This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-12-13 12:48:41 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Jack Frost

Healing fingers of dawn crept in chasing the last quoins of night radiant convex gleams of light strewed the shadows, fanlike. Much to my delight Jack Frost, the sprite, be-jeweled my windowpane wielding his brush of brilliant ice. Frosty petals and snowflakes etched beside the sash, inside the frame. Glittering silver in angelic light a masterpiece engraved in white. Jack Frost's icy bristles made my awakening glow, my spirit soar, and my restless heart take flight.

Copyright © December 2004 marilyn terwilleger

Additional Notes:
No paticular rhyme scheme in this little ditty.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-01-07 18:05:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
Marilyn, This is quite nice. I feel I relate to you.[?] Something so taken for granted by most is acknowledged and appreciated. I didn't read this earlier as the title seemed too child like cute. A person as a frost maker. What would his name be in another language? That would add some mystery....intrigue.....class. But upon reading I feel your spirit. And it is good! I know when my spirit soars and this is most godly. Like a prayer of thanksgiving. For the beauty of this world. and more....... So nice, Dellena


This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-01-06 23:56:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Marilyn, What a grand poem for the season. I spent an hour shoveling snow this morning in N. Chicago, so I could certainly appreciate your idea of Jack Frost, probably for the first time in my life or in a long time. Healing fingers of dawn . . . I love that you fill the poem with personification. You tinge on an aspect of life that has become commercial, yet you keep your poem grounded and warm, interesting and fun. Thanks for sharing another creatively done piece with us. Latorial
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2005-01-03 14:57:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.18750
always nice to wake up on a winters morning to see the handiwork of jack the artisan especially back lite by the mornings sun, thanks for letting me read and comment.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-12-31 00:29:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Maybe no particular rhyme, and a poem you might consider a little ditty, however to my thinking Jack Frost at his best in the charming glittering world once rights shadows have withdrawn. Every bit the bespectled world you sensationlize my recollects to, and as I said so charming in it projection. More then a winner in my book, found myself humming Jack Frost nipping at my toes, it has a wonderful feel created here, and so fitting to the season......... Keep well Marilyn and the most Blessed 2005.....Love Jo Mo Needless to say I don't feel it necessary to rectify any of your presentation, expecially the wonderful fitting lyrics of the self proclaimed little ditty. Love, Jo Mo
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2004-12-16 17:01:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, I have an affinity for the dawning of the day, and all it holds. This endears me to that moment when you begin, and I dream. “Healing fingers of dawn crept in chasing the last quoins of night (groans?) radiant convex gleams of light strewed the shadows, fanlike” – I can see the visual, the breaking through the apertures, the colors spreading like a peacocks feathers against the sky. Wonderful visuals, wonderful. “Much to my delight Jack Frost, the sprite, be-jeweled my windowpane – “jack frost the sprite” original and magical. wielding his brush of brilliant ice. –“Brush of brilliant Ice” once again refreshingly new Frosty petals and snowflakes etched beside the sash, inside the frame” – Etched, into the glass, as a beautiful layout, once again, new a fresh, this entire stanza should be “etched” onto a Crystal Christmas ornament and read daily. Glittering silver in angelic light – I see the sunlight, angelic touch, wonderful parallel. a masterpiece engraved in white. – of course, a masterpiece needs a master workman. Jack Frost's icy bristles made my awakening glow, my spirit soar, and my restless heart take flight – How you accomplished this with me. This is a voting list piece, and one of the best, most refreshing seasonal poems I have ever read. BRAVO!!, wish I could hear you read it.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-12-15 10:37:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn--As one who really doesn't care for any temperature below 65 degrees, I did find your "little ditty" pleasant. Although I did not linger and study 'frost' up close, I do recall many unique, brilliant (diamond like) and some- times mosaic affects (colors/shapes), depending on the surfaces it covered. In this simple poem (almost a tribute) you've employed parts of speech which turns a fairly normal seasonal naturesque scene into a captivating one. Your randomness/placement of rimes enhances read because they are unexpected. This kaleidoscope of "Jack Frost" you've presented is cute, light and warm. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2004-12-13 16:20:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn: The brutal critiques of Mell Morris have caused the wondrous poet, M. Terwilleger, to add disclaimers to her every poem. Actually, this is the best meter I've seen you write, with or without my brutality, as it tends to be tetrameter in all but six lines. Lends a nice cadence to the piece. And no particular rhyme is true but it sounds sweet when it occurs. Even slant rhymes are pleasing such as pane/frame. "Healing fingers of dawn" is very nice, especially if the night is ill but it appears the light is chasing those naughty coigns (quoins). But since the coigns (quoins) are angled or cornered, I wonder why you need convex (round, circular) gleams of light to bestrow the shadows. Dear Marilyn, I hope I have you laughing by now as you can see I need a lilac bath, candles burning, and a glass of chardonnay...if there is to be a cure for Ms. Morris. You do well with that no-good, imp named FROST just as you did with his cousin Fred. It's difficult to envision his using a brush to put the imagery on your window but etch is perfect. Stanza 2, last 4 lines overflows with sibilance. Eight words with the Sssssssss sound. Lovely touch, girl. The only thing that scratched me (beside the dreaded coigns of night convexed and perplexed by the light) was the last stanza, 4th line wherein the word "soar" seems out of place as every other end word rhymes. The word makes a bounce off glow with the long O... or... "awakening glow, my spirit alack till my restless heart takes a flight with Jack." I think it's picturing you in the fur bikini that made me think of the imp's enticing you. In all fun and good-faith humor, you do create some lovely images of a silvery winter landscape of jewelled windowpane, frosty petals and snowflakes etched beside the sash, inside the frame. Very enchanting as only you can do. It is sunny bright here, in the upper 60's, but it would be nice to see the imagery you've created herein. That's always been your strongest point, Marilyn, outlining those Wyoming scenes we only can imaqgine. I enjoyed this very much and I think it shows. Best wishes always, Mell
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