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This Poem was Submitted By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-02-17 17:42:16 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Closer to Far Away

Oddity of physics, the most distant galaxy from earth was found by astronomers seeking to know when stars first began to glow. The infant galaxy could not be glimpsed by potent telescopes until a rare gravitational lens nudged light tighter so it could be filmed. Now photographed: a spot ( . ) in limitless sea in a room missing ceiling or walls moving in endless expanse flowing in bankless streams. Far from a point in space too tricky for our vision, we peer through Hubble’s eyes to watch what may seen as subatomic particles by Someone c l o s e r to the scene.

Additional Notes:
The Hubble Space telescope is still at work! The discovery of a galaxy, yet to be named, inspired this poem. See http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_573897,0004.htm for details.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-02-27 20:32:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.35294
This is great, but I can't say much. I've critiqued the revision. I see little difference, except the word "be" that was left out of the 1st. Did I miss something else? I'll let my other critique speak for this one, too, regarding the possible deletion of "from earth". Best wishes.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-02-21 10:30:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56757
Your picture painting of the Hubble Space telescope brings to life the galaxie not only within our view at present time but off in the far distance where no one had seen before its existence. Superbly done my friend and your own personal attachment to the open space of time, energy and galaxies presented in the heavens shows deeply...... WOW, I have never been to such a place where one might be fortunate enough to witness while standing here on earth so many many miles away from what is being seen in space through the Hubble Space telescope and the thought of limitless sea (in the heavens above....so well done..... a room missing ceiling or walls........again with such thoughts passing through ones mind you can see this area with stars, moons, bright lights, beautiful objects floating about, and all something one would not be allowed to see without this wonderful telescope.... in limitless sea in a room missing ceiling or walls moving in endless expanse flowing in bankless streams. I like the read of the above stanza friend. Thank you for posting and if I can ever convince my husband I should go to Boston to see these wonders of our time I shall let you know.....you be safe now and God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-02-20 21:15:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.52632
Joanne--The very first thing of note in this piece is the oxymoronic title with twist/turn theme. Excellent use of metaphors to describe the complicated method used to observe this new space enigma. Unique structure of last line to reemphasize and display title. Thanks for the informative quasi- astronomy lesson(smile)and for sharing this with us at TPL. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-02-19 11:14:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.47059
I like this poem, and the fact that one can still- years after Star Trek, Star Wars, and the golden age of science fiction- be fascinated by looking outward. I too am fascinated by what we are finding out there. It is indeed the final frontier, one that it's not clear we will ever surpass in any of the ways we have before. It's also not that clear that we should, given our previous record. It is a subject that captures the imagination. It's such an interesting reference- the sentiment of getting closer. It's a gap across time and into the past, trying to explain the future. The vastness of it all is quite astounding. Your poem evoked much of this and my long standing fascination with astronomy and theoretical physics. Thanks for that. This is my favorite stanza: Now photographed: a spot ( . ) in limitless sea in a room missing ceiling or walls moving in endless expanse flowing in bankless streams. This stanza could really stand on it's own for the sentiment expressed here. Really nice series of lines. I like it because there is very little typical poetic devices used, yet it's the imagery that stands out to my mind. The other stanza's feel to me like explanations of the phenomenon that inspired you. I feel that given the quality of that stanza, the rest is a bit superfluous, but having said that I don't mean it in any negative way at all. Great job. Thanks, REEG!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-02-18 10:15:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Hi Auntie Joanne, Hmmmm....this is a poetic-scientific piece at work! It really interests me so much for it is science you speak about especifically astronomy. I would like to capitalize Physics here because it is a proper noun. Just a little comment. You are telling us here in layman's term (simplicity is appeciated greatly) the finding of the galaxy by the astronomer and it is being viewed now. It seems that you are working with NASA, huh! Or you have visited a space labo out there! There are a lot in America as far as I know. By the way, you applied a special format here which strikes the reader's attention. That is originality. Thanks for the fun read you have given us, Auntie Joanne. Blessings, Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-02-18 10:10:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Closer to Far Away Great title Oddity of physics, [the most distant galaxy from earth] perhaps: the galaxy most distant from [Earth/] [is the word Earth - when used as a planet name -not capitalized? or is the lower case a poetic device here? was found by astronomers seeking to know when stars first began to glow.[this rhyme is a little too ordinary-perhaps somethinbg like "grow?"] The infant galaxy could not be glimpsed by potent telescopes until a rare gravitational lens nudged light tighter so it could be filmed. [lovely!] Now photographed: a spot ( . ) I love the SPOT visual in limitless sea in a room missing ceiling or walls moving in endless expanse flowing in bankless streams. live the idea of "bankless streams" Far from a point in space too tricky for our vision, we peer through Hubble’s eyes [YES-GREAT} to watch what may seen as subatomic particles by Someone c l o s e r I don't understand the reason for the spacing of "closer" perhaps end with the orphan rhyme -to the scene? Remarkable poem about a remarkable event. I am sure that the astronomy people will publish this one with pride. I have not been much on the scene lately . I hope all is well with you and your family. Best Rachel

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-02-17 19:32:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Hi Joanne, I was so relieved when Nasa reversed their intention of not upkeeping the Hubble, and have now decided that maintenance is going to take place. What a loss it would have been for humankind, the Hubble provided so many visuals we knew nothing off, regardless if it as a dot in a field of similar dots, it served us well, and has much more to offer, so I'm just trying to say I'm relieved, if we can pur billions into countries right here, what a shame it would have been to sacrifice such a glorious eye..... The poem is wonderful of course, once again you capture not just a visual, but the sensation of exploration, it reads wonderfully smooth, and of course your choice of linguists, is as fresh as any new horizon the hubble may be spying right at this moment. Better I think to look through this marvelous tool, then ask those willing to take space exploration to heart that they will be on a journey they will never return from, why sacrifice man, when brilliant tools like the Hubble offer a better, more defined view, that allows may to see the results. Anyway the poem, brilliantly written, along with your grafic approach, a little bit of eploration there I think, that you've allowed yourself out of the box, and are will to presnt graphics that allow the reader a visual that your words may elude for them. Wonderful, just what I needed a topic away from the ugliness of the workings of our current world. Wish I were one of the lens of the hubble seeing with such clarity the beauty of the universe, and to also see new vistas. One of these days I'll soar like and Angel, and see for myself, meanwhile poems like this inspire my imagination, and are always welcome to take part in....great job......Love, Jo

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-02-17 18:26:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.17391
Hey- I saw this picture, too, and thought, 'HMMMM. wonder if Joanne is going to see this...?' Love this stuff. Nice work. tom

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