This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-02-25 14:15:13 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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In Lapse and Out Paths snaking to bottom
on burros,
Slight hurry of water flashing
over rocks below
Gliding to still pools
deepened by falls.
Boulders now and then,
sentinels to Time, but in wait,
Themselves to grind at the
squeezing of toes sometime.
Voices now, releasing untamed
delight, momentary mockery
To ride over pitching froths
Eons alone can make. |
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Copyright © February 2007 James C. Horak
Additional Notes:
"Sensory time" in the Grand Canyon.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-03-05 16:44:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
James,
From the opening of your first line I envisioned the Grand Canyon, just from the tone and feel of your lines. You've truly captured the essence of the canyon and the trip down the narrow path that leads to the bottom. For this reader your poem was as vibrant and bright as being actually at the canyon and taking the trek to the river. Your poem is both alive and breathing, exhuberant and exciting, thank you for the breath of freshness this afternoon.
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-03-04 22:52:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
James,
You wrote a thoughtful poem....the sooo many years forming the Grand Canyon.
We think mostly of the moment. The excitement and thrill of it all.
Into the past with no appreciation for the rocks, water, beauty at our feet.
Nice, calm piece. Enjoyable.
I remember the view.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-03-01 02:03:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Beautifully worded allowing images to be created within one's mind.........how fortunate for you if you have been and witnessed such a place of beauty. Sad to say I have hardly been out of New England to witness for myself such places though we do have something called Doane's Falls here that is a work of art created by the hand of God. Thanks for posting, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2007-02-27 10:45:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
JCH,
It appears to me that this is one of your best designings. In light of its subject, that geological wonder called the Grand Canyon, the near perfect coalescence of matter and form in an Aristotlean sense is especially gratefying - though such coalescence is the aim of all poetry and art, no matter the subject.
I truly love this stanza:
Boulders now and then,
sentinels to Time, but in wait,
Themselves to grind at the
squeezing of toes sometime.
What a great conceptual addition there, "but in wait." For what, one wonders? Precisely. The last two lines are of this stanza are deliciously ambiguous. The "squeezing" suggests a moral agent, or at least a conscious agent. And that deft "sometime," echoing "Time" and taking the concept in your hand and flourishing it like a brillaint swordsman. What a sublime stanza!
A real gem, JCH. Love this poem.
MSS
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