This Poem was Submitted By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2006-06-27 13:49:36 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Spanish Moss

  I saw Doug Kershaw on TV last night Remember him? He’s the one who brought Cajun music to Ed Sullivan and thus to us all   He fascinated me then with his jerky scarecrow dance and fiddle playing and his “Loosiana” wailing as he tossed his  thick black pirate hair But mostly it was his screw you haughtiness   How do you get like that? I wondered We had a swamp out back with a river and woods But no Spanish moss That must have been it

Copyright © June 2006 Kenneth R. Patton

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-06-28 19:35:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
Hi Kenneth....there is that certain something that intrigues me about this poem. I'm not even sure what that is...unless it is like you were sitting across the table from me as we sip coffee or whatever. I love your description of Doug Kershaw...I am certainly old enough to remember him but I don't. Back then I was not that 'into' fiddle playing music...such a shame, really. 'thick black pirate hair' me a perfect image of this man anyway. Your last stanza is priceless and the last line....that must have been just perfect for this poem. I have no suggestions for improvement or other sage remarks....I just love this captivating poem...and that's what counts. Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-06-28 16:49:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92593
Ken, Your title definitely drew me in, I love Spanish Moss. Anyway, this well penned poem offered a delightful read. You might have something there with it being the spanish moss unless you want to become bug eyed. I think that was the one thing that always stuck in my mind about Kershaw, his bulging eyes and then of course his extremely thin personage. He was a hoot on stage and off, very nice fellow. I like the style in which you did the poem, very easy to read, this is definitely going on my voting list. Keep writing and I hope your plate is getting a bit clearer. You are often in my thoughts wondering what is going on and how you are handling the break up.... Best to you as always and thanks for giving me such an enjoyable read. I found no nits with your work. Best always, Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2006-06-28 14:14:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Kenneth--A bit different from your other works (as I remember). This is a sad commentary on free will, opportunity, liberties, breeding and decorum. Only in America, can freedoms such as these be trivialised. Thanks for sharing. teafor2
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-06-27 22:49:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.78261
A real storyteller! I love it. You have a great gift here. I say this mostly because you have pulled an idea through to the finish; you give the reader a chance to be drawn in; you give just enought detail to allow my mind the chance to imagine; and then you slap on some ironic ending that came as such a surprise, I could only laugh and laugh. I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing it. I saw Doug Kershaw on TV last night Remember him? He’s the one who brought Cajun music to Ed Sullivan and thus to us all Real casual, makes a body want to grab a bag of popcorn! He (use his name again) fascinated me then with his jerky scarecrow dance and fiddle playing and his “Loosiana” wailing as he tossed his thick black pirate hair Cool. Now he's gettin' exciting! But mostly it was his screw you haughtiness OK I can pick on this line a little. Maybe 'haughtiness' isn't the best word. You want to convey that concept but with a different word?....OR....maybe some quotation marks to guide the reader in.........But mostly, it was his 'screw you haughtiness' (I think I like the word 'attitude' there) How do you get like that? I wondered We had a swamp out back with a river and woods But no Spanish moss That must have been it...........I love your ending. So straight and forward to the point and then squeezing it down to a long sigh.....a slow recollection of things gone by. hang on sloopy!!! great prose, nicely done! smiles, Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2006-06-27 15:47:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Kenneth, JCH clued me on to this. The sad reality is, had he not, I might not have read it. Forgive me. Many of us here have become so jaundiced - with this place, not necessarily life . . . the site needs to be reborn. I think JCH remarked that this is accomplished or successful; he's right. This is an exqusiite poem. The way you wind it up is not something that is taught: it is a gift from the Muse. In this age of great levelling, of each of us being "great" and a little god in accordance with the Democratic temper - which is true politically, socially, and probably ultimately . . . but not artistically or athletically - recognition of the Muse and her gift is taboo, since the Muse loves hierarchy. Which is anathema in a world where everyone is god. Wonderful, sensitive, powerful poem which packs the power of herself, the IMAGINATION. Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-06-27 14:07:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
An incredible poem, Kenneth, clearly the best to grace TPL in a very long time. The last of this caliber was Woman Combing Her Hair. I't didn't get the month's win...sadly, perhaps, because I raved about it so much. Although I would like very much to toot the horn about this splendid work, it's up to you if I do. It's very frustrating to see something as splendid as this passed over simply out of spite. But then Thomas Smihula doesn't seem to be making much of an appearance this month. It was his machinations that cost Woman Combing its rightful recognition. Do endeavor to keep up this quality of poeming, it offers a pleasure beyond words to so many. JCH
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