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George L White's E-Mail Address: georgewriter@hotmail.com

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New and uncertain, willing and excited. Ahhhh life is showing up.

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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that George L White has given on The Poetic Link.
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Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

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Displaying Critiques 1 to 4 out of 4 Total Critiques.

Poem Title Poet Name Critique Given by George L White Critique Date
MY VIEWS AND PHILOSPHY cedric napti walters Hi Cedric, First, I love your example of courage in writing this piece. So many would shy away from saying exactly were they are, especially in public! Secondly; As I look at your piece I am wondering about the title. There seems to be either something missing in the title, or a couple of extras in the piece. I hear some of your views, some of your philosophy and a couple of, what I would call, your judgments; •America sees everything in black and white. •The most important quality in a person is loyalty. It may seem a subtle distinction, however, I believe views and philosophies differ from judgments, in that the first two are what you believe to be so, observations, and considerations while judgments are more related to rulings and decisions as in ‘this is what’s so, the truth.’ So I guess I have used a lot of words to say a simple thing. But it seems important to the piece, to me, that either those elements of judgment be taken out of the piece or the title reflect them. Third; You might give some attention to choosing what kind of punctuation you would choose to use consistently. Fourth; I think it is a well balanced piece, giving attention to a wide variety of views etc. Thank you for sharing this. I hope this was helpful. Feel free to throw away any and all parts of it. Regards, George 2003-08-15 08:39:00
At last Sunrise Ken Dauth Hi Ken, This one stands alone well. “Still,” sets the tone immediately. It’s ending was also perfect as the vision was created in descending terms to create the last. IN general the piece made me feel like a single breath, breathing in….. breathing out. Wonderful. Possible suggestion for formatting? At last Sunrise Still, one more sunrise breaks the horizon Lifting lightly bottomed clouds and me I shift not, my head resting back Each ray is marked deserving As I outline this days end Cool air filtered to Warm me slightly And set pall Bearing Dusk Thanks, George 2003-08-14 10:39:37
Lost Cindy D. Clayton Oh Cindy! I lament with you in this suffering. It is the Dark Knight of the Soul. And you have resurrected this deathly feeling. I swear to you that I had to go get a drink of water when I read this. When I read, “He was my river” I slowed to consider who he was and where this may be going. I felt it moving to the spiritual, yet are not all things spiritual. “He was my river, but this drought has dried my spring.” Stumbled a bit on “drought has dried.” Perhaps ‘ but his absence has dried my spring.”??? If it fits for you. OK, here we go. You got me now. “I have strayed so far I am not sure how to turn back, or if anywone knows I am gone.” The line makes me want to encourage you to carry on, you are not forgotten especially by the one so important to you. But then, it’s just a poem right? Perfect, you moved me. You have successfully carried the water theme throughout the piece. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt words. Blessings, George 2003-08-14 10:23:49
HOBO JUSTICE Mark D. Kilburn Hi Mark, A song of lament for another, this “hobo justice” Who knows what they knew? Your right. They are so hard to get to know. Especially as I drive by. ‘no time to say good by hello I’ late I’m late I’m late… "Let’s watch them dance then dream ourselves a freight train and not one sadist bull for a hundred happy miles, just empty cars with every door wide open and one-hundred-thousand ghostly hobo smiles." This part is wonderful. I slowed here to catch the image, which was enough to take heart in the hear-after for the hobo and for myself. I am not quite sure where you were going with the last. I hope I didn't butcher it up too much. What I took from it was; the hobo has paid a high price just for being who he was. At least now, he desn’t have the price of being different, like an animal in a zoo pays his price, so that we may gawk and say “Oh, isn’t that something…” Thank you for the reminder of the hobo in me and at times I pay a high price for staying in my self created cage. Blessings, George 2003-08-14 09:34:53
Poem Title Poet Name Critique Given by George L White Critique Date

Displaying Critiques 1 to 4 out of 4 Total Critiques.

If you would like to view all of George L White's Poetry just Click Here.

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!

Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by George L White	Critique Date
MY VIEWS AND PHILOSPHY	cedric napti walters	Hi Cedric, First, I love your example of courage in writing this piece. So many would shy away from saying exactly were they are, especially in public! Secondly; As I look at your piece I am wondering about the title. There seems to be either something missing in the title, or a couple of extras in the piece. I hear some of your views, some of your philosophy and a couple of, what I would call, your judgments; •America sees everything in black and white. •The most important quality in a person is loyalty. It may seem a subtle distinction, however, I believe views and philosophies differ from judgments, in that the first two are what you believe to be so, observations, and considerations while judgments are more related to rulings and decisions as in ‘this is what’s so, the truth.’ So I guess I have used a lot of words to say a simple thing. But it seems important to the piece, to me, that either those elements of judgment be taken out of the piece or the title reflect them. Third; You might give some attention to choosing what kind of punctuation you would choose to use consistently. Fourth; I think it is a well balanced piece, giving attention to a wide variety of views etc. Thank you for sharing this. I hope this was helpful. Feel free to throw away any and all parts of it. Regards, George	2003-08-15 08:39:00
At last Sunrise	Ken Dauth	Hi Ken, This one stands alone well. “Still,” sets the tone immediately. It’s ending was also perfect as the vision was created in descending terms to create the last. IN general the piece made me feel like a single breath, breathing in….. breathing out. Wonderful. Possible suggestion for formatting? At last Sunrise Still, one more sunrise breaks the horizon Lifting lightly bottomed clouds and me I shift not, my head resting back Each ray is marked deserving As I outline this days end Cool air filtered to Warm me slightly And set pall Bearing Dusk Thanks, George	2003-08-14 10:39:37
Lost	Cindy D. Clayton	Oh Cindy! I lament with you in this suffering. It is the Dark Knight of the Soul. And you have resurrected this deathly feeling. I swear to you that I had to go get a drink of water when I read this. When I read, “He was my river” I slowed to consider who he was and where this may be going. I felt it moving to the spiritual, yet are not all things spiritual. “He was my river, but this drought has dried my spring.” Stumbled a bit on “drought has dried.” Perhaps ‘ but his absence has dried my spring.”??? If it fits for you. OK, here we go. You got me now. “I have strayed so far I am not sure how to turn back, or if anywone knows I am gone.” The line makes me want to encourage you to carry on, you are not forgotten especially by the one so important to you. But then, it’s just a poem right? Perfect, you moved me. You have successfully carried the water theme throughout the piece. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt words. Blessings, George	2003-08-14 10:23:49
HOBO JUSTICE	Mark D. Kilburn	Hi Mark, A song of lament for another, this “hobo justice” Who knows what they knew? Your right. They are so hard to get to know. Especially as I drive by. ‘no time to say good by hello I’ late I’m late I’m late… "Let’s watch them dance then dream ourselves a freight train and not one sadist bull for a hundred happy miles, just empty cars with every door wide open and one-hundred-thousand ghostly hobo smiles." This part is wonderful. I slowed here to catch the image, which was enough to take heart in the hear-after for the hobo and for myself. I am not quite sure where you were going with the last. I hope I didn't butcher it up too much. What I took from it was; the hobo has paid a high price just for being who he was. At least now, he desn’t have the price of being different, like an animal in a zoo pays his price, so that we may gawk and say “Oh, isn’t that something…” Thank you for the reminder of the hobo in me and at times I pay a high price for staying in my self created cage. Blessings, George	2003-08-14 09:34:53
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by George L White	Critique Date