This Poem was Submitted By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2003-10-06 15:04:37 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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For Paula

My heart spoke to me, In tongues of spiritual fire, To the very core of me. She spoke to me, Of many things, Love not last nor least. She spoke to me, Of love first seen, Love becoming trust. She spoke to me, Of eyes meeting, Holding on beyond that initial pain. She spoke to me, Of times present, past and futures entwined, By love and shared time. She spoke to me, Of colours beyond the spectrum, Of the human eye. She spoke to me,  Of passion and dare, Moving to compassion and care. She spoke to me, With lilt, truth and tone, Carved deep onto my bones. Her words softly spoken, Where they seared,  Into my brain. That I love you, And you love me, For ages long gone to times yet unseen.

Copyright © October 2003 stephen g skipper

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-11-07 22:15:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86047
Hi Stephen, What a lovely inspiration for Paula! This poem reflects the the love and intimacy you share. And it is not a swear that you love each other forever but it is God's gift for the two of you. The simplicity of the poem reinforce the magnificence of the eternal love. Like to note that your strongest love is powered up by the simplicity of your words. But the depth of it is unfathomable. "My heart spoke to me, In tongues of spiritual fire, To the very core of me." I can see that your words are deeply rooted from the heart. And it is showed here that your words are founded in spirituality. It is manifested by your phrase "tongues of spiritual fire" which connotes deep spirituality! When it is heard by a person especially Paulo, it is deep and worthy of trust. A powerful entrance! The three lines format it effective to bring out a nice feel as the readers would take the words into the heart. I'm sure Paula would consider this as a gift with no compare. It is also evident in the poem that Paulo is so magnificent that evry word she speaks turned out to be your daily food that it makes you healthy of mind and body. Every perspective of what Paula speaks for you is powerfully detailed here. I especically like the stanza: "She spoke to me, Of colours beyond the spectrum, Of the human eye." It is brought about by deep imagination. How your mind soar to high in the thoughts of Paula! I like the association of "colours beyond the spectrum", it is physically splendid. It shows that the words of Paula is majestic and full of wonder but because you are the avid observer, you have absorbed them well! I just love this. No wonder it ranks high! Looking forward to read more of your poetry. Jordan.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-10-19 00:07:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Stephen, Good to see you in print again. God's blessings. Andrea
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2003-10-16 03:07:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.70000
Stephen-- A haunting poem, and an excellent one. Poet, you seem to be taking us through a love at first sight (...of love first seen) right through lovers getting to know each other better(love becoming trust)and even a first fight(holding on beyond that initial pain). Then things get very metaphorically deep (...present, past, and futures entwined;...colours beyond the spectrum;...Carved deep onto my bones;...where hey seared, into my brain;...For ages long gone to times yet unseen). This plays like fantasy combined with a traditional relationship between a man and woman (the best of both worlds). Then again I could be so far off base--forgive me if I've understated your beautiful poem. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-10-15 18:25:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
Dear Stephen, what a great tribute to your love. In your first stanza I can tell that she deeply touched and moved you Loving someone requires trust and you say that in your third stanza. The repetative lines "She spoke to me" establish a rhythm like a song that is quite enjoyable. Your fourth stanza speaks of opening oneself up to possible hurt that comes with trusting. I like the way you have worded it. "Of times present, past and futures entwined"--this is pleasing to the ear with the rhyme of times/entwined. "Of colours beyond the spectrum, Of the human eye."--This adds a level of texure to the poem that is soultouching. "Of passion and dare, Moving to compassion and care."--When a relationship moves from sexual attraction to loving what is inside the persons inner being it is truly a special relationship that blossoms to a lasting kind of love. "With lilt, truth and tone, Carved deep onto my bones."--loving one another causes your ideas and thoughts to subtlly change as your hearts and minds become entertwined growing old together. This is nicely said here. and here: "Her words softly spoken, Where they seared, Into my brain." Your ending is sweet as well: "That I love you, And you love me, For ages long gone to times yet unseen."---You have a way of phrasing that is quite exuisite. Thanks for sharing this tribute. I bet she loved it as well. Blessings, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-10-12 20:21:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Hi Stephen, Your love for Paula comes shinning through every written word of this poem. For anyone to love and to be loved so profoundly is a great gift. She has spoken to you of many, trust, time..the present, past and future, she showed you the color of these things in a gentle loving manner..."with lilt, truth and tone carved deep into my bones" ...this is my favorite line as it lets the reader know that no matter what lies ahead or what trials and tribulations you may face you will do it together as you are bound as one by your everlasting love. I just posted a poem called "Past" which is about the death of my husband and how the mind keeps those feelings alive. So when I re-visit the past I do still feel the pain of loss but I also envision the wonderful times of our lives together. It is so heart-warming to read about your love for your wife as there is not enough of that now-a-days when divorce is so prevelant. The future has a way of taking care of itself and the more we love and the more we express that love, the easier the road ahead. I pray for peace and serenity to be part of your daily lives and hope I get to read more of your beautiful poetry. Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-10-09 04:54:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Stephen, This is one of the most beautiful, stunning and heartfelt love poem I have ever read! The words and lines surely come from the bottom and depth of your heart. Your “true” and “unwavering” love truly shines within the lines. Readers can easily comprehend and feel the sincerity and warmth of your words…touching our inner soul. “My heart spoke to me, In tongues of spiritual fire, To the very core of me.” --- Intoxicating! “She spoke to me, Of many things, Love not last nor least.” --- Starting your line with “My heart spoke to me” in your introductory stanza is appropriate and perfect! It introduces the readers on the immediate feelings your heart experienced. Succeeding the next stanzas with intro “She spoke to me” symbolizes that it is “Paula” who really awakens your heart. How her presence is such an influence and inspiration to your life…”to the very core of it”. “She spoke to me, Of love first seen, Love becoming trust.” --- I like the phrase “Love becoming trust”. “She spoke to me, Of eyes meeting, Holding on beyond that initial pain.” --- I like how the unspoken words of the “eyes” can communicate beyond the literal “talking” or “speaking”. “She spoke to me, Of times present, past and futures entwined, By love and shared time.” --- I like how the moments are woven into one. Poetically done! “She spoke to me, Of colours beyond the spectrum, Of the human eye.” --- Ah, her words are so colorful, a kaleidoscope of words. “She spoke to me, Of passion and dare, Moving to compassion and care.” --- Such strong words, yet soft and gentle! “She spoke to me, With lilt, truth and tone, Carved deep onto my bones.” --- The continuous phrase “she spoke to me” is so hypnotic! Effectively penetrating! There is wisdom in your words here! “Her words softly spoken, Where they seared, Into my brain.” --- I never thought that words can penetrate to our brain, yet you have done it fittingly right! “That I love you, And you love me, For ages long gone to times yet unseen.” --- I just rest my case…you just end and summarized everything superbly! Lyrically elegant! Kudos on your wonderful work here Stephen! “For Paula”, it is a great title and a great dedication to the one and only love you have. Surely, Paula will be very happy on the inspiring message you shared to us here. Thanks for posting it here in TPL for our enjoyment! For me, this is a winner! Unforgettable! As always, Erzahl :)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-08 10:14:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Stephen, I see this as musical lyrics since you have 'She spoke to me' starting most of your stanza's except for the first one and last two. I really enjoy pieces like this for they come from the heart and experiences untainted. The only suggestion that I have is regarding combining the last two stanza's to make your poem balanced; that way your beginning would blend with the ending. Very nicely done and enjoyed the read. Tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-10-08 09:06:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
For Paula........I hope you put together a book once your writing is completed for Paula for your heart and your souls are there within each line, together, forever, facing what has been given you both to carry. Paula with her illness, you with your caring ways and together you walk, hand in hand, facing all that has come in the middle. Faith, stronger then ever before, has brought you both here and now and will continue to be your guiding light until this has resolved......miracles happen every day of our lieves Steven and we continue to pray for the biggest miracle in your life and in Paula's. I have a friend who was diagnosed with tumors in her brain (four of them) and two sports on her lungs (both of them) and they were all cancerous......she is in remission and has been for six months now.......never give up your hopes, dreams and most important faith and trust in God ......This piece is wonderfully written, filled with love down to the core of things, deep, rich, ever lasting love.....You allow the reader into your private space can not only hear her words to you and yours to her but can see the two of you together........I thank you for posting, for taking the time to share this with us and again my prayers are with the both of safe, God Bless, Claire
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