Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

This Poem was Submitted By: charles r pitts On Date: 2005-09-10 10:12:30 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

hope

delicate flower savory with the promise of new tomorrows

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jillian K Sorenson On Date: 2005-10-02 16:45:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56250
Simple effective Haiku, but leaves me a bit dis-satisfied. Yes it's about nature and the metaphor is nice, but I kind of feel like I've seen this metaphor before. However, structure is excellent and this is a well-crafted piece. I guess I've come to expect more suprising poems from you (that's a good thing).

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-09-29 16:36:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Charlie, Lovely haiku! delicate flower.....I think the word 'delicate' is a lovely way to describe a flower...but in some cases their beauty far out shines that word. I have seen some that are so different and breath taking that if I tried to describe them I couldn't...awful thing for a poet to say! savory with the promise....spring flowers always hold promise for me. I can't wait to see them come up in my garden and I am always sad when they wither in the summer sun and are gone. The summer flowers are pretty, as well, but they don't hold the promise of the spring flowers. of new tomorrow.........yes, that is what I mean...it is the spring flowers that give us a sense that a new tomorrow is just over the horizan. Well written...speaks volumes that are not written and that is what makes haiku such a challange...and you have done that. Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-09-24 18:12:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Charles, this verse matches your amplifiers. Delicate is the substance, and hope is the reason. delicate flower – choosing this image places us in a place that “beauty” alone does not take us. You chose to add the image of “vulnerable” to the matters of “beauty”. This prepares us for the need for hope, Kentucky Blue Grass needs little to survive, this delicate flower takes “care”. savory with the promise – although hope was instinctively inserted in the first line by using “delicate” it is thrust upon us in the second. “Savory” adds the scent, the aroma of the “delicate” flower, but also the metaphor for the promise, that it can be “sensed” if one is to look for it, admonish the wait, but honor the flower. of new tomorrows – I appreciate this line because although “sorrow” is instinctive throughout the verse, so is “joy” and you place us waiting on the “new” tomorrows without making a distinction. Love is like that. It is delicate, and if you don’t risk “tomorrows” you will never find the fertility of the soul. An excellent piece Charles, very endearing.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-09-13 01:34:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
HI Charles, A commendable haiku, with a strong theme and effective projection. Indeed, the sense resonating from this one is filled with hope and there isn't a better way to depict it than through a flower. 'Savory' is a perfectly chosen word...it just sounds good off the tongue. It's been a busy time for you it seems...cinquains, haikus...you rose to the challenge! Take care, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-09-10 22:43:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Charles, Very well crafted perfect count haiku, this form seems suited to you. You didn't need a title, your haiku says it all and very well......upon contemplation it actually says so much more. However, I like you have been know to title my haikus even though I've been told that "old school" says we arent' suppose to title them *smile*. I really liked this one only wish I had written it. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-09-10 17:57:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Charles, very nice, uplifting! Youth is full of hope and promise for better tomorrows. Although I wouldn't want to be a youth today. Too rich for my blood. We've done great spoiling our children and them theirs. I'm a bit worried of this worlds future. I wonder at the delicacy of the flower? But I always HOPE for the best. Good job/like it. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-09-10 13:32:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Charles--Another type poem that peak my interest: conciseness with poignant imagery. Your Japanese Verse (haiku) is a sanguine and up- lifting piece done with a sparsity of words, belying the well thought- out effort. Great gear switching from your latest cinquains. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-09-10 12:14:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
I was expecting the same format as "love" and was surprised by this. I had a bit of trouble deciding if "delicate" was two or three syllables and so succombed to you because it works well. I guess flowers are a form of hope esp. in the spring. So, your title is fitting. Thanks for this.

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!