This Poem was Submitted By: April Rose Ochinang Claessens On Date: 2006-04-21 01:47:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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"She shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man." Genesis 2:23 You are the bone   that complemented Adam.  Your womb has given  life to the  Light that  freed the lambs  from the Wolf's claws.  you have given birth to  Abraham's many children.  Hail!      O Strong one whose      strength is borne      not by a sword nor a      pistol Rise!      O crowned conqueror      and take your armour      which is your      heart.

Copyright © April 2006 April Rose Ochinang Claessens

Additional Notes:
i submitted the poem "eternal void" yesterday and today i realised that i have overlooked an error.this is the only way that i know that can help me correct that error.the line "water HER can never drink" should be "water HE can never drink" referring to tantalus. i hope you forgive me for this mistake.i dont know how to HIDE the poem so i had to do this.i hope it works.i hope readers would understand ***im now married so i want my married name APRIL ROSE C. OCHINANG - CLAESSENS to appear in your system

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-05-02 16:46:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80952
You pay much deserved credit to "woman" and do it though the use of well done, I truely enjoyed the classical feel to this piece. This is my favorite part "Your womb has given life to the Light that freed the lambs from the Wolf's claws. "

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-04-25 07:24:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76000
Hi April....I too wish that we could go back and correct our typos but this system does not allow us to do that. So mostly we just acknowledge in our answer to our critiques that we are aware of the typo. This poem is amazing and only a person with a pote's heart could have written this. Your first stanza is wonderful... You are the bone that complemented Adam.....these words really captivated me the moment I read them and prompted me to read the entire poem several times. I do believe that you have a gift for writing and I hope to read more of your work. In case I didn't welcome you to TPL..if not I do so now! Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-04-21 21:35:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi April, This one is so cleverly made. Woman, yes, everything is perfect on this concise piece. The Biblical reference is enough to describe the totality of a woman. I especially like the make-up of this idea, " Your womb has given life to the Light that freed the lambs from the Wolf's claws." Very well done, April. Another outstanding piece from you! Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2006-04-21 19:59:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.63636
April, Title: Woman Is she the woman whose knees ‘did not tremble before Adonis’? This poem inspires me to answer it in poetic form. I am deeply attracted to poetry that reflects upon traditional and non-traditional gender roles. I love the sounds within this piece, the resonance of ‘bone/womb’, the multiple m’s in L2, 3 and 6, 7, respectively. Perhaps ‘m’ is the ultimate feminine sound - ‘Mother/Moon/Mama’ – for example. I really love the first line’s direct address to Woman, an archetypal all-in-all, perhaps even the Stonemother upon whose body we live. I’ve read this several times, and have no nits, but I think of, also, it without L4. I love the idea of the womb that has given “Light that freed the lambs.” Most of all, I love the address to the Divine Feminine in S2 and 3. Hail! O Strong one whose strength is borne not by a sword nor a pistol Rise! O crowned conqueror and take your armour which is your heart. Brilliant word play of “armour” and “amour” and the multitude of ‘r’ sounds throughout these strophes in which woman is called to rise, to take only her heart as shield. As well, you open the final stanzas with the perfect circle or “O” which is, at least to this reader, another very feminine symbol. I am not certain whether my remarks apply to your intent for the piece, but I found much beauty in it, and that is sufficient for me. Well done! You additional notes distracted me somewhat. I wanted to read and reread the poem without my eye being drawn down the page, but that is me. I will definitely have to read the poem in which you refer to Tantalus. Best to you, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-04-21 15:49:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57143
April Rose, Thank you first for honoring us with this delicate but wise poem. I completely found it to draw me in and to hold my attention. One small suggestion, "not by a sword nor a", I would remove the [a] at the end, it is a non essential word in this case and helps the whole line to read smoother. Keep shouting the praise's , well done. Best always, Lora
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