This Poem was Submitted By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-10-14 21:02:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Midnight Lace

Sitting and staring in thought not despair not knowing how to connect word  with image, wondering if I should care As darkness hovers  its shadows whisper Fathers lock up your daughters hide your sons the moons’ rising  night has come Like delicate winter lace  scented by musk and amber  a reclining silken lily  a fresh bloom cereus  beckoning taunts of innocence  that shroud aura’s sway  Give way to Persian blue and carnelian red  swirling in my head till— such sweet torture this that comes with your gift of little death  lingers on the edge, cleaving soul from body  as blind brilliance absconds at explosion’s zenith Return the broken words you hide that they might be whole again to glide cross my tongue and yet— The ache in your tone draws me in to ride  the kiss of your breath on chorus’ clamor All men taste the same after midnight

Copyright © October 2010 Lora Silvey

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark D. Kilburn On Date: 2010-11-14 13:02:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Wow, what an intense poem this is! I never read anything without my dictionary handy but you made me get the BIG book out so I'd say your command of the english language is excellent. What did I like? Plenty, firstly i enjoyed the lack of punctuation though normally i think poems without punct. are a sign of laziness I don't feel that here, it works and works well. Normally I find esoteric poems more or less unenjoyable, not so here, once I found the meanings of the words and re-read it it was fine although I am still unsure of what it all means. cereus-a 40' cactus that blooms in the night. What a great visual this is even though I've never seen one, have you? What a great word use this was. I like how this work shifts from simple in the first three lines to very complex and esoteric until the last line. I will go out on a limb here, little death is that part talking about an orgasm or did I miss it completely? I also liked the use of word and phrase throughout, although for me it was a bit esoteric and verbose you did it so smoothly that it was in no way bothersome, does that make any sense to you? What didn't I like, nothing really- I have learned that i don't have to clearly understand the entire work to enjoy and appreciate it. From what I have read this month this should finish very high in the standings unless it's still a popularity contest. This is extremely well written. I am curious, did you know where you were going with this one or did "it" take you there? great poem, look forward to your Indian poems. mk

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2010-11-07 07:25:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.14286
Hi Lora, Wanted to pop in before the month ran out and tell you that I enjoyed reading this. Some nice imagery and thought went into this. Good to see you active again :-) Take care, Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: kevin Dunn On Date: 2010-11-04 00:19:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
All those who are not frightened in to falling in love with this writer must be made if stone. I could see this a s song on an album by Jan Arden or someone. Do you put your stuff to music. No nits to pick some stuff is just as I like it. I was going to suggest a few things until I read it a few more times, no changes. Very entertaining. Thanks. Kevin.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-10-29 16:42:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora, Sounds a bit forlorn and sad and empty and yes you are mad! As am I. How one can wish for loving truly felt and expressed affection. As we become older and more imperfect we feel love is out of our touch. Not really, but yes. We know the differences and won't settle for nothing. [anymore] I have never experienced the perfect soul mate and am tired of looking. Your poem sings to the soul of every women. Usually not the men, they don't know what were talking of. Great job Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-10-25 11:47:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
We do? Taste the same...I suppose we do. But not the ladies...to the men...that cooing in the ear, no it's not the same...lady to lady...granting the taste its own flavor, upon the mind, more than the sum of parts. Compared to that, we men are bores...only taught better by women that really care to have more of us than that boasting, that real estate hosting, that rub-a-tub rubbing. Now see what you did to me, Lora? Naughty lady. A sweet email you sent and an excellent, if not too truthful, poem. Hope you are well. JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-10-22 19:58:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora, what a wonderfully, sensual piece. The good and the bad. The secondary references bring it alive. I hope you don’t mind, but I have saved it for future readings. Wow!! I cannot imagine any piece, even MSS, getting a higher score than this- the images – first of the most sensual flower of all “cereus”, it calls for the soul to submit to the magic- then with ulterior analogy “Lace”, “musk”, “cleaving (cleavage)”, “silken”, “swirling in my head till” (nuff said about that), “glide cross my tongue”, and the entire piece is a synecdochic or conceptual metaphor or maybe an allegory. Lady, truly a well written, stimulating piece- whether man tastes the same after midnight (or not). Thank you for sharing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-10-17 11:54:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora, I had to smile at your last line. Again you have dipped in to the twilight of poetic style, bringing out the best of what I always find in your posts. Your style is perfected, and you never sway from it - it is uniquely you and always will be. Great lines - Second verse Wondering if you should care, follows with you do, but you're confused about something, and you follow on to describe it - you want the words back, as if you imagine your muse to be faltering but I have to say - it's not. Lovely poem, blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-10-15 01:14:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh Lora, You little devil, you have written one of the most sensual and erotic poems I had read in a long time. It is written with grace with wonderful word choices and easy flow. When I took English lit in school we studied Shakespeare and it was there I learned, when he spoke of "little death," he was describing an orgasm. I like the way you put this piece together and the last line is a killer phrase. If this piece doesn't win the contest there is something terribly wrong. Superb! Best wishes, cheyenne
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