This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-10-28 23:45:14 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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verse 62 (Scarecrow)
Lifeless sentinel
Crucified all day and night
Keeper of the field
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Copyright © October 2004 Erzahl Leo M. Espino
Additional Notes:
- Happy Halloween!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2007-04-05 15:42:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
humm, I am really impressed, so glad I happened upon these.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-11-06 14:09:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.63830
Erzahl--Can't help but make the biblical analogy. Your belief system has been
readily indicated through your posts as well as reviews. And, although metaphoric,
no mistaking this insightful comparison of (and like the "Passion") humanity's
savior/salvation. Great ability shown to vividly create terse imagery with a
paucity of words. You are the best at this Japanese Verse (if taken figuratively,
senryu and haiku, if taken literally). No matter, still a gem. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-10-29 22:22:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi E.
After reading it's easy to sumerize, a Scarecrow, boy hitting the nail on the head once again. I havn't critiqued much this month, but I just had to comment how you caught in simple words what it's like at this time of the year, I read fieds fallow right now, product has been harvested, but boy of boy, do the field attract the migrating birds and Mr, Scarecrow doesn't scare them away, He welcomes them, and the Season.
A happy halloween to you, the poem has the sensation of the season. Excellent job once agin.
Jo Mo
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-10-29 16:54:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.25532
Erzahl,
Pretty good.......you put me in the field.
And scarecrows do their job!
Happy Halloween to you.
Boo
dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2004-10-29 09:39:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86486
Erzahl, wow!! I never considered writing a specific piece for halloween, maybe I should.
I like the feeling of your first line, "lifeless sentinel", it zipped me as if looking through a retracting zoom lens from near the scarecrow to seeing the whole field with the scarecrow seated alone. The "keeper", the purveyor, the guardian, yet lifeless. Such a stark irony.
I had to let go of "presumptions" before I could relate to your second line. crucifixion is a punishment and the scarecrow has done nothing wrong, yet is, in fact, a crucified entity. I decided that was the "Halloween" effect you were after, that of punishment by the "evil" if you will, even though he was an innocent, or.... at least we think he is!!
Finally the "keeper of the field", how splendid to take the previous macabre description and then attribute nobility to his task. You didn't say overseer, or guard, you said keeper. in "keeper", we see the life and growth of the field dependent on the success of a "lifeless sentinel". A great turn in events, nobility, without a doubt.
great verse!!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2004-10-29 08:57:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Erzahl, wow, I like this one tremendously. The sence of sacrifice and vigilence comes through clearly. It of cource can also be read more lightly as entertainment for the season. Sandra
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-29 01:19:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.65574
This is different Erzahl.
I kept reaching for religious undertones, but I don't think you meant there to be any. Please tell me that I'm right (smile).
This is nice and fitting for Halloween, and at the same time, it's not too heavy or mystic or dark (all of the things normally associated with Halloween).
Actually, I pictured the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz while reading this. Guess you can tell I'm not too big on Halloween, but it's all in good spirit - your poem.
I think the first line, the first two words "lifeless sentinel" sets a serious and telling tone/theme for the poem. we get a feel that something serious, something meaningful and illustrative will follow, and it does.
"Crucified all day and night"
Crucified is such a strong word to begin a line with, but I LOVE IT.
Actually, whether you meant it or not, this poem has religious undertones.
It reminds me of how many pastors preach the real meaning behind Halloween, and how we often allow our kids to celebrate it "without knowing" what the holiday is based on: ghouls, goblins, witches and ghosts.
The fact that you would begin your second line with "crucified all day and night"
just take me to Jesus Christ on the cross and how He died for the sins of the world.
This is simply awesome for me. Such an awesome connection to make in just the few lines of a haiku, and that is what makes these poems so special, and it's also what makes those who write them extremely gifted and talented.
You have taken something like Halloween and the Sacrifice of Christ and brought them into play (whether you intended to or not).
To end with . . .
"Keeper of the field"
continues the metaphor of Christ. He's the keeper of the world for those who follow him.
I can't tell you how much I'm beaming after reading this, but I hope my words give you some clue. I think it's fantastic that you have written and shared this at TPL. Poetry is phenomenal in every way, and you're an awesome poet with words like this to share. Do continue on.
Latorial
www.latorialfaison.com
Keeper of the field
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