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This Poem was Submitted By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-12-27 12:25:18 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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untitled

Immense pebble hurled Into the Bay of Bengal Disrupts creation

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-01-05 15:37:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86957
You really do hate me don't you?

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lynda G Smith On Date: 2005-01-03 21:57:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Rachel, Beyond criteria which are so well met, this touches a chord within all of us. How could it not! You have used the haiku to great effect for in the rythyms which find echoes in waves, there is a silent understanding, comprehension and even an aprehension... Natural laws of physics are emotionless and yet they pull from us the strongest reactions. This is more an acknowledgement than a critique... so do what you will. I have been perusing some Nietzsche this week and your haiku brought it back to the surface... "The most spiritual human beings, assuming they are the most courageous, also experience by far the most painful tragedies: but it is precisely for this reason that they honor life, because it brings against them its most formidable weapons." Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), German philosopher. Twilight of the Idols, "Expeditions of an Untimely Man," aph. 17 (1889). take care... Lynda

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2005-01-03 15:27:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.18750
You know I can't use the word hurled in poems any more because my wife says it reminds her of vomiting, your poem of course does not suggest that at all but reminds me bof the asteroid that may have end the dinosaurs time on earth of course I remmeber two of the theory of the death star that may cause periodic mass extinctions on earth I haven't read anything on that in a few years I'll have to check how that stands up to scienitific scrutiny nowadays, well thanks for making me think about that I always like to haiku back a haiku lets see: hellaciously rocked earthy bell rung out the time ends are shaken mean Oh well thats my feeble attempt

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-12-30 16:49:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.34783
Roni, Very thoughtful poem. It lets the mind imagine the terror of creation disrupted. That means it becomes most personal. I like thinking my thoughts instead of others, at times. [like theirs imposed on mine][them telling me how to think, feel, act, be!] Everything everyone does affects the others. [disrupting creation][or aiding creation!/ass you do] Very important, timely, and a most contemplative poem. You got my approval..... great job! dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jane A Day On Date: 2004-12-30 11:40:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I like the paradoxes of this poem--the small and the grand- the understated.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2004-12-28 17:01:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Such a heartrending situation. I looked up the map of the earthquakes tsunami, and indeed it was as if a huge pebble had been thrown into the ocean. These ripples at 500 MPH, changed the lives a millions, and took the lives of so many thousands. You capture well, the feeling of despair. I read recently that the fertile ash of Mt. Etna keeps the Sicilians living nearby, but always they glance over their shoulders in distrust. Those lost will only be recalled by those who remain, and those who remain will ever be looking over their shoulder. I fear healing will only come with another generation. Creation, is such a powerful word, and it is precisely what those who have survived the aquas holocaust need the most. Let us hope that the tourists are not also looking over their shoulder, the means of survival becomes more bleak with the departure of foreign means. Thank you for sharing this, I must say, it has been most on my mind and soul these last days.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-12-27 21:21:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Rachel, Yes, this is very "timely" and shockingly "true"! You captured it all in your short format and simple words. Yes, with the current calamity that struck the Indian Sea countries...this is a vivid picture and interpretation of that harsh moment. I could not add more on it. Thanks for the share...we could pray strength and acceptance for the victims who had lost and died a loved ones. As always, Erzahl

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2004-12-27 15:45:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
R. Trying to grasp the enormity of this deluge has left me mute. But you, you found the truth of the matter, framed it correctly in Haiku, and had the wisdom to leave it untitled. Only Rachel. Rick

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