This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2009-09-01 04:44:48 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The tall ships

In the docklands, decaying between usages, a railway shelters weeds between its sleepers. Down to its terminus I look: corrugated factories, rusting off the shoulders of the track, line a narrow mile-long view down to Port Philip Bay, so smudged under summer’s blear I can barely see the heads.  From the open ocean, a world  away, a sail wings in. How I long to put to sea.

Copyright © September 2009 Mark Andrew Hislop

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-09-15 22:51:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mark, The call of the sea is as powerful as any known to mankind..your imagery cements your longing and impresses your reader. Very well written. Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-09-13 10:38:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This is the most advised way of looking at nostalgia yet. For it harbors (forgive the pun)a higher reference poem by far than that most mentioned, the first kiss, the old movie theater in hometown, USA (or Aussieland.) The image of "tall ships" is grand, and hearkens to the times when splendid sailing craft owned the be paralleled of couse with the industry and commerce once had WITHIN the great nations of industry. Now compromised in every respect, like the trade sailcraft and their pure respect for the elements by a forever polluting fueled steamer or worse. Fast profits, fast Estimated Arrival Time, fast madness. And the ruins in aftermath. Right down to the bottoms of the oceans if we don't start "backtracking" to times when we were "getting it right". When it was indeed time, "to put to sea". JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2009-09-07 19:50:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Enjoyed the longing in this one.....many years ago I was fortunate to watch the Tall Ships come into harbor here in New England with the escort of the US Coast Guard. At the time my husband was stationed on the USS CastleRock which was one of the ships bringing them in. Your pen has painted quite a picture and your heart seems to have stirred up an old love....along with the beauty of the sea and those who long to ride its waves. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2009-09-01 16:54:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
MAH, It's good to have you back. This has all the Hislop qualities: the raw pain, emotion, the heart on the sleeve. The sustained universe of consistent metaphor. Very Shelleyean, like the Bay of Leirici (sp?) poem of his - all of this is a very good thing. I get the feeling though that this is you getting your sea legs back. You're just saying "how do ya do" to the sea again, just warming up. Let's go whaling, shall we? Did i say it was nice to have you back? MSS
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