This Poem was Submitted By: Denise A McCroskey On Date: 2003-09-02 22:50:50 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Love is a Trapeze Love is a trapeze that you extend to your beloved
offering them freedom, flow, movement and grace.
Allowing them to soar in the liberty of your love,
yet allowing the safety net to catch them if they fall.
How beautiful is the dance of two artists
flowing together in the labyrinth
Free yet bonded, together yet separate, one yet two. |
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Copyright © September 2003 Denise A McCroskey
This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-09-16 05:18:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Denise,
I really like what you want to deliver here Denise! Short but you were able to complete it all! Love as “trapeze” is unique at the same time superb! I like every illustration and metaphors you described here. From its “movement”, its “soar”, its “freedom” and its “safety net”…these are very much exciting and fittingly right!
Your poem hits straight to our heart and mind…unforgettable imageries and a load of awesome sensation! The lyrics are exquisitely executed! I like the concept of the “safety net” most! The striking line “Free yet blooded, together yet separate, one yet two” is top-notch! It summarized the beauty of your entire poetry. The contrasting approach of the line is very much stunning. Originally outstanding!
Kudos on your fine work here Denise! I find it skillfully written! I really enjoyed every word you delivered here…inescapable! I am like a spectator in a circus, looking at love’s daredevil stunts…and your choice of words just made the moment thrilling! For me, this is a winner!
As always,
Erzahl :)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-15 10:42:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Love is a trapeze that you extend to your beloved
offering them freedom, flow, movement and grace.
Allowing them to soar in the liberty of your love,
yet allowing the safety net to catch them if they fall.
How beautiful is the dance of two artists
flowing together in the labyrinth
Free yet bonded, together yet separate, one yet two.
Certainly can see the image you have created with the flare of your pen poet.....and to sit below the big top and watch the artist at work on the trapeze is amazing in itself....together they soar theorugh the air as with life, their movements are free, flowing and graceful as it should be....of course there is always the possibility of losing control and ones arm not catching anothers in a certain twist of fate perhaps and the safety net is there to catch them.....as with life and love.....the safety of one's arms are always there to hold you when you are down, out, sick, upset, mislead in your personal feelings as well.....certainly is good the way you have related these two subjects together for they certainly do blend well....and yes beauty is the dance of the two artists whether flying from one trapeze to the other or dancing on the ground below....the joining of two spirits in freedom together yet apart......thank you for posting this with us, for the thoughts you have set forth and the images created for the reader to see and feel as well. Be safe, God Bless, Claire
I would not change a thing this is fine the way it reads.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2003-09-13 23:21:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Denise,
Of all the ‘love’ poems I have read on the link, yours will have to stand out as a special favorite. The sentiment of love is very well expressed and concise.
You have captured two very important aspects of love – ‘space, freedom, liberty, movement’ and the ‘safety net, protection, watchfulness, concern, guidance.
Love after all is a balance, a harmony.
‘free yet bonded, together yet separate, one yet two’.
Very well written. I wouldn’t change anything in this. The flow worked well and carried the poem smoothly from start to finish, gradually unfolding the characteristics of love.
I look forward to reading more.
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-09-10 17:53:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Hi Denise,
You describe love so well...one must give freedom, flow, movement, and
grace, or it cannot be true love and then becomes a bondage. To be
able to allow freedom to the one you love is the true meaning of love
in every sense of the word. Too often one or the other will attempt
to own and restrict their mate, which of course never works.
..."how beautiful is the dance of two artists flowing together in
labyrinth...free yet bonded, together yet bonded, one yet two." this is
my favorite line. Very well done...liked this one a lot.
Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2003-09-09 17:32:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I like this poem. The imagery is quite good, the sentiment is very well presented. Mostly I love the sense of wonder that I feel as I read,
"How beautiful is the dance of two artists "
There is something about the simple, honest expression of wonder or awe at what we see in other's that always gets to me. I did wonder why they are in a labyrinth, which I always think of as underground in feeling. Is there a connection, or is it simply that we are all working our way through the maze of daily living? At any rate, thank you for sharing with us,
Rene
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-09-08 20:58:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Really a well written poem on the power of love. You give me a visual and the depth that love takes two becoming one yet separated at times. My only thought is on freedom I didn't realize in love, this was allowed, at least in this readers mind. I always get hooked and never want to release (this is not a critism on your poem only a thought I had). The only recommendation and this is only my opinion relates to punctuation of commas and periods at the end of lines. It seems to slow me up because I get a double pause.
In your last two lines you do give me the free but bonded that I do like a lot. Well done. Tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: Drenda D. Cooper On Date: 2003-09-05 08:22:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Denise, I loved this "Love Is A Trapeze" metaphor in which you hit on one of the most important and yet most often overlooked elements of "true" love -- the concept of "freedom" within love...Love is a gift given by each lover to the other with no strings attached..and those who are loved longest and best are those who keep up with the "giving" rather than "receiving" end of it.....The ability of lovers to feel "free" and still themselves within the "bonds" of the relationship is so often overlooked that is probably the reason that most feel after so short a while that "love" has left them...Your whole poem "soars in the liberty of your love" ........This poem is truly one that opens the eyes to a concept "pictured" by your words..My favorite phrase in the poem is the entire first line..
"Love is a trapeze that you extend to your beloved
offering them freedom, flow, movement and grace."
Some feel that they literally "own" the personhood of their beloved and that is the quickest way to end a relationship--especially if the other person involved does not like to feel "imprisoned" within the confines of a spider web that gets stickier and less "loving" as time goes by..Also important is your second line..
"Allowing them to soar in the liberty of your love,
yet allowing the safety net to catch them if they fall."
When one is truly loved, it is not a "jealous" love. One wants the other to "soar" to their own personal heights..but to understand that while they are "up" they are loved...and when they come in for a "landing" they are also loved..YOu are so right in likening this love to a "beautiful dance of two artists flowing together"...for both have to give this freedom (give and take) back and forth through time for the relationship to grow and mature to its fullest ..
I am truly blessed for I feel that my husband and I (married 37years) have made it this far because of this concept ...........
Beautiful poem and hold that thought.....................LOL drenda
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