This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-02-16 17:53:27 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Scream - Repost From Year - 2001

We all have our crosses to bear. I know that's what they say. What I don't know is why I had to suffer because of you today. It's like living in prison, not being able to escape. Dread that lives inside you will  never go away. You already know your future, you've endured so often from past. It will always be first, you will always be last. It makes you want to scream and cry, knowing you'll never know the reason why. It's more powerful than you are. It is perpetual madness.   I live with it every day. I hope, wish, beg and pray. No matter what I do I can't make this disease go away for you. I've tried to be strong, to help you get well can't get close enough because it's your private hell. If I had a magic wand I would wave it over you, and say "Please dear God help him, make it go away." Knowing you can't control it or reason nor think, when you feel compelled beyond all to follow your path to drink. It consumes all of my days, all waking moments of my life, because I'm obviously an alcoholics wife. If there were one day without it we wouldn't know what to do. I wouldn't be the me you know who lives with the alcoholic in you.  

Copyright © February 2010 DeniMari Z.

Additional Notes:
Copyright � September 2001 DeniMari Z. R.I.P. Edward J. Zienowicz - 6/23/64 - 2/4/2010 - My husband & I lived separate for many years, thought never formally divorced. He lost the battle he endured for many years. May God bless our son Joshua, who is grieving the loss of his father. We laid Ed to rest yesterday - I hope he has found the peace life could not give him. My notes on this poem in 2001 - This poem is dedicated to anyone that has endured a dysfunctional relationship. Alcoholism is a worldwide tragedy, for those who suffer with it and their families. Treatment and therapy for this disease is no longer made readily available. Unless, you can properly afford it. It kills, it tears families apart and it makes children hurt inside. If this poem touches anyone that knows an alcoholic then I have achieved what I had intended to do.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2010-03-05 23:29:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Deni, A piece that is profound in its relevance to a stark reality that many must endure. For sure, this must have been very tough for Josh and yourself. The sincerity in the words comes across very effectively. I like that as it is a very important ingredient in the development of our craft. Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2010-02-25 17:44:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Deni, I have an uncle who was an alcoholic, but he managed to get clear of it through AA. That's free in Canada, but it doesn't help everyone. Sincere condolences to you and your son. Hope you both remember some happy times with this man. Terry
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2010-02-18 15:27:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This will touch many, as it did me. My family is full of them. I hope you and your son find some way to deal with the pain. Tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2010-02-18 04:53:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Deni There is no doubt that what you have written here is capable of touching many. The situation is all too common, banal even. There is no doubt that many have tried to do what you tried to do: to love someone out of their own self-destruction. But that is an unwinnable war, as you discovered. The content is what is can only be, and it cannot, in my view be criticised. But as a poem, it does not succeed. It's essentially prose -- a letter -- broken into stanzas, and therefore doesn't exploit what it could. It lacks artfulness. But it lacks nothing in poignancy. Best wishes, Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-02-17 00:10:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Deni, your words ring loud and clear now just as they did when you first wrote this. Alcoholism is a disease but it not only affects the alcoholic--it affects all those around the individual. It is a desestating disease as you say and no one can do anything about it except for the person in the middle of the crisis. I applaud the stand you took, it was the only one you could take with a child in the home. I also understand your pain I send my condolences. Your poem express's more than pain, but also of loss. Well written and presented, excellent. no nits or spags. Lora
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