Ed Wickliffe's E-Mail Address: ewickliffe@emailpager.com


Ed Wickliffe's Profile:
Lifetime amateur poet and serious student of the art. 'Body of work' is about 15,000 lines and many hundreds of pieces. Finally compiled them into 6 books on different themes. Some of it might be actual poetry, even(?) But who can tell? The rest should be kept from the light of day, I'm sure, as being insignificant verse or uninspired prose disguised as a poem. But then, who can say everything they write is a gem? Just be glad when a real one happens sometimes. I enjoy 'learning by critiquing'. Happy writing, everyone!

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Displaying Critiques 1 to 2 out of 2 Total Critiques.

Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by Ed WickliffeCritique Date
Windmarilyn terwillegerMarilyn, Pretty good one, I'd say! Most critiques are only opinion. And most opinion's uneducated guesswork. Here's a few ideas along those same lines. --Would wind play "among reeds" (it has an oriental as well as musical connotation) better than playing musically (tough word syllabically)? Would "symphony" (rhyme/resonance) work better than orchestra? So that-- Wind plays among reeds like violin's symphony serenades the trees. That probably changes the whole sense of your poem? Never mind, then. --And some "historical" notes if you're interested. (I've studied Japanese forms a little.) Before modern haiku, there came older renga and haikai-renga forms, which contained the basic haiku and tanka forms we know today. I prefer the older forms because they're more challenging to write (they have many symbolic "rules" and they can use "linked" stanzas, for example, to tell a story, usually royal or mythical, ...or they use their links to connect philosophical ideas, like a stanza on frost connects to a stanza on dew, etc.) Linked poems like that run on to a hundred stanzas typically (or only 36 in the case of the great Basho). They were written rapidly, in hours, by two to four poets, each taking his turn to add the next stanza. Interesting, I think. Haiku only looks simple. In old Japan, one sage (I don't remember who) said an apprentice is ready to begin writing it after twenty years of practice. He was refering to more than haikus alone, but that's the idea. Anyway, I've written some linked poems in the older tradition, but without all the rules of symbol. It taught me that haiku's not rhythmic, maybe not even lyrical. It's so hyper-condensed that it gave rise to the Imagist school of poetry (through Ezra Pound and others in early 1900s). The Imagist school flourished briefly, but had a major impact on later 20th cent. Euro-Amer. poetry. In fact, it's my (educated?) "opinion" that today's obsession with clarity, metaphor, and brevity goes directly to the Imagists, and hence to the original Japanese styles. Which says what? --That we could all benefit artistically by writing more haiku (and tanka), probably. -- Or at least we should work it enough to understand what the form can and cannot do. Good luck! Ed 2003-08-18 15:40:59
Autumn (haiku)marilyn terwillegerCoupla ideas, or a few ...One, drop the (haiku) in title. It's like saying your poem's a sonnet. Poets are supposed to recognize traditional forms without being told. If someone doesn't recognize a haiku, that's his/her problem, not yours. Two, autumn and harvest are redundant terms. Could you find another word in that five syllable line? Sunshine and beam are close to being likewise redundant. Three, moons reflect rather than radiate. Are you sure that's the word you want? Four (this one's picky-picky), echo (sound) and radiate (non-sound, presumably) are incompatible verbs in your metaphor. Poem might feel stronger if the action words maintained the metaphor. Just ideas, as always. Generally a nice poem. Liked it, thanks! (It's true to the syllabic form, with seasonal reference, etc.) 2003-08-17 18:11:18
Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by Ed WickliffeCritique Date

Displaying Critiques 1 to 2 out of 2 Total Critiques.

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