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This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-12-16 15:31:56 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Caroling

Girl scouts in wooly winter coats bobby sox, stocking hats, scarves around throats "Deck the halls with boughs of holly tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la" Tinsel, mistletoe, the lilting is jolly "We three kings of Orient are" Twinkling lights, a Christmas tree star "Joy to the world the Lord has come" Carolers on thresholds, feet so numb "Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way" Icicles drip, pearly drops splash astray "Silent night, holy night, all is calm all is bright" Sweet lassies lilting beneath shaded light Down Maine street and left on Elm to widow Chrisman's house, steamy hot chocolate, ginger snaps, nary a mouse, girl scouts talking, parrot squawking dolls in chairs, on the sofa, and the stairs Reflections of caroling hope and cheer in the wispy air of yesteryear.

Additional Notes:
Widow Chrisman always treated the caroling girl scouts. She had hundereds of dolls and naughty parrot that swore.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-01-04 10:40:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
You capture a time and place wonderfully well. The rhymes work well. Lots of detail make this a delightful piece. I especially like the last couplet. Best Rachel

This Poem was Critiqued By: Donna V Bartolazo On Date: 2003-12-30 09:22:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi there Marilyn! This is such a fantastic poem in time for the yultide seasson. It helps you reminisce or imagine you yourself as a child during this time of the year where people are busy embellishing there christmas tree. You did a magnificent picturesque of how christmas carol is in your poem. It gives you that ride back to the past where you're the child being read upon this wonderful poem of christmas carol. I say this is one of the best christmas carol I've ever read in my entire life. I really love the way each of those words are put into your poem.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-12-26 14:08:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94737
Hi Marilyn. You've given us a nostalgic tribute here that calls forth some really wonderful girlhood memories. Ah , to be a girlscout, I remember it like yesterday; singing our little hearts out in hopes of spreading enough cheer to be invited in to drink coacoa and get the feeling back in your toes. We didn't have a Widow Chrisman, but it did seem that the older couples were the ones who invariably invited us in to warm up, and gave us encouragment. You've really given us some jewels this month, haven't you, what with "Ice Daggers", "Awaken", and now "Caroling". I'd say you're on a roll! The Widow Chrisman must have been a charming chacacter with her doll collection and parrot that cursed. *smile*. The thought of her makes me chuckle. The stong imagry throughout this piece gets in the readers mind and warms right down to the toes. You start with an apt desciption of our attire when we went caroling. It's funny because back then we thought nothing of our bare legs, but now we would be covered from head to toe. Your end line rhymes of coats/throats, holly/jolly, are/star, come/numb, way/astray, bright/light and cheer/year and the asonnance sprinkled within give this piece a jovial air. The use of words like lilting, twinkling, and lassies add to that effect. The change to slant rhyme in s7 is also charming, with house/mouse, talking/squaking and chairs/stairs and the memory of ginger snaps with hot chocolate is over the top. Theres such a wonderful musical theme here, revisiting the classic carols within this piece makes me want to just sing my little heart out. Thanks for sharing this heartwarming nostalgic piece. Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: April Rose Ochinang Claessens On Date: 2003-12-19 03:20:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37500
marilyn, this is indeed a neat way of revising the christmas carols.very good. thanks for sharing it.april

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-12-17 02:58:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Marilyn, I immediately see the picture of the girl scouts marching for caroling! This is a very enlivining piece! Energetic is the atmosphere that I almost join in to "Deck the halls with boughs of holly tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la"! A very original concept you applied here with no trace of dullness. Spectacular is the imagery as I see the image with: "We three kings of Orient are" Twinkling lights, a Christmas tree star This seems to reenact the birth of our dear Lord Jesus Christ. We should all join this joyful carolers in saying: "Joy to the world the Lord has come" Carolers on thresholds, feet so numb ....and savor the tinkle of: "Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way" Icicles drip, pearly drops splash astray ------liked this line very much creating a melodic sibilant sound The finally have the last quotation which is very uplifting: "Silent night, holy night, all is calm all is bright" Sweet lassies lilting beneath shaded light I am basked with wonderment in awe of the Child Jesus! The last two lines are modernized and I like the transition of the Holy silent night on the crib to the scene in the Chrisman's house! Thanks Marilyn, I am glad you are now high-spirited, I can feel your sorrow and homesickness during holidays are now transformed into a lilting spirit! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year ahead! Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2003-12-16 23:19:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81250
Marilyn--The entire piece is very apt for this time of year. Great descriptors in stanzas #1 thru 6 painting seasonal pictures for the reader, i.e., bobby sox, stocking hats, scarves..., tinsel, mistletoe, twinkling lights, christmas tree..., carolers on thresholds. These words images/sounds in stanzas #2 thru #6 combines with the end rhymes completed from well known popular songs of cheer produces a nice musical rhythm. The widow Chrisman place is the spot to be, judging from the steamy hot chocolate, ginger snaps, girl scouts..., parrot..., dolls... In conjunction with the slant/internal rhymes of house/mouse, talking/squawking, chairs/stairs an additional subtle rhythm tone is created. The line breaks of stanza #7 also alters the rhythm and tempo, allowing the reader to experience a pause of the caroling activities by the scouts as they enjoy a warm-up/snack stop. A superb look back ending of all the fond memories of past carolings emphasized by the end rhyme cheer/yesteryear. Great nostalgic seasonal piece. Thanks for the good read and reminder. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2003-12-16 21:04:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
Hi Marilyn, I really enjoyed this poem, as it brought back good memories. I think it's particularly clever how you used the titles of the carols as an integral part of the poem. I particularly liked, "girl scouts talking, parrot squawking dolls in chairs, on the sofa, and the stairs" which had the kind of detail that made the home memorable to me, and gave the poem a reality that worked. The poem has good flow, and the imagery is bright and easy to picture. I thought the last image, the "wispy air of yesteryear" is particularly good. Thanks for sharing your memories with us, Rene

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2003-12-16 20:36:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
A very neat poem reflecting the time of year. Caroling is so beautiful, and even I (not of the Christian faith) can appreciate. That hot chocolate and ginger snaps must have been the perfect ending. Simple title which led to a nice read. Thanks for sharing.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2003-12-16 20:08:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.59091
Dear Marilyn, This is a very nostologic poem and is so sweet, with the pure innocence of girl scouts and the smells of ginger snaps and hot chocolate. I loved the way that the words of the carols matched the second line, like it is part of the song. Really really nice, gets me more into the Christmas season. Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-12-16 17:39:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Beautifully executed, the structure sings along with the carolers as each song is presented forth.......you have described within the lines what the girls are doing and that is presenting the Christmas joy to those they touch along the way.....and bless the Widow Chrisman with her dolls and parrot along with juice and cookies......a former brownie, girl scout and then leader I appreciate the honor you are bestowing upon the girls for it is usually their joy to present such joy at this time of the year. Amber, age six, and first year brownie went caroling the other night........I have yet to hear how she made out... We do not have such doings here in Tully though the nursing homes are usually filled with carolers this time of the year. Actually, after spending time with my mother in law today they have a program in which the residents volunteer to either be Santa or Mrs. Clause and the children are allowed to call and speak with them during the day and early evening.....my mother in law volunteered quite a few times and I bet she does it very well......she has a twinkle in her eye that was shining bright as she spoke. Thanks for the memories you brought forth, as always it is a pleasure to find your work. Enjoy the holiday and be safe.......I believe I am working on a poem in my broken heart at the moment for today after returning from respite time I found four hundred dollars of my Christmas money gone.........it was there when I left.....I don't know why anyone would do that to me for I am always giving to everyone........indeed I am cancelling the joy of Christmas in my heart and I know no one will return that money to me.....there were two people here when I left........sad, very very sad................ Take care, be safe and God Bless, Claire

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