This Poem was Submitted By: Michael Bird On Date: 2010-12-09 00:07:28 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Wild Wild Sex

Out on the pier Whispers in your ear Lets do it here and now Standing in the school hall Playin in the pool hall Up against a wall Under a waterfall Its wild wild sex Jumping in the backseat Drivin down the street Up in a balloon  Flyin to the moon Soaring in a rocket Put your hands in my pocket Go out and play in the hay Runnin naked on a rainy day Wild wild sex Its wild wild sex Gimme mean sex Gimme gentle sex Gimme wild wild sex Give it up,give it up Its wild wild sex Live it up all over town Legs up in the air Swing`em up and down Do it to the left Do it to the right I don`t care `Cause she`s so tight Hangin in the backroom Waitin for the big boom Back to the hotel room Wild wild sex Its wild wild sex

Copyright © December 2010 Michael Bird

Additional Notes:
Whew! WHAT a night!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2011-01-05 00:05:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Hi Michael, I respect the honesty in this piece and your feelings from indulging in the act of lovemaking remains intact in the poem - a very important aspect in poetry writing lest the piece seem fabricated and devoid of sincerity. As a suggestion and in an attempt to be constructive, I would recommend revising this by asking yourself how you can make it sound fresh, unique and perhaps a little more elegant with a softer sense of sensuality. I like some of your other pieces better. Just being honest. I missed the poetry in this. Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-12-16 09:43:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
The recurring metaphor "wild wild sex" holds this piece together. Having had "similar" experiences I immediately jumped in and traveled with you. Although this piece is anecdotal; so to speak, for a greater contribution- you chose to keep the excitment of the experience over the contributions of personal descriptives. This made the piece an occassion; and either set the reader free to fill in the blanks, or yearn for a greater latitude in image and content. I know; the piece was a descriptive ride of a lifetime. Is it wrong to wish I had been there? O.K. I won't.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-12-10 00:12:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I see you're experimenting with erotica poetry and you've nailed this one - How many TPL poets will be in cold showers tonight? Great write - realistic, non-prudish and simply the topic is a part of life - or their would be no life, and I'm glad you have this memory to look back on. Deni
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