as you read..something about salty and tongue that hits the spot. I really like your title as well and how you placed "weathered and dew" in the last stanza of your piece. "To know I matter by what I arouse undenying shown in what you cannot explain." I know exactly where you are coming from here in this line for I have lived this and is what sparked the writing of "coming of rain". I really feel a connecting between the two poems and think it is really special. Enjoyed and related your words James.||2009-11-21 22:59:47|
|A Sea Tale||cheyenne smyth||You have made me hear the whisper of the sea because of your chosen words. I love when the reader can have their senses awakened. I can hear, as well as see your images in this piece. I love "ocean's cradle holds the water's glove". I can feel so much sadness and regreat in this piece...memories of a earlier time, but then they can not be swept away..nothing can take them away as long as we have our mind. thanks for sharing cheyenne. Loved it!||2009-11-21 22:50:16|
|New Zealand||cheyenne smyth||love the flow of this discriptive poem. I am a lover of rythm and rhyme and this is lovely. What a beautiful land you have pictured here for us in words.||2009-11-12 16:06:02|
|My Homework||DeniMari Z.||Powerfully honest write. The anger and frustration of loss hits the reader straight in the face. You are right about not matter what beauty is about you, death blackens it to your eyes. I like this very much, short, no extra words here. Straight from the heart to paper.||2009-11-12 16:04:37|
|If They Could Only See||DeniMari Z.||I have written an essay on similiar suject called "Colour Choices" dealing with the different colors of me..so I really enjoyed your poem, and the thought that we are many shades (moods) at many different time a rainbow as you put it. And what is anymore beautiful that a rainbow. "Gently misting life with streams of innocently tinted sights."(Innocently)why innocently? Do you mean that is where the feeling come from , without cause? This is the only part I didn't quite understand. Thanks for sharing. I read the first one and then this one and I like the improvements.||2009-11-12 16:00:37|
|Raven's Flight||cheyenne smyth||Nicely penned Cheyenne. I love Ravens, crows etc. and find then fasinating animals filled in magical lore. This reads so well outloud and I love that. Has that feeling of mystery and the dark side to it. ..and at the end. ta da! he gets his prey. Love the line "When dawn decides to peek with amber stains" beautiful and original image there. This is my favorite stanza in the poem, the thought that he weeps for stronger wings to fly and soars in time where magics land remains. It is like us when we dream of flying, or when we dream so badly of what we seek but then return to reality and continue on. Really enjoyed your words.||2009-11-12 15:51:30|
|Grandma's Chair||cheyenne smyth||Cheyenne, I really fell into your beautiful, tender vestas in this well constructed poem (like the old chair you write of, this piece speaks of knowledge over time, comfort for the soul of whom ever sit (reads) it and brings back so many memories to the reader, like the stories told on your grandmothers lap. Loved it, and so glad that I found it this morning on my way to work. Thanks for the journey back to the lap.||2009-11-12 07:02:18|
|Mixing Time||James C. Horak||What a jolt you cause the reader of this work with the image of the last stanza. Love/lack of.....what it can cause..oh my God, what it can cause. I really can't put in words what this poem stirred in me, all I know is the contrasts hit hard. Very effective poem, you set out to do what you intended to do. Excellently done.||2009-04-01 19:59:18|
|Duane's, "Sleep"||James C. Horak||I have read this wonderful poem and have left my comments on it. I agree with you, it lulls one to slip along with the writer to this place beyond the pillow. I loved the flow of the words, very lyrical with an innocence and childlike rythm to them.||2009-03-28 15:57:16|
|Another Spring||Kenneth R. Patton||Point taken! (smile) Our reality and the symbols we have been brought up with of Spring sometimes clash as do all the others. Put that damn coffee down and get yourself out of that city. Go run in the flowers and sunshine, I as one intend to.||2009-03-28 08:25:30|
|Irreconcilable||Kenneth R. Patton||I am glad that your mind is still back in those mouse tunnels in the snow. Refuse to compromise...never give in. Those tunnels are paridise and you reconize it.||2009-03-28 08:19:33|
