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This Poem was Submitted By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2004-12-31 09:56:05 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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New Year's Eve

He took another swig and felt the burn down his throat and out The warmth suffused through every vein and capillary Now the rain wasn’t as cold The dark was friendly and sleep was welcoming Death speaks It comes in colors and tastes good Death seduces with comforting warmth that slowly numbs Death succeeds when self pity and isolation rule He took another swig and felt the burn down his throat and out The warmth suffused through every vein and capillary

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-01-05 13:04:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Kenneth--Your title caught me completely off guard. Due to the season, I was expecting some joyful and celebrating descriptors of revelry and such. This is a somber but realistic piece: I immediately thought of the homeless and people that have a drinking problem. The three stanzas depicting "Death" many faces is quite creative in its vivid imagery. The repeat of the first and last strophe reemphasis the theme/tone of this piece and gives a sense of finality to the melancholic read. Thanks for portraying another side of this festive season. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2005-01-04 13:29:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ken, a well versed ode to the alanon believers. The erratic structure, and the repetition of the "coda" of the participant in the first and last stanzas are also well done. The personification of "Death", and its ability to "seduce" and "suceed" are dark and honest. "Noche Oscura", or the Dark Night of the Soul is seldom written of, but always nearby in reality. Some pleasant siblances, sssss, but all in all quick and to the point verbiage, looking thru the eyes of the driven addict with free will and free verse recording the vignette as it unfolds upon itself. Introspective, honest, almost confessional, and a real life snapshot. I applaud the effort, thanks for the read. Peace, Paul

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2005-01-04 12:47:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.14286
This is a poem that really grabbed me and feel every line, I found it to be a very powerful piece Thanks for a very good read and for letting me comment.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-01-02 17:11:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.39286
Kenneth, Truly alcohol kills. actually poisen. not only the body/but the spirit/as does drugs. Death speaks It comes in colors and tastes good Death seduces with comforting warmth that slowly numbs Death succeeds when self pity and isolation rule [yes/good-written with emphasis] The shame being that it was ever invented. And not illegal. It's a law to wear a seat belt cause you may get hurt! But wheres the caution with alcohol? In olden days they used heroin to releive alcohol addiction. Better someone quiet than someone mean and rowdy! they didn't realize the deadly effects. Why is life so difficult we need escape? Your poem is important and factual and so sad.....for this is how we begin another year... repeat/repeat/repeat. Thanks for this poem... Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Gerard A Geiger On Date: 2005-01-01 07:52:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Kenneth: A hauntingly succinct picture of a lonely soul caught in the throes of alcoholism. The drug rules rhe man... Concise and chilling in its simple truth. Very well executed. Thanks for sharing this important work.. Gerard

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-12-31 20:05:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Wow Kenneth, stated as to what alcohol does, it defuses the pain, even the drink burns as it swallowed, but it numbs temporatily, however as you've written it's a killer, to the boy and to the spirit. Yet reality exists, there are some that look to be numb, and slowly, so very slowly iys's incipient, it robs life completetly, it's to bad that drinking numb, giving temporary relief from the reality of life. Stated with a clarity, in language that is acceptable from mass understanding. Kenneth I hope you're surrounding this night with love from loved one. One hates a lecture but the is a slow killer, and it's a shame, for everyone has value, and all self respect for self and for others feels so darn good without the numbing effects of drink. Excellent joy, wonderful projection and format well suscribed...Thanks, the Best of New Years ever.....Jo Mo

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jane A Day On Date: 2004-12-31 11:37:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Ken, So, good to see you still writing. I love this stanza Death speaks It comes in colors and tastes good I think this could be its own poem. I like the way you are working with structure in your poem. Jane

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2004-12-31 11:37:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Kenneth, there is the outlook, and then there is the outlook. Not an uplifting poem, but certainly a powerful one. I think, with the revelers, I have seen that side, and with this poem, I recognize the other, intimately. I guess, mayb this year, I’m a bit in between New Year's Eve He took another swig and felt the burn down his throat and out The warmth suffused through every vein and capillary – I like the use of the word “suffused”. It is almost a spiritual word, and the “every vein and capillary” includes the network that makes up the brain and heart, or wherever else the “soul” may abide. Your twisting “burn” to “warmth” speaks directly to the “need” for intoxication. Now the rain wasn’t as cold The dark was friendly and sleep was welcoming – Your transitions are quite visual, even though the mood shifts, or perspective shifts are not. You take the mind and place it in a tactile place, where we feel, as he/she feels, the relief of pain. (Death speaks It comes in colors and tastes good Death seduces with comforting warmth that slowly numbs) – The numbing, the relief, is akin to death, the death where loss of hope is extinguished, or if not extinguished, certainly the demoralization becomes almost a pleasure, for release, even for a saddened soul, remains, relief. “Comforting warmth”, or the discomfort of cold, transitions. Death succeeds when self pity and isolation rule – One wonder when the pity for others is a time honored right, but the pity for oneself is such a riotous act. Then the self pity, leads to isolation, the crux is in your words. Only in isolation can self pity be truly applied. He took another swig and felt the burn down his throat and out The warmth suffused through every vein and capillary – And you end, where you began, and the anesthesia becomes a deeper reign, for what must be reined in. It might be said, in retrospect, that it is very possible that in this world, or any world, for some of us, it may have been this very cycle that kept us from Death, to live again. It might be said, maybe.

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