This Poem was Submitted By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2003-11-09 16:57:41 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Watermarks

Printing... his life. Family inheritance from those long urned. Office on the thirty- eighth floor; the decor: a close view of the lake in that town with a great State Street, where you lose your blues, toddling. He avoids the print shop with its stench of ink, its smudges and drudgery. Yet his soul glows at fine- textured, personalized stationery. The tactile basso-relievo of embossed paper: a sensory rush much like his last touch of a soft palimpsest.  Unwed, his obsession with printed paper precludes interest in all save examining monograms. Some think him odd and doddery, quaint and querulous. His life is a gift to him, sated by reverential admiration for initials he created.
Copyright © November 2003 Mell W. Morris

Additional Notes:
My response to a challenge.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2004-02-03 18:48:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mell, Fantastic poem. You do know i'm terse, right? Mark

This Poem was Critiqued By: Annette L Cowling On Date: 2003-12-06 12:22:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.52174
Mell - Your poem has a kind of moody sadness to it and I think you've done an excellent job of describing the city surrounding this most interesting character in the poem. In the midst of the descriptions of the view of the lake and the print shop is a tribute of sorts for a person proud of his heritage, but realistic enough to admit what he dislikes about it and rises above it. That is my view. In enjoyed your poem, thanks for sharing. Annette
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-12-01 07:50:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57895
Printing might be his life but not one that he earned but those before him earned......he is just there and he does not get ink on his hands like his perhaps grandfather did or better yet.....his great grandfather who was in it up to his elbows.....of course, he carried the family name and perhaps was named after the grandfather's and was either a first, second third, or fourth generation thus his initials are in the watermark of this paper that he is so dam proud of......He further loves to walk the windy city of Chicago as well as sit behind his desk all day doing nothing for in his inheritance he needs not do a thing for its all been done before him.....His hands remain clean, there is no ink smudges on his fine shirts for he touches not a thing......life has dealt him one of those silver spooms and he has used it well....he has not married, he remains aloof in that manner though he has many a girl chasing him in the past and a few at present who wold love to hold his clean hand.......filthy rich clean hand.....there is a mystery here mel my friend that I have not even come close to......love the read, love the mystery, structured well, know not of the challenge for the forum I do not always venture to, great word flow, not only images are brought forth but feelings as well.....you are allowing the reader to take this and run with it and find what they might.....thanks for posting, be safe, good luck with the contest......a winner for certain. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-11-24 17:14:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.68421
Hi Mell, If this is a response to a challenge (whatever it is, I don't know), you have certainly met the challenge. Watermarks is a catchy in itself. On my first glance I can think of a mark showing the greatest height to which water has risen. But interestingly, it is a translucent design impressed on paper...thus printing...In this case you are presenting a life of a person wherein, as I literally grasped, it is his livelihood that is inherited from his ancestors. Or it could be a metaphor of living a carefree life....Is it? Just a thought! Liked the use of "long-urned". The view of of the lake in that great State is wonderful. I can picture it out though I am not familiar with that place in the US and loved the energetic implication of toddling, losing blues. This line "He avoids the print shop with its stench of ink, its smudges and drudgery." makes an interesting read with the shop/stench/smudges/drudgery sound effect. I like the wordings here: Yet his soul glows at fine- textured, personalized stationery. The tactile basso-relievo of embossed paper: a sensory rush much like his last touch of a soft palimpsest. ...original...impressive...highly eloquent...the trademard of Mell Morris. SMILE. I like the association of "palimpsest" ---of course I have a dictionary with me...it is a manuscript, typically of papyrus or parchment, that has been written on more than once, with the earlier writing incompletely erased and often legible. ....Very apt to reinforce the idea of watermarks. The last stanza is wonderfully highighted with allits... printed/paper/precludes, odd/doddery, quaint/querulous...it adds the flavor your trademark. Really really nicely done. As usual your writings are high in quality. More of your creative crafts, Mell! Jordan.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jane A Day On Date: 2003-11-20 14:38:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Mell, I love the title and love the narrative of this poem. Ilove each detail of time and space and person. But I have to say the line breaks drive me a bit batty. I love meaning in each line. The breaks at from and his. Waaah. I actually think at its heart this is a long lined poem where we sit with each unraveling. You say this was a response to a challenge. You wrote a lovely poem. Jane
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2003-11-19 22:58:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mell very tight, and full of great verbiage, as I've come to expect from you. Hope you achieved your desired goal. interesting topic. t.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2003-11-14 15:42:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Mell, I don't know who challenged you but I'm glad they did. The description of Chicago stands on it's own as a poetic statement. Your use of internal rhyme is superb. I notice you doing it more and more. It flows so effortless. It gives the read such natural accent and rhythm. "Family inheritance from those long urned." Your phrasing is signature. One reads it and says, "That's a Mell Morris." Then, into the poem. I suppose our lives are like a watermark in so much as we leave our mark and though it is written over the history is there for anyone who cares to look a little closer. I'll tell you Mell, when I finish reading one of your poems, I am different person. Rick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-11-13 16:23:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.80000
Dear Mell, This is such a nice tribute. If only I could figure out who it is for. *smile* And what the challenge was... All I can think of is it must be about a Publisher/Printer located on State in Chicago. That is about the extent of what I could ascertain. Quite a mystery you have woven into these lines, poet. I used to live in Chicago as a kid and have been out on lake Michagan when my Dad took us out in his baby cabin cruiser. I thought it was so cool because it was a lake , but you could not see the other side from the shore. It was a real bumpy ride. At the time I thought "this must be like the ocean! The name "Watermark" implies to the reader we are relating to printing in some way, since we won't get any watermarks on the thirty eighth floor. *Smile* jk Thats where the mystery/adventure starts. . Love the phrase "long-urned" meaning ancestors. Also love the music reference-"Lose your Blues, toddling" lyrics from Tony Bennet's song "Chicago" of course. What a great way to let the reader know your talkin about Chicago! Great enjambment from line 4 to 5. Nice internal rhyme with floor/decor. Wonderful assonance with Lake/State and then again with lose/ blues! Another nice rhyme-smudges/drudgery. Again more wonderful assonance with soul/glows and basso-relievo(ha! that one is great!) And then of course there's rush/much/touch! Wow Mell, as usual you are knocking my socks off with the music of this piece! I admit I had to look up the word "palimpsest". Very nice, the way that one fit right in. You amaze me! This guy sounds pretty quirky. (A good poem subject) Great Alliteration with "Printed paper precludes". Then odd/doddery and quaint/querulous to round out his personality no doubt/lol He sounds like a very interesting soul. The ending is just making me want more. This is a nice stucture with the three stanzas. OK Mell, WHO? is this? You certainly know how to spin a yarn, but please tell me who you're writing about? This is just brilliant. But, do you know how many times I read this over trying to figure out the mystery? I finally said Forget it Jen, just write a critique before it disapears down the list. Ok. I'll be quiet. Blessings, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sean Donaghy On Date: 2003-11-10 15:31:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.20000
Mell - It would be good to know the challenge (the better to judge how well it was met!) Without that information, one must respond to just the poetry and ignore the motivation. So - poetically - it works well with just a smidge of places where a toe might be stubbed. Like "..those long urned.." - sounds a bit forced, sort of like pretentious diction. (Is there such a thing as poetically pretentious diction?) Also - cute but lengthy way to say "Chicago" (but that works better than "long urned"!) All that opinionated nonsense aside, the poem does work well. You most assuredly give the reader a good picture of the subject with an interesting description of his vocation (how many people do you think will know what a "palimpset" is?) With the exceptions noted...I liked it! You managed nicely the difficult job of job- description. (That's tough to do even in the want ads!) Thanks for the effort! S.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2003-11-10 11:11:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
Mell--Great title! Very heady change-of-pace piece-smile. I found it quite entertaining and a fun read after visiting my Funk and Wagnal (thanks for the new vocabulary). This reeks of money and the good life: a heir eccentric who lives as he pleases and enjoying every second. Your background descriptors introducing the man and his world are serious details. You've shown a flair for dry wit in this unique poem (hope I didn't miss the boat). Heck of a response to your challenge, we at TPL win big time. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-11-10 08:29:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Friend/Girl, Hmmm interesting, don't know what or who the challenge is, or what it may consist of. Had to go to reference to find the orgin of the work palimpset, in your submission I take it as a summination of how glories the tactile senses are atuned to feeling finely embossed, and engraved parchments, which can cover a wide specture of possibilities, if in going though a genealogical serch of past records retained in that office overlooking the river, it is the connector between all the past, and his present endevors, mostly in relationship to family? I find the poem well written (as usual), at it spurred the brain into looking for the logic, but I'm afraid this time it's alluded me. I'm breaking a promise I made to myself that I wouldn't comment on any poems this month, and just watch the flow of the site, is there full diversity of thinking what are the best of the month, or is the voting based on the name of the poet, just a interesting question I have, the poems I voted for, rated hight in the top five, but not in the order I would have choosen. I guess it's just a way of clarification for me, noone who placed this month disappointed me, but is there there parity in the vote, or do a few swing so much weight they negate anyone elses vote. Just maybe the dispersing of voting power for individuals is titled, and we need to come up with a better voting sequence. Yep, a little disenchanted with the sytem, but it's a question that has been raised for many months. Anyway enough politics, and back to you poem, who is the challenge with, and what does it consist of, mind telling me? Love always, Jo
This Poem was Critiqued By: April Rose Ochinang Claessens On Date: 2003-11-10 03:55:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
hi. i see you have a whole bunch of vocabularies here. thats good. but poetry is not just about what words you know.i know how you feels. i do that too. but if you keep with this style, not everybody may be able to understand your poems.but i should say your use of visuals are good.keep it up.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2003-11-09 23:35:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mell: I could not pass by without commenting. I don't know what the challenge is (was) and found myself searching for a clue within the poem. Usually I dive into a poem like a snorkeler. Looking and feeling and swooshing about, photographing some, taking back some samples for closer inspection. Losing myself. This time I ended up in Lake Michigan! I began to hear music - Count Basie, Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett. . . Printing... his life. Family inheritance from those long urned. Very witty - the wordplay of earned/urned. Office on the thirty- eighth floor; the decor: a close view of the lake in that town with a great State Street, where you lose your blues, toddling. If he's on the thirty-eighth floor, "a close view of the lake" would likely be a photograph of Lake Michigan. This man is at a great remove from ordinary life, it seems. A town with a great "State Street" seems somehow universal - there's one in almost every town. But this has to be Chicago, and I am now hearing Tony Bennett in my head, singing. "Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin' town Chicago, Chicago, I'll show you around Bet your bottom dollar you'll lose the blues in Chicago" dum da dum . . . hum, and I think . . . "On State Street, that great street I just want to say They do things that they don't do on Broadway, say" Now who is this man who "avoids the print" (stays out of the paper? And the "smudges" and "drudgery" could be tabloid-like news. He avoids the print shop with its stench of ink, its smudges and drudgery. Yet his soul glows at fine- textured, personalized stationery. The tactile basso-relievo of embossed paper: a sensory rush much like his last touch of a soft palimpsest. Love this last word, "palimpsest." I found this reference to a Buddy Guy performance, using "palimpsest" as a search word: "Hs set is a palimpsest, a layered model of Chicago blues history: from industrial to postindustrial synthesis, from vocal to guitar music, from folk origins to assimilation by rock, from a form of popular culture grounded in the Black Metropolis to a museum-quality roots concert music housed in the precincts of the service-professional classes." And then. . . "epending on who's telling which fragment of this story, Chicago blues can be seen as dying or booming, rising or falling, developing or decaying. The blues is all right and the blues is not all right. It's in a distinctly bluesy condition." Carlos Rotella, Boston College Unwed, his obsession with printed paper precludes interest in all save examining monograms. Some think him odd and doddery, quaint and querulous. What a puzzlement. A wealthy man, but one who is obsessed with printed paper and "examining monograms." I keep hearing jazz, especially in "odd & doddery" and "quaint & querulous." I imagine him as having very sensitive fingertips, which might have better employed playing a trumpet. His life is a gift to him, sated by reverential admiration for initials he created. I think of Chicago as the blues capital of the US, and have heard of its Printer's Row which was a hotbed of vice before the Chicago fire. But I can't solve the puzzle. You would be utterly amazed if you knew how much I want to know! Whatever the challenge I am certain you met it. This reviewer didn't get past Tony Bennett. <grin> Still, it was a fascinating snorkeling adventure in Lake Michigan! All my best, Joanne
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