|Scan||DeniMari Z.||Hi DeniMari. I think we all are in the transition of our Spring cycle and that is a good thing. Life is a struggle for all that exhists on this planet, but we all have that one thing in common in that we fight to surive and in that comes our beauty, as the beauty of the garden. There would be no light if not for dark, happiness if not for sadness etc..for we would have nothing to compare to. We just have to keep on Scanning to find what is the beauty for us. It is there, move a rock or two. (smile)||2009-03-28 08:12:39|
|Play on Water||James C. Horak||I loved your skillfully laid images you have constructed in the brief and effective poem. This is my favorite type of poem, short and makes its point vividly. Such a simple life, cause and effect, no questioning, no mess of the mind. But for us ...well, not so easy an exhistance. Unfortunate I think at times, but then again there I go THINKING again..(smile) I work with mentally challenged children and have often thought and had discussions about the innocence they pocess and how the majority do not have any concept of death. They just simple live their day, one at a time smiling on their way..ahhhhhhhhh, Now wouldn't that be nice!! Thanks for making me "think" at this level this morning..even though sometimes I wish I couldn't.||2009-03-28 07:57:17|
|Fields of dreams||Michael Bird||I love that song, it is beautiful and I can see why you would be inspired by it. I like the ideas in your poem and my favorite part is in these lines "Feel our bodies rise As we touch the sun When the wild wind blows".||2009-03-10 09:32:52|
|Those That Kill Their Own||James C. Horak||The images in this piece are powerful indeed, and the atmosphere very forboding. I thought your last stanza,being rhymed not as the others was very effective. In fact I could see this standing alone as poetry. Nicely done, sent chills yet a sense of acceptance for some reason..?? don't know why, just did.||2007-12-05 08:52:45|
|Reality||Rene L Bennett||Hi Rene, I like the rythm and rhyme you have inlaid in your poem. It is funny that it fits actually because of the subject matter it could seem a little light but I think it add because it is haunting. It skips along in a childhood innocence atmosphere which gives it a "ring around the rosey" feel, chilling actually. don't know if you did this on purpose but it is very appealing and this is how it hit me. Your last verse is my favorite and leaves the reader with the poet, not knowing where the next step leads but facing their own reality to circle and circle round. thanks for submitting , enjoyed it very much.||2007-09-26 08:38:20|
|Stronger Than What I Can See||DeniMari Z.||Hi DeniMari, I can relate to this work so so well. I was victum of anxiety attacks for years and you have written this with so much knowledge of it. They say ones best work is from what you experiece and the reader can tell that this is honest and raw from you and your experiences. I remember talking to the anxiety (myself) and fightning to break free..you feels as if you are sinkng into blackness..anyway, enough of that. "Why do you bite at my peace of mind?" is one of the questions..and it does feel as if the anxiety feelings have become formed into some kind of creature of torment. I did the praying the pleading and did feel as if in combat with my soul, and that no one truly understood. I am now pretty well free from this demon, because of life changes etc. but at the time..oh my God..I thought I would never break free. Powerful voice here, and thanks for sharing this for it might make people a bit more aware of where this hell takes its victum.||2007-08-01 21:11:27|
|Embracing Glory||marilyn terwilleger||love the structure of this poem and the way it delivers when read outloud. It has that classical feel to it and one of my favorite type of poems. I enjoy the abab rhyme pattern. so much depression within these lines, feeling of hopefullness and dispair as well. What was she seeking, glory land her goal, but felt no entrance pass because of sins committed..this is so sad that some live like this not only in the period I feel you are portraying but in this the modern day as well. We are all of stardust, beautiful and pour and loved, as the Earth is loved by whome ever is the higher power. You surely did set the mood for this piece and I pictured this taking place on the moores of long ago for some reason. In my mind you last verse is the strongest and finishes this up perfectly, leaving the reader to just sit and sigh from the weight of it all.||2007-08-01 20:51:51|
|I Wish||marilyn terwilleger||I like this Marilyn, the way you use and describe each season as part of your wish you would grant if you could. my favorite stanza has to be #2 "Summer would be welcome, hot ribbons of air flip magnolia leaves trees stretch to touch blue." this is so original, hot ribbons of air is really nice not only as a visual but also the thought of the touch of the air, and love the stretching of the trees..nice personification.. I like as well the lines between that finish your thoughts with the human response to all of natures miracles...my favorite one of these is "Even surprised widows deep breathe." very nice piece and also very sensual and great for all the senses. The questions at the first and end of this serve as well placed brackets that frame your thoughts and keep the reader wondering themselves..what they would do.||2007-08-01 20:42:55|
|traitor||charles r pitts||Such bitterness and pain in this short piece. your use of harsh "t" in your first line especially snaps the reader into the mood of the piece. and again with the harsh "c's" "crooked coward" you have done an excellent job of describing "traitor". "the serpent's trade"..snake is such a hard image for the traitor and rings true universally. "ruthless are the reins" I could picture this serpent at the reins of his trade . Greed truly is the motivator and what makes for allies as you have stated. I like how you have names all the negative traits of this person.."ignorance the chains" oh course you might be referring to the victim here, but does apply to both I think, considering "ignorance" is a powerful force if it is a blind force for evil or wrong doing. Yours use of "tapestried" to describe the deception is excellent for it is a weaving of events and schemes isn't it...and the word "orchestrated" expands this thought as well..and yes in the end the "reveal" of the "crooked coward" and this is a true statement "coward" yes..excellent piece..I am a fan of short strong writing, so Bravo Charles, you have me standing!||2007-08-01 10:57:30|
|Criss-Cross||DeniMari Z.||wow! you have hit this right on target. and an excellent Title for this subject "Criss Cross". I know exactly what this feels like..you are the bullseye. hit and miss from verbal weapontry. I like yours use of the thought of them getting into their secured (good word for it) vechiles, and then driving straight for you..this IS how it feels.."The release comes in waves of tears through broken dreams, a beautiful song And a prayer for financial means, to escape." I remember being in that wave, of broken dreams, lulling myself with sweet music, but thinking how it doesn't ring true for me, no romance in my world..the dream broken..and yes the wanted for financial means..This causes such a feeling of not being appreciated, cared about, loved...a dumping ground for family to throw all there contempt and hostility..they purge, you fill up...and yes you do feel like "a mother to both, but the pot is boiling"..I especially love the power of your last descriptive stanza..the rain has not cleared the way" oh do I relate to this. I was in a 9 year marriage of sorts..not even sure I woujld clasify it as such, anyway..day after day nothing seems to get washed away..and yes, that is part of the reason that I myself write today.."to get rid of what I have to say"..only now my throughts run clearer.. Thanks so much for writing this piece..it really rang true for me and reminded me where I do not want to be..||2007-08-01 10:39:01|
|Morning Wind||Paul H. Roefs||very romantic piece in deed. I like your use of alliteration thoughout. ex..Whirling wind weight into my heart" A suggestion, your first line seems forced somewhat and a bit ackward because of the extended alliteration in it, I think. Perhaps if you just shorten the meter beats might help. Your poem is set up in an uneven rhyme pattern..first verse being a b c b, but then the second no rhyme pattern at all..and you repeat this in the last 2 stanzas..in the last stanza "mind and wind" are close enough to rhyme. I think I would consider following through on one particular scheme to make the piece float and dance as your subject does. I really like the ideas you have presented her Paul, like I said before, very romantic and light as well. you last two lines "We left no footprints on the morning dew A persuasive passions by the morning wind" has a lovely image to it, wondering though, should it be "A pervuasive PASSION...or...PERSUASIVE PASSIONS. there seems to be a "singular, plural" thing going on there.||2007-07-28 20:24:07|
|Angel||Jana Buck Hanks||oh Jana so beautiful.I could picture your experience so well..vividly written. I have so many times be in captured by the colours of our wondrous Earth and heavens and the awe of it all is overwhelming, which brings this to be such a spiritual piece. No matter if you or what you believe God to be, universal in feel and something that we have all experienced.You have also captured the movement for this piece in your well chosen scenes such as.. " My eyes shift from intense sun light to the hot pink sun set in the west. Clouds move and blend above the silvery blue sky" one is put right in that car with you. and here as well "Breath-wind blows the feathered spread wings" Your ending couplet at the end is striking , and oh what a vision to be left with. "Capped by the crescent moon He rides twilight supreme." nicely done Jana from one who really appreciates descriptive and spiritual writing, you have a beauty here. oh I almost forgot, your spelling of "cresent" is incorrect according to "spellcheck"..I am terrible at spelling and would not have picked that up had I not used spellcheck to check this critique out before sending it to you..LOL..there is a "c" in the middle of it.. Nancy||2007-07-24 09:32:13|
|The Mask||Donna Carter Soles||I like the way you turn this around at the end and gave it the ending that you did. fessing up to the "we" in the "masquerade" an enlightment or realization but no resolve. It is so hard to trust enough to go bare faced isn't it. They say that is what real love involves and so so many of us seek that, but not the courage for with it comes the fear of being hurt and all the pain..so we hide behind so many many masks..which in the long of it , a prison make for our souls. You have ended this answering the opening line question..excellent!||2007-07-16 22:32:01|
|Moonbeams||marilyn terwilleger||you have done a lovely job in the writing of this acrostic poem. I have written in this form myself in the past, and enjoyed the process. This little poem is soft, soothing and healing. Lovely descriptives. My favorite line is "Open sky drops rain below Nips of light feed heavens glow" very nice indeed! this has a victorian/romantic feel to me and I love that classical sort of think. I probably is the mention of "the ivied wall" and "ballads" that causes me to think of that time period. perfect little poem as far as I can see (smile)..||2007-07-14 07:53:16|
|Family Tree||Kenneth R. Patton||oh this is clever Kenneth. I have always had and admired Cats..I love their independance and self centeredness, but I know exactly what you mean when you say "Thankfully we can, (If we choose) blend in a little humanity" it makes living a little easier for sure , of course a lot of people lack that humanity factor..then again I can't help but think that our animal cousins seem sometimes more human than we.. you made me smile, then think and ponder your words. That is a good thing, and means this is a well written poem.||2007-07-12 22:32:59|
|Onlookers||Thomas H. Smihula||this is so true..I like the shape poetry form you used here. and it is so true.. If silent, thoughts fall on deaf Ears…… As if they never existed. enjoyed this Thomas...that's how I feel some of the times and it is universal I think.||2007-07-11 22:24:18|
|The Snapshot||Dellena Rovito||so sorry for the loss of your dear friend Dellena. there is so much material that can be taken for images and souls captured on glossy paper. This is so wonderfully honest..your feeling just as they are...so real It is true that pictures are personal when taken of family, friends and pets.."It was no special occasion for anybody, but us Friends touching close, smiling into the camera." but priceless to the ones who love you. thanks for sharing your personal treasure with us ..Nancy||2007-07-11 22:19:57|
|Grave||Thomas H. Smihula||This is quite a journey you take the reader on..even though trying to put importance on what is going on in the now, it can't help up overflow into the future..what perhaps is to come, one can never really predict with much accuracy..this has the overlay of meloncoly and sadness for "the life" that is going to slip away and loose direction as you put it...that is my biggest fear, to loose my minds ability to "know" to remain clear and in control of at least the true part of what makes me, me. The body will fail , yes..but to me the mind is the "life" and when that go, if it does, then one is really lost and can't find their way home as far as the earthly home is concerned. I am not a religious person, and consider myself more spiritual..I hope that after that last breath, I will indeed find the place (home) whatever and in what form that is.. thanks for sharing this piece. I like how you used the shape of your stanza's to represent slipping..or at least it did that for me, not sure it was intentional?||2007-07-09 10:01:33|
|Severance||Mary J Coffman||oh Mary this poem weighs down so heavy just to read let alone to live the experiece of it. Such a descriptive write and you hit it dead on. I have had experiences with troubled youth and know what this is saying. "In contradiction you exist " this is so true, "I fall prey to your pretext as white-washed words and pale promises adroitly pilfer my happiness ... methodically one heartache at a time a surreptitious strategy to sodomize my soul" My friends son was caught up in the drug scene and the lies and stragities that he used to self serve through the abuse he showed her was terrible. The line "a surreptitious strategy to sodomize my soul" is so powerful and perfect to discribe this."my love for you has turned against me within churning currents of raw emotion - feathers in a storm - it’s suddenly sucked away" the feeling of having all the power taken away, and all the love as you said used againt you...this poem just pulls at the reader the further you go down your lines. and the ending 2 lines say it all with profound truth.."....stars you once hung in my eyes have turned to heavy rain " I am so sorry that you and your son have to go through this . The poem is so full of powerful emotion and raw pain and in that sense you have done what you set out to do, to move the reader into your reality for just the time it takes to take this in...but it is so sad to think that you are living it. Nancy||2007-07-08 21:31:26|
|Russell Means-American (hero)||Mark D. Kilburn||Me being Canadian I didn't know who this man way so I looked him up, and you are so right he is a Hero with the good of his people in mind. Oh course the "IMPORTANT" news would be splashed all over like Paris Hilton, who doesn't want to know about her latest foolishness...dam eh! it is so frustrating, but that is what sells papers as sad as that is..and humans disappointment me and make me ashamed sometimes to be of the breed (: I am serious. I always say that for example the "poor" of the planet are kept that way to make money on their backs for the rich and the government set this up in this society..can't have things so right, equal opportunity etc , same as with the Native people. I will get off my soapbox but wanted you to know that your write has caught my attention, just like the newpaper artical should have been priority and brought front and centre. I think it is good the way you ended this in a challenge..."your turn- thanks for sharing this intelligent write with me..nancy||2007-07-08 21:09:31|
|Crystal Glass||marilyn terwilleger||This is a joy to me soul..I love the sonnet form so much because it has that formal flow to it, and is so so beautiful when read outloud. I think it is the constant "l" sounds that seem to sing that makes this so uplifting and light, and the descriptive lines are vivid because of your use of the senses of sight and smell and sound. I do not agree with your claims in stanza 3..your muse did not fail or skirt to do justice to this scene..it is music to me..and your couplet at the end works so well as it ends the piece with connection of the swans/love with dignity and flair..bravo!! I so enjoyed this!! nancy||2007-07-08 20:57:31|
|The Black Heart||James C. Horak||this has a powerful punch to it..the use of "diminutive" when discriping the lap dog..this word could stand for tiny but also for loving, complying , familiar..easily hurt, thrown aside with spite (representing the the other person....just another way of expressing rage, or indifference, a bullying of the other person in the sceen and the unability to face or take blame for what was caused. defensiveness. I have found myself in this situation "the lap dog", while in a terribly mentally abusive marriage, that thank God is over.. I like your use of realistic wording for such a situation..||2007-07-08 15:35:19|
|Through The Woods||Dellena Rovito||You have created through your word choices and description in the first stanza a heaviness that heads on into your second stanza and your state of mind as you climb "The mountain shows its force Beneath me the trail pulls down Though earth slants to upward" one can feel you are being pulled both ways emotionally...It is your journey and yours to interpret and work through as your mindset changes with the release of stress and the others the contribute to that in your everyday trials. It is hard to "perform" for others...and to be really and truly happy one has to be true to oneself, but that is not always possible. I like the way you have worked through from "heavy forboding" to a pleasant hike through the woods at the end of this.||2007-07-08 15:18:54|
|Change||Thomas H. Smihula||ahh..the haiku, I haven't written one in so long..I like the scope of this and a very important issue at hand with global warming etc..and finally some realizing the seriousness of it.."upon the horizon"..I wonder what will be there, or what we as a human race can see clear enough to mend in that "tapestry"..nice job Thomas. (: Nancy||2007-07-08 15:11:23|
|Looking Back||Thomas H. Smihula||I really like this Thomas..I think perhaps my last poem "Dad" which you critiqued might have inspired you to write this poem in the same subject, but with a much more loving and happy purpose in mind. I could invision this photo, looked upon with such devotion and beautiful sweet memories..you brought life to your recolection ..smiling still after all these years as you state in this last part of your write..The surroundings bringing back "memories so fond they have lived a lifetime The picture although discolored still holds it original tapestry, interwoven into the mind embodying the quality of the perfect state within…" and with your words " although discolored still holds the original tapestry' says so much of the things that really matter in life..love and relationships and tokens of that , that always become the most valuable over time. This image, one that will never cease to take you back and make your soul smile. really enjoyed this write..I think this could be a topic that could become a collection of poems based on the pictures from our lives and all the emotions that could conguer up ehh!||2007-07-08 14:58:32|
|The Decision||Kenneth R. Patton||oh my God Kenneth...how powerful an experience this must have been..through the eyes of the child we can all find such clarity..you have told the story with conversational style so well and I think it did justice to it. This is not something that needs anything more than the experience itself, plain and poignant. thank you for sharing this powerful and spiritual experience with me..bless you||2007-07-07 19:06:18|
|The Bath||Jana Buck Hanks||delightful read Jana..very sensual and I love the way you compare the experience with a "love affair"..also your last lines made me think of "turkish delight" the chocolates very dedicant indeed, and of course the warmth of Trukish terry towels..nice mix of sensations there.||2007-07-07 11:54:24|
|Silence||Jana Buck Hanks||I truly enjoyed your descriptive poem..soft and lush in images and mood. your first and last stanza's bookend this piece and tuck your ideas inbetween. I love this part the most even though the subject sorrowful you have brought a subtle beauty to the act. "family cemetaries cling to sides of wooded mountains waiting for one more soul to blend with twilight."..this made me sigh softly with acceptance. I am glad you are writing again, we poets need to print our souls to paper. take care and thanks for sharing .......Nancy||2007-07-07 11:50:57|
|Rocket||Mark D. Kilburn||Mark I just loved this, you have written the "pup" fantastic across the page. I could see her in all her clumbsy eligentness..strong, omnipotent and beautifully structured for purpose. Perfectly equipted to answer prayers. An underlying of playfulness and fun also woven into the fabric (or should I say FUR)..LOL This is a lovely tribute to one of God's creatures from the poet that loves her. She will bring you much joy Mark, as she already has , for she has one who can see the how marverous she really is. This is one of my favorite lines in your piece of discription.."Tumbles blurring black and white fur Fantastic".. and these two lines made me smile for the knowing in you,to recognise the embread knowledge over the centuries the the animals and we pocess "Only her heart surpasses that strength,for she is ancient"..."Blessed with eyes of the wise. While I was reading this, though I knew it was about an animal I couldn't help but think of the ackwardness and imaturity of a adsolant young man or woman and his or her growing into maturity from your second and third stanzas especially. There is so much potential in all isn't there to become heros? Can you tell I really liked this write? (: thanks Mark for starting my day off with a smile and a reason to muse.||2007-07-04 09:49:45|
|The Deeper Madness||James C. Horak||Hello James, "Dice held in the hand of madness"..wow!! the luck of the draw so it be. Powerful piece, but James "who the madman??" and what responsible for the madness in the first place..very thought provoking indeed! you are a very powerful pen, with little words you strick out with much girth indeed! and I for one really appreicate that style.||2007-04-14 10:12:04|
|Stroking||Kenneth R. Patton||yes it most certainly does..food for our souls Kenneth, that we all need to more than survive this journey. This is such a powerful image "Ridicule we’ll take wide open lying on our backs suckling hot resentment" you have jolted this reader back to memories that would be rather tucked away. Excellent write, and thanks for sharing. Nancy||2007-04-13 17:23:41|
|The Quisling||Gene Dixon||I like the tone throughout this piece. The questioning style and sonnet form suits your topic well and enhances your subject. Your words wakened many thoughts this morning. It is so true , "That though souls sing, they seldom sound the same. Some choose a gallows, some a savior's tree. The way we die at times reveals our name." we all walk our own reality, and choose our paths of survival, ignoring what we need to and pluckng what need be. We all use each other along the way, but isn't that what need be for "survival". The ending of your piece is very strong and an excellent question to ponder. thanks for sharing your thoughts this morning.||2007-04-13 09:14:17|
|Transience||Mary J Coffman||so so beautiful Mary. This whole piece feels as if it wisps as clouds. It is the memories that keep us and nuture out souls when friends and loved ones pass..like the clouds over head. I love your choice of soft "s" sounds throughout this piece and it gives it such a calming effect. We all know this feeling of loss, but you have made it magical and hopeful. For our memories do not die and continue with us long after. your ending is wonderful and speaks of the cycle of nature and our lives..we are all of stardust my friend..continous circle over and over again..you in me and me in you and all that is living.."yesterday we contemplated clouds ...today you are the cloud" so so true..and well written||2007-04-13 07:15:37|
|So Beautiful||Dellena Rovito||Am I ever glad that I got up early and open onto the site...this is so nicely done, and your wordage, rhythm and meter are like a song, not forced but flows so easily over its meaning. So much truth in this little rhymed poem, which I am a big fan of. Something about a well timed and rhymed piece that has such appeal to me. Gives the poem no matter what the topic a lit of magic as far as I am concerned. I really liked your opening stanze and a really catching way to start the reader down this journey of beauty. "lollypop youth" nicely done! "Body and spirit need be paired Beauty with heart becomes rare (so true, for without both, there is no true beauty, it is impossible" To know of beauty, beauty's praise In beauty we walk our lifelong days" (there isn't enough respect and vision for the beauty of the people in the twilight years and if we ever were the pocessers of our own special beauty, it is at the peak at this time, for we have the knowledge of all that we have experienced and this alone makes us beautiful indeed, if we find others to share it with) thanks Dellena for this insightful piece this morning. Nancy||2007-04-13 07:09:13|
|Sorceress||marilyn terwilleger||oh this is so lovely, so enchanted and one can see all this that you speak of unfolding as you read. I would see all your images and felt the romantic flow of the words . Soft and lovely this poem of approaching summer. I love the metaphore of the "sorceress"..my favorite line, is your single line that really stands alone "I watch and wait, her beauty slips inside my breath." for it is so true, the magic of the coming of warmth and summer days does do this..leaves one breathless to the beauty and awe of this world..thanks so much for sharing this with me on this "last snow storm of the season" I hope..cross your fingers for me OK.. Nancy||2007-04-13 06:59:00|
|From The Ground Up||Dellena Rovito||I really enjoyed this Dellena and like the new planting of spring, we too arise and are nurished with the coming of spring. I love the way this is written , standing well on its own for what it is, the growing and thriving of plants and natures harvest, but as you well know it stands in metaphore for all we experience. I really like the last stanza. You speak of death is such an honourable and fulfilling sacrid way..enjoyed!||2007-04-13 06:54:21|
|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by Nancy Ann Hemsworth||Critique Date|
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