zen sutherland's E-Mail Address: zens@charter.net
zen's Personal Web Page or Favorite Web Page: http://www.main.nc.us/naturenotebook/


zen sutherland's Profile:
I'm mostly a computer graphic artist, but am many things besides. I'm a naturalist and my nature webpage is above while my art webpage is: http://buncombe.main.nc.us/~zen/ also, i'm not oriental, but my parents were beatniks, so that may help explain my name.

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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that zen sutherland has given on The Poetic Link.
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Displaying Critiques 1 to 5 out of 5 Total Critiques.

Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by zen sutherlandCritique Date
Blending of the HeartDebbie SpicerWell hello Debbie! Lofty and well-written, high and yet direct this is a good poem - a good description of love - that there's very little i would change, and the changing may just to suit me, but here goes: The aptness to subsist [while] apart I would delete while... it's just a dumb connective word that only bumps the rhythm. And if you do, only maybe reverse the order of "persevere" and "together" in the next line to preserve that regularity. And i think i would remove the last line with its large elipsis. A poem by its nature gives what it has to a reader and then lets them explore further... no need to drive home the last nail. And besides, it could leave the reader with the impression that the poet wasn't really sure what comes next (which may be what you've meant, and- if so - there's probably a better way to state that implicitly somehow). Nice to read rhyme that doesn't seem forced, too (It's so easy to get locked into making a rhyme to satisfy the beat; and in doing so, hack at language). The meanings are descriptive and clear in the wonderful lines: "saying yes at times while balancing it with no." "the passing of its innocent beauty" "Love is a trembling euphoric excitation  or shaking the sorrow of a once known belief." How well you've kept your theme of the wide richness of love that we don't always acknowledge as love, the saying no, the passing of beauty and innocence. Well done! 2004-05-13 00:37:31
White, Fallow WorldsC ArrownutHi, Condense. Economize. I think we poets so love words we think our words are more pithy than they actually are (i know i'm guilty of that). You've led me - as the reader - faithfully down to the poem's conclusion, but maybe haven't considered each word in the light of that conclusion ("recreate our white, fallow worlds") The intent of the poem is (in my mind): 1) describe snow in a way that hints at how it isolates us despite us sharing the experience. 2) describe our general inability to connect to one another. 3) imply that even when we do connect we do so to rebuild the sterile world that separates us. Hmmm... now how to do that with what you've started? I've tried to cut it down while leaving your wonderful format of finishing the previous stanza's line with the first line of the next stanza - which you've used to great effect to transition ideas. a dawn snow converts neighborhood cars into massive mounds all glistening in the glare and white angels linked us all. by afternoon we're all shoveling ten feet high on three sides of each car rebuilding the impenetrable walls between us. Seldom able to connect, islands circling the sun  we only bond for fleeting moments, even then  we recreate our white, fallow worlds.  Well, Ok, i didn't improve it; but maybe helps to see how you might economize and exactly detail what you're going to accomplish. LOL, i thought i could have been more help! keep tweaking it! zen2004-04-15 20:59:58
Talking About It with My DadThomas Edward WrightHey Thomas, I like a good story poem, and this one flashes forward and back and lets our minds fill in the gaps better than most. How strange we introduce something as individually powerful as death in a way that's "personal as a car wash." It's a nice capture of the moment of both knowing and confusion, of the loss of the idea ("Nobody can say the word Dead") by focusing on the details ("who’s going to get the silverware") Nice moment too of putting the middle child in the middle by being aware that something uncomfortable was being handed down from above and below - the younger brother - wouldn't (or has yet to) understand. To me your poem underscores the best reason for poetry in the first place - to give myth back to the people (in the way that Joseph Campbell says it's been missing) and pressing the rites of birth, death, the passing of childhood, etc. into the pages of books, like dried flowers, to be examined by the reader for a greater validation. Nice work! zen2004-04-14 00:33:35
Rock a Bide WomanLynda G SmithHi Lynda, This one has me scratchin' my head. I like the diffusion of image, the streaks of broken bits of meaning crossed with the "Muffled words between the hits Make no sense." And inside me there's the feeling of a statue of a person or the personality of a being trapped in stone or imprisoned by choice with someone trying to free him/her/it. A thing/person that wrestles with the possibility and loss of both hope and innocence. How would i improve it? I haven't the foggiest. I've only given my reaction to it, hoping you can use that. I'm new here so maybe i'd understand the icons of your imagery after a few of your poems in my belly! Thanks for sharing it - hope to read more. zen2004-04-14 00:19:19
"Hill's By The Sea"Cathy Hill CookHi Cathy, I generally don't go much for rhymed poetry, but your poem here isn't of the "lah-de-dah, lah-de-day" variety and this makes me like it! You mix and match up things and make for much more complex rhythms (like God's Complexity!). I probably wouldn't have understood the "Hill's By The Sea" reference if i didn't see the Hill in your name, but then sometimes i'm slow. I like how the grains of sand are each one of us in both their immensity and tinyness. And, if you have ever looked closely at the grains caught in the ridges of our fingerprints - which you probably have - you know they're all so different! The lines Where we are so fortunate to experience one of God’s many wonders that we have known. is kind of confusing to me and maybe i'm not getting it, but would rather hear of one of the specific wonders than the mention of their many-ness. And the God's fingerpainting the sky is a lovely image! Keep up the good work. Thanks for sharing, zen2004-04-14 00:08:01
Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by zen sutherlandCritique Date

Displaying Critiques 1 to 5 out of 5 Total Critiques.

If you would like to view all of zen sutherland's Poetry just Click Here.

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

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