This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-09-25 14:01:16 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Another War

Time after time he bolted upright in bed, still asleep, and shouted orders to his men. "Take cover" "Prepare to fire" "Take that hill" "They're coming" In his thousand yard stare he had visions of war, carnage, suffering, and Hell.  His emotional turmoil a result of killing and facing the fear of his own death sentence. Buried deep in his subconscious lived a mind-field of stimulants that shattered the line between sanity and madness.  War re-defines our moral fiber, polluting the mind with a deadly infection, our inhumanity to man. He came home with two purple hearts, a bronze and silver star.  But he did come home. On his death bed he whispered to me, "I won't go to heaven because I have committed murder." The war?  Korea The soldier?  My husband
Copyright © September 2005 marilyn terwilleger

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jillian K Sorenson On Date: 2005-10-05 01:46:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60714
A very sad tribute to this heroic man who lived guiltily for the rest of his life. It's an excellently structured poem that almost doesn't need the last couplet, but it is good anyways with it. I feel this is a personal piece (or at least it reads like one, so if it is fiction you've done an excellent job) so I will not comment further. Nicely done.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-10-01 07:51:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95652
Hi Marilyn, This was a very touching and personal piece...one that captures painful memories of the suffering of your husband and of yours in witnessing the horrendous effects war has on all of us.....especially those who were first hand witnesses. It's poems such as these that need to be bold-printed, magnified and rubbed in the face of those who just don't get it. 'In his thousand yard stare he had visions of war, carnage, suffering, and Hell.' These lines struck me most - a 'thousand yard stare'. This reflects the shock and the awe that the perils of war leave...when its all over. Stark. 'On his death bed he whispered to me, "I won't go to heaven because I have committed murder."' This must have been most painful for you. And it is sad that innocent humans must serve as pawns for larger political interests....those on the offensive and defensive. In a time where the world is grappling with the war in iraq and fresh from the offensive in afghanistan, this poem stands out in its social relevance on a general and personal level...and it is the personalistaion of it that makes its effect a lot sharper. I've had a change in job responsibilities back here...a little more now. But no, that doesn't mean I'll be cutting back my time here...I'm just trying to get a footing of the new work and then I'll be back again in full swing. Take care, Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Gerard A Geiger On Date: 2005-09-28 11:11:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Dear Marilyn; Thank you for this heartfelt tribute to your husband...Not a murderer, but a sensitive conscience stricken man, suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome. He is a hero. He was asked to do what no young man should be asked to do...but is often necessary to ensure the freedoms of all... Later in life, the actions of our youth take on more meaning as we mature and realize the gravity of actions which we took lightly in our full power and bravado... I often think What did Christopher Columbus and Cortez thinklater in life when the gravity of the genocide they started finally dawned on them... Marilyn, Your Husband is a HERO...and your poem is a testament to the nature of the additional service he gave throughout his life....bearing the mental scars of battle which were quite debilitating to his rest and well-being.....truly above and beyond the call of duty. Thanks again for sharing this fine piece.. Always your friend, Gerard
This Poem was Critiqued By: Troy D Skroch On Date: 2005-09-27 21:50:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MT, Thank you for sharing this. I had a friend who took his life after Desert Storm who felt the same way in a different sense. He didn't believe in heaven, but did believe that he had committed a crime against life. Nothing I could say made him feel better about it and the nerve gas poisoning that he suffered from only heightened his depression. From what I know of the Bible, the father, the leader or king, is more liable in the eyes of the lord than the soldier that takes orders. God didn't pass down a rank and file, because he didn't see the eventuality of things like wars. Also, you know that there was much warfare in the Bible. I'm sure that your husband saved more lives, by keeping the North out than he ever took in combat. And, it takes two to fight, both know the "deal." In my mind, I'm certain your husband was not condemned for his taking part in Korea. If he didn't make peace with himself before he died, I bet he had a happy surprise to find out that he was wrong on the other side. Your writing is deeply personal and I respect that. Your take on war is exactly right. And I'm getting really tired with the management of this country and the war we are in right now. And I'm a veteran of Desert Storm, but it's just so pointless and hurtful. Heartfelt and excellent writing, take care, T
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-09-25 21:21:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Dear Marilyn, This is a very intense piece, very emotional evoking a deep sadness in me. My father was in the Korean war, a medic, and almost lost his life there. The imagery here is great, especially like the line: his thousand yard stare - as if all peripheral vision was gone and his eyes saw miles and years away. In his mind the events never fading, just reminders on occasion of reliving the trauma, a bit like Post Traumatic Stress, and those of us who have never seen war firsthand, can only imagine the depth of those feelings. I enjoyed this piece regardless of the sad content, you have lifted him up, and I believe he was forgiven a long time ago by God, for what he did during the war. The times of violence and war prevail here on Earth - what a wonderful honor you have given your late husband in writing this. God Bless, DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-09-25 20:02:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86364
Marilyn, This is so true. Our government doesn't even care about a soldiers soul. And if you avoided the draft you'd be jailed. These young kids they get right out of high school are expendable. Most wars we fight are based more on money than human rights. We are fed soooooooo many lies. The soldiers that survive are damaged in their hearts having to live with their ordered acts. To rebel your court martialed. It's a no win for them. I'm so sorry you had to have that cloud to deal with. I believe in justice, so I believe he wasn't liable for the 'aact'. [my thinking] Look at all the wars in the bible.....Strange God would demand killing! My friend Ed was a spy in cold war/during Viet Nam, He hated the killing in the war. He'd reminisce on veterans days and weep. Good message and delivery to others who aren't aware. Very very pertinent to today. Best lines....War re-defines our moral fiber, polluting the mind with a deadly infection, our inhumanity to man. Bless you Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-09-25 19:06:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.89655
marilyn--Truth, it has often been said, "Is more... (everything) than fiction." Many sons/daughters/fathers/mothers/uncles/aunts/ nephews/spouses will bring back similar hellish memories to their families from Iraque-for some families their one consolation being; "But he did come home." This narrative speaks to me personally: my father was wounded in Korea and I've also posted poems that spoke of my soldiering; The war? VietNam The soldier? Me The victims? My family Thanks for reminding other "second hand" victims that they are not alone. These nightmares/scenarios are shared by many others (the sad part is that this number is growing). TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-09-25 17:53:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82979
Oh Marilyn, How this echo's what our men must go through. Your husband Korea, mine Nam and neither to my accoutn are guilty of murder for they did as ordered, it is not man's call what their crime but the Divine's call and these men punish themselves more than any can, even in their request for forgiveness. Excellent structure and the flow moves the reader on smoothly. Plain simple verbiage add power and clarity to this writing. I especially like the personal touch of conversation your subject has with those that are unseen. Great job, good read and timely with piece for we will have many more men now going through the night terrors of a new war once they return home. Kudos Lora
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