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Toilet Soliloquies (Fart One) To pee, or not to pee: that is the question; Whether 'tis wise in the bladder to suffer The pains and fury of my burning pee zeppelin, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing them? To drip; to pee; and more; and by a leak to say we end The tummy-ache while watering the garden To refresh is fair and all consuming Stoutly to be fished; from the eye, to let fly; To let fly; perchance to stream; ay, but not to rub For in that stream of life what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this Lay-Z-Boy, Must give us pause during the two-minute warning That makes calamity of missing a play or bosom. For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, The oppressor's wrong, proud wife's contumely, The pangs of despised love, the law's lady The insolence from her kitchen office and the spurns This patient meritous man from the rec room takes, When she herself might her quietus make With her big bottom stealing my remote and chaise To grunt then complain t'wards my teary wife, and that the dread of something after peeing returning from the undiscover'd backyard to see my beer replaced by her tea And lose the name of Superbowl action Stop you now fair flow! Toilet in thy orisons Be any Patriot wins forgotten. |
Additional Notes:
Obviously I excuse myself for any offense taken (Janet Jackson excuse)
I hestitated to use Fart one, but I wanted to remain as true to the original version as possible. Having said that, I did shorten the last stanza...
Being a Carolina fan (for this Superbowl anyway...I change every year..so that's why I'll never be a Patriot)I had to use the last line.
This is dedicated to all Superbowl fans (both sexes) that would rather be a little uncomfortable than miss any action, including those pricey commercials.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-02-24 19:21:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
I catch the drift of this, and can excuse the title, but I think a little refining would make a big improvement - both in language and form. It appears to be a little like a spontaneous, unedited piece. I can accept the humor of it, but it kind of turned me off (pun intended) a little. I look forward to some more of your work as I can see the potential here for greater poetry. Thanks for the change of piss - I mean pace.