This Poem was Submitted By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-03-13 12:28:48 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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So What so what if
I don't know Emily Dickinson
Robert Frost
or the difference between
counting the cost
- a thanks to you
shall I bow?
- a senryu
just count how?
- or a haiku
naturally, now?
and so what if I
don't know how to break up my lines
in such a way
as to express the utter amazement
at another day
so what if I make things up
off the top of my head
and don't revise this 20 times
before I release it into the world
all feral like the cats and cars
I pass on my morning run
path
that don't come when I call
and they don't care
and neither do you
you aren't anymore,
Sylvia Plath
and so what if
that or this is true
here is my best
nothing against the rest
this is not a test
we are not here to compare
hit my chest with forceful beats
or bear a shield with silly crest
like imaginary contemporaries
of the Yeats'
so what if
I still admire
those giants with shoulders
I have my own fire
I have my own boulders |
|
Copyright © March 2004 Regis L Chapman
Additional Notes:
There is a slight nod to Miles Davis in here somewhere, in spite of the general tone of the rest of the work. I was hoping to, in the same work thumb my nose at pay tribute to, and generally be as paradoxical as possible.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2004-04-06 19:07:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.31250
I liked this rhymed, smooth flowing and interesting poem. I like the rhythm of it, the sounds of the words and the feeling that someone is being himself, thank-you-very-much! So wonderful to see someone just having his kind of fun! I like the inner rhymes, and the end-line rhymes, and the irregular placement of same. As I read I felt I was listening to someone real, and that counts. Someone told me that the word, "SO?" is the perfect answer to any negative question of statement. Seems to work here!
Rene
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-03-17 17:59:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
Really neat concept poem. Regis
so what if
I don't know Emily Dickinson
yeah so- what -[except that you miss the image of the chariot and th horses head toweard
heaven and the snake and the bell and .....
Robert Frost
and hte path and the fence and the rhythm and the light
or the difference between
counting the cost
?
- a thanks to you
shall I bow?
nah...just say thanls
- a senryu
just count how?
- or a haiku
naturally, now?
yes - well form has its function although sunction can be without form i suppose
and so what if I
don't know how to break up my lines
in such a way
as to express the utter amazement
at another day
well, I say you can ce;lebrate it your own way and halleluha anyway
so what if I make things up
off the top of my head
yeah - as long as they are as good as this poem - who cares
and don't revise this 20 times
nah
before I release it into the world
all feral like the cats and cars
great analogy for someone who is railing 'gainst form!
I pass on my morning run
[paths?]
that don't come when I call
and they don't care
and neither do you
you aren't anymore,
Sylvia Plath
nope and neither is she as a matter of fact
and so what if
that or this is true
here is my best
nothing against the rest
this is not a test
nope
we are not here to compare
hit my chest with forceful beats
or bear a shield with silly crest
like imaginary contemporaries
of the Yeats'
was there more than one famous Yeats?
so what if
I still admire
those giants with shoulders
I have my own fire
I have my own boulders
And your own sharp and accurate arrows Right on!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2004-03-13 20:41:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.30769
Regis, this is also the same thing ginsburg was getting at when he wrote the howl.He wanted to just put the poetic impulse on the page and let it hang out there raw. He later did some minor revisions to his hand written copy but it is almost the same now as it was when he first wrote it. The long stanza in the middle of the poem is the strongest as the first stanzas can be read as dismissive of poetic tradition-although when you read the whole poem you do understand that the author is not saying poetic tradition is unimportant just that it is not everything and that developing your own voice and expressing yourself is also important. I enjoyed this very much. Sandra
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia McCaslin On Date: 2004-03-13 17:24:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.46429
The ideas just pour out of you, don't they, Regis?! I laughed all the way through this, and I
really truly identify because I haven't read any of the great poets either--maybe in high school,
but I forgot. I can hear Geo. Carlin doing this, and I'm sure there are tons of young, new comedians
who could do this very well. (In fact, maybe you are one of them!) Anyway, after I read this, I
spent an hour on the internet looking up Miles Davis--so now, I see the nod, more than slight, on
your So What theme.
so what if
I don't know Emily Dickinson
Robert Frost
or the difference between
You have certainly covered the important bases, to mention the two well-knowns, Emily and Robert--
"or the difference between" really struck me funny (funny haha).
- a senryu
just count how?
- or a haiku
I had to look up senryu--but it's a PERFECT word here and in a perfect place. A not-too-willing
lit. student comes through here, but don't know for sure if that's the case. You do seem to know
what you're talking about.
and so what if I
don't know how to break up my lines
in such a way
as to express the utter amazement
at another day
The funny thing about this stanza is I don't know how either, and my lines just sort of begin someplace
and end someplace else--random comes to mind {lalugh} So I'm with you all the way. And it's so
funny, 'cause it's so true!
so what if I make things up
off the top of my head
and don't revise this 20 times
before I release it into the world
all feral like the cats and cars
I pass on my morning run
path
I know we're not supposed to copy/paste whole poems, so I'm trying to just do it in parts so as
not to break the rule BUT this is hilarious--you don't revise 20 times? before it's release into
the world all "feral" (great word like the cats and cars you pass.
Mentioning Sylvia Plath--I just barely know her, but no matter--I know she fits (& she rhymes with
path!
we are not here to compare
hit my chest with forceful beats
or bear a shield with silly crest
like imaginary contemporaries
of the Yeats'
Oh and there's Yeats with a lot of good imagery, chest-hitting, shield-bearing
Your last verse is striking in contrast--it's touching in its honesty and its acceptance.
so what if
I still admire
those giants with shoulders
I have my own fire
I have my own boulders
Because you have your own gifts and your own tools with which to make your way. You certainly have
your own fire. Thanks for a good time, a good chuckle, and a new person to listen for: Miles Davis.
Marcia McCaslin
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-03-13 14:17:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.67742
Each line has a message of its own, regardless of its length. The staccato-ness increases the strength and nose-thumbing as intended. Good work, Reeg. [I won't take this TOO personally.] :) The helter-skelter rhyming and lack of formal punctuation accent your point, as well. The truncation of "path" leads excellently down to Sylvia Plath [friend of Anne Sexton, whom I've read a lot]. You tempt/tickle the reader's ambitions by placing nearly perfect rhyming intermingled with the free style, helping all [even the advocates of formality] to comprehend and appreciate the talent that went into this excellent poem. Thanks for submitting and sharing your ideas of what poetry is so vividly. wl
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