This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2010-01-12 15:47:37 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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"...where there is a wound, there is a subject: 'die Wunde! die Wunde!' says Parsifal,  thereby becoming 'himself'; and the deeper the wound, at the body's centre (at the  'heart'), the more the subject becomes a subject: for the subject is 'intimacy'  ('The wound ... is of a frightful intimacy'). Such is love's wound, a radical chasm  (at the 'roots' of being), which cannot be closed, and out of which the subject drains,  constituting himself as a subject in this very draining."                                                                  - Roland Barthes, 'A Lover's Discourse' Go, then, to your Church. Go. Then enquire if your saints know anything of desire because I am dispensed from love. I am a dragonfly dispensed from its pupa, I emerge in the clarion stupor of desire in its brightest sharpest flame. I am open wounds forever burning conflagrated by my object turning turning ever turning from me. Go, then: pray and pray that you'll be left unbroken, pray and pray----yes, as often as you can---- your saints spare you the creation I feel, to be as fissile as this broken man I am, the overloaded atom's whirl I am, the white-hot core. Do not embrace me, for lo! I explode in your face.

Copyright © January 2010 Mark Andrew Hislop


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-01-24 17:25:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark, No love, no how! I understand and know of your emotion. If one would or could love you, you would be fixed. Righted! We spend our lifetime searching for the one to fill the void. One upon the other taking their turn..... Ready to explode if only you would..... Pray/hope that it changes. You feel so alone. Everyone else seems loved. And the day comes when you figure it all out. If only our personal feelings would be set aside....and we could see. Dellena


This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2010-01-18 00:58:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Ah, you drama queen, you. I like the repetition of "I am" near the explosive end. I can hear her begging for more. ;)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2010-01-13 19:04:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
MAH, I can see your recent reading of Crane. Yet I feel something's off. This is you trying on a new pair of shoes. Not a great fit at the moment, but them shoes are leather, and the road waits for them. But is has the marks of a first rate poet all over it. In these days, that is more than enough. Sharpen that quill for both of us . . . mine's duller and rounder than a pickle's end. MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-01-13 01:23:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello Mark, I am more than enamored with this poem. I read it earlier today and then again tonight and have to admit it speaks to me on more than one level. I have never read anything by Roland Barthes which makes me feel inadequate to even comment let alone offer a solid critique. Much of your phrasing is superb and your word choices are remarkable. I had to look up the word 'fissile' and now wish I had thought to use it first. I find this poem sensual, erotic and evocative but I also hear the anger that dwells in the lines. The wounds you describe are slow to heal even if they have been sutured, they will still fray. An outstanding poem. Best, cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-01-12 23:44:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
This challenge to those that would reduce others to their own oftentimes thin frame of reference, is powerful AND applicable as much to many other matters than those of the love/celibacy debate. Exotic (..."a dragonfly dispensed from its pupa,/I emerge in the clarion stupor/of desire in its brightest sharpest flame.") in imagery yet poignant in focal intensity ("I am, the overloaded atoms's whirl/I am, the white-hot core...) that dispenses well with the easy judgement. Yes, no one can know anothers searing to the depths from "love's wound" and the wise do not try. And, I'm certain, you most of all wish they didn't. Very interesting language, powerful imagery and highly evocative. Shall we decline, "object turning" to some safe double intende'? Very good and am overjoyed to see you participating in the contest. JCH
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