This Poem was Submitted By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-12-11 00:29:11 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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let me  be and I'll  be  myself while  watching you be  someone  else I'll pray let's pray for new  words to say our styles new trials and individuality

Copyright © December 2004 Latorial D. Faison

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-01-07 14:15:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
I like the simplicity of this piece. Line for line it bodes well. I have always ascribed to individuality even in marriage (which gets me into trouble at times). Kahlil Gibran says it best in one piece on marriage. Being an "individual" is hard esp. for women because if they marry most of them take on the husband's name therefore losing that piece of individuality. Did you know that in the Province of Quebec a woman must keep her maiden name? Good stuff Latorial. Thanks for the read.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2005-01-07 11:55:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Latorial: Your poem perches on the page, twenty-eight words in re indivuality. You have achieved that with format and with stated intent to another person. "let me be and I'll be" is the phrase which grabs me by the hand and grips tightly. The "let me be" implies to this reader that the other has some influence over what you will (or not) be, and watching him/her be someone else is a natural state of wisdom and individuality. This could be a conversation between two friends, a simplistic exchange or it could imply deeper waters. I'm taking the deeper waters path. Your gift for rhyme makes this piece work as well as the format, unique ideas, or like something our of the old movies: "I know! Let's put on a show!" Let us become neologists. "I'll pray and let us pray for new words to say our styles new trials and individuality." This is brilliant. This resonates with me; reminiscent of someone who has had to battle for their freedom, whether small steps to have others accept you as you are, to pull someone else to your level...sundry notions are suggested herein and I find that poet plays her cards close to her chest, it's enchanting to allow the reader to surmise the import as we will. In the nearly-five years I've been here, it is quite rare to find a poem which so reflects my ideas, gets me excited in the way of a child with a new toy, and realize I'm in the hands of a poet who will do with me what she will for I have bought into her premise and epiphany. Standing ovation! Mell Morris
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-01-03 15:49:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Latorial: I always enjoy your direct, fresh approach in poetry. Your unique voice *is* unique, and you invite readers to explore their own individuality while appreciating your own need for yours. I can identify with a poem like this, since freedom of expression and to be who I am are of the greatest importance to me. I want that same freedom for everyone, and hope that I promote it in my behavior. I love the ways this poem pours down the page, with its own momentum and energy. It is easy to allow one's eyes to flow with your words, and remember the beauty of "our styles" and the needful prayers to accept "new trials" and "individuality" for ourselves and others. Wonderful energy and sparkling vitality make this a winner in my book! Kudos! My best to you, and for the New Year, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Monica ONeill On Date: 2004-12-20 15:38:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Long live individuality and the right to be ourselves. And yes, let's pray for the ability to always be able to create new words, appreciate those created by others..and let us relish our differences. Simple yet elegant, packed with meaning in so few words. Like the free form..very individual...good on you... Have a great holiday... Moni
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-12-16 11:08:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
You mention prayer and it sounds like a prayer and as always your individuality comes through, short and sweet, Thanks for letting me read and comment.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-12-15 18:16:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Latorial, I as you want to be me and thee be thee. What a nice world this could be. Lifetimes are spent with this refrain. I sometimes wonder if we know who we are..... Do we know what we be? My best to you, Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-12-11 13:13:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Latorial–Finally, you’ve returned! It’s good to see you put some priorities in order-smile. But, enough chit chat, let's get to your offering. IMO, this is an excellent little rhyming ditty with a sage message. And, it’s done without insult or/preaching, yet firm and direct. I like the arrangement/look of the piece as well: it allows a free spiraling read leading to repeat of theme/title, which enhances the sense of seriousness and finality. Thanks for sharing your concise effort. TLW
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