This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-09-03 04:38:49 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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The Lethal Letter
Dear Freedom Lovers,
There’ll be tragedy…
Overwhelmingly
I’m an alien to this land
Fierce creature, acting human
To ride our death vehicles
We will board the four eagles
Jointly, with my cloned brothers
We’ll exhale the nightwalker
That creeps in the midst of you
Even in daylight, no clue
Deliberately yours,
Mr. Muster Monsters
--- So quite unusual Chaos Lovers
You fly not to soar but to deter
And as of us, strike by great terror
Ignite the will, ensemble the roar
For in God’s hourglass
Justice will serve us
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Copyright © September 2003 Erzahl Leo M. Espino
Additional Notes:
Written on May 10, 2002 when I contemplate the September 11, 2001 event.
Nightwalker - A person who roams in the night, especially for criminal purposes.
- The Lexicon Webster Dictionary
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-06 10:32:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.55882
Erzahl well done you have given the reader a poem to comtemplate the events. You have taken it from the viewpoint of the transgressor and given us the thoughts behind their deeds. What an outstanding second stanza this was my favorite for it describe the event of soaring above before the carnage created. There is so much I can say about this poem for it has an impact that other September 11th writings have not. Roar is what they created and justice will be served. Well done. Thanks again for sharing. Tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-09-30 13:36:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96154
Interesting, ... not your usual sort of poem, Erzahl. It is good to see the variety of
styles in your writing.
The Lethal Letter
Good dramatic title
I’m an alien to this land
Fierce creature, acting human
To ride our death vehicles
We will board the four eagles
You began with the singular pronoun "I'm and so
the shift to "we" in the last line of the stanza is a little distracting
Jointly, with my cloned brothers [I'm glad there are no females in this venture :]
We’ll exhale the nightwalker[Whew ! Dramatic indeed]
That creeps in the midst of you
Even in daylight, no clue [nice orphan rhyme]
Deliberately yