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This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2011-05-22 10:03:54 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Momentary Elegance

Whispers changing to bated breath taken in cadence with each intention Stroking moments into elegance A hand rises from crumpled leavings a bed mistreated by unsleep inappropriate to anything else But fusing your will with mine To drift one moment into eternity

Additional Notes:
Were I able to utilize indentation, a better read of many of the poems I write might be enhanced. But of course such developments, to appreciate, require growth. TPL hasn't had that since our host decided to stop such potential long ago.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-06-02 12:49:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
James, always the romantic. The use of double entendre in this piece sets it above the actual "beauty" of the write/moment. I also like the assonance and alliteration in nearly every line. I have a personal apprecition for such. It makes the entire vessel seem to be a cloud rhyme; which it is not. In particular, "Eternity" seems outset from the verse. The moment is captured so well, that to spread it across eternity adds actual temperance and accents the potency of your verse. Very enjoyable write.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-06-01 00:10:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Appropriate note with post of very appealing poem. Your talent stands on it's on JC, and you do not require validation from any of us about how beautiful your craft is or how you try to inspire others on their way to formal poetry. I've been a faithful student of yours for years now (smile)and have gained through your honest opinion - with each poem. Such a tender write of love- seduction - the very essence that captures the readers attention, as if beginning to read a novel of a powerful love story. Trust that it stands out- and that makes a clear vivid image with your choice of words that need not be tampered with- Excellent- I'm a fool for a romantic poem, blessings, Deni

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2011-05-26 19:53:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Simply delectable, deliciously delightful, delicately dialing up the desireable, ooooou! Your lines flow and weave like the breath of this poem, continuous motion--sensitive, passionate and rythmic... Your words could not be clearer les they be in movie form but alas that was playing out in my mind's eye. I have read and reread this and find I return for more. The depths of your lines is woven well and at first blush many will miss the intensity, the complex emotions and all the words that are left unsaid... A pleasure to read and review. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Pat Eaklor On Date: 2011-05-22 13:26:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.42857
Hi, James, I'm new here at TPL, so I don't understand your Author's Note. Maybe that's just as well, for it made me feel sad, however. Now, to Momentary Elegance: This poem has a very nice emotional buildup which is capped and then released by your last line, "To drift one moment into eternity" Effective. Brings back wonderful memories... Pat

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