Stefanie L Ankle's E-Mail Address: daankle@aol.com
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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Stefanie L Ankle has given on The Poetic Link.
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Displaying Critiques 1 to 3 out of 3 Total Critiques.| Poem Title | Poet Name | Critique Given by Stefanie L Ankle | Critique Date |
| untitled - from Nov 2003 | Cara-Mae D. Hackett | Cara Mae, I love your poem. It gives me such a sense of the exotic, with a tint of ancient fantasy, and places I can only dream of. Yet, as with almost all poetry, this poem can also be bettered. I love the first three lines of your first stanza, yet the next three could use some fine-tuning. I appreciate the "persistence of commissioned salespeople" line, however, I don't know if it adds to your poem, or detracts from it a bit. The next two lines almost seem amateurish compared with the first three lines, but I can't think of any suggestions. The idea is right on, but your diction could be tightened. I do think relentless fits with the tone of the first three lines, though. The second stanza is perfect, at least to me, but I do think the third stanza could be worked on a little. Maybe you could change "faith or by delusion" to "faith and delusion" because the tone of you poem seems t o be all about delusion, and deception, thus it seems even the faith would be delusional. The next stanza is much, much, lighter than the previous ones and if you hadn't mentioned lightening the osul I would have questioned this change. One suggestion, though, perhaps you could say "to lighten the soul" rather than "to lighten the dark soul". With all your previous imagery I believe we can gather the fact that the soul is dark, what with the previous tone of the poem, and the fact that you mention lightening it at all. Or at the least maybe you could find a better substitute for dark. Once again, I would criticize the second to last stanza, however, it seems to be the second transition towards hope rather than pure despair. Therefore the tattered teddy bear fits. Is the "with no eyes" comment supposed to signify ignorance is bliss, and the "see no evil" concept? I like the second to last line, and even the last one fits, though it seems a bit "cliche-ish".Yet, somehow, there is so much of you, and so much sophistication in this poem, that this borrowed phrase doesn't detract from your poem, but rather ennunciates your ideas. Since I've probably killed your eyes by now, I don't want to write too much more. Suffice it to say, I Love Your Poem. Your critique is only this long because I'd love to help you make it even more spectacular than it already is. | 2004-06-01 11:31:09 |
| Freeway Lemons | Jillian K Sorenson | Jillian, you have an amazing talent.You've taken the mundane, a lemon, and managed to convey love and longing, memory and the seemingly random things that triggers it. Your poem is of such high caliber that I have only one issue that might improve it. The words themselves when read have such flow and power that I have no reason to ask you to reconsider your use of diction, but taking your poem to the next level-the visual-I wonder if the commas actually add to the power, or rather, detract from the visual flow. Is it possible that some of the words can stand on their own, without the use of commas, perhaps when you mean to cause a poem or isolate a certain phrase or topic. With such talent you have quite a right to use your poetic license and ignore some of the stifling rules of grammar. I love your imagery, especially the paper doll idea, and the curves of Braille - not only do I imagine the disadvantage of the "newly blind", I also imagine soft curves, an image of unfulfilled longing. Every read has caused me to focus on something new, some different aspect of the power of lemons, and I thank you for that. | 2004-05-11 11:31:18 |
| Rainbow Blues | DeniMari Z. | I love this poem, so before I gush let me start with the minor imperfections.I think the first stanza would be more effective if you said fill, instead of "fill up".In the second to last stanza I believe the it's can be changed to its. Did you mean for it to be your-or should it be you? In the third to last stanza I have one question for you. Is the second line meant to stop the reader - or disrupt the flow? It seems a bit awkward,or rather a bit ambiguous, I can't tell if I like it or not. What really captured my attention while reading this poem was your amazing outlook on life. I love your ability to translate your feelings, and images -"surface of life" "'Life'courtesy counter", etc. You have such a grasp on language! | 2004-05-11 07:54:35 |
| Poem Title | Poet Name | Critique Given by Stefanie L Ankle | Critique Date |
Displaying Critiques 1 to 3 out of 3 Total Critiques.
If you would like to view all of Stefanie L Ankle's Poetry just Click Here.