This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-01-06 17:50:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Two Step

Again he said, “I love you”                                           I smile and nod my head Never to respond to the                                           Words I've learned to dread If love were so simple                                           And action took a form One reveals concern                                          With every deed performed Love can be exquisite                                          Agreeably so true It could prove enduring                                         Endeavor's of the few Love is an enigma                                          That unsettles the brain It can be about spirit                                          And yet create pain In the world of troubles                                          That lay within today Love is the saving grace                                          Making peace within the fray Don't speak to me of fondness............ display it in your dance.

Copyright © January 2010 Dellena Rovito

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-01-12 08:31:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A very ambious poem. One does need to read it as three seperate poems to truly appreciate the depths of this poem. For me, I preferred the poem set out aside... it was more succinct and quite complete within its self. Within you many layers and textures you've voiced some very sage thoughts. I did find that the formatting was a bit distractive for me however I understand why you've formatted it the way you did. Thank you for an enjoyable read. Good luck this month, glad you are on the mend. Wadoh, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-01-10 09:52:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Ohhh, this is clever, never once breaking the dual pattern until the final statement. Making that statement that much more powerful...yet you restrain to the wonderful illusion, "display it in your dance". You put some work into this and it shows. I hope everyone appreciates just how much. Well textured with profound (and true) statements, it is a delight how you reserve the rhyme pattern for the extended lines. I am taken with your poem, my dear. Enjoyed it very much. Now stay healthy and it's win/win. JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-01-08 17:32:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello Dellena, I am interested to know if you have written this poem in a structure I am not famillar with? Maybe it comes from your talented pen but either way I do like it. It reads well, dispite the varied lines and even though the syllable count isn't consistent it flows well and is lyrical. You have a good rhyme and excellent word choices. It is so true that "actions speak louder than words." Well done. Best, cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-01-07 10:28:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Wow.......I have to say this is my favorite post from you. It is so different, and flows off the page, in a style & structure that truly makes it stand out. Bravo, I'm glad you posted this and it will def be on my list for January. This is a creation of true talent, put forth from inside and brought out from deep within your soul. I love it, especially the last line -It could be a song! blessings, Deni
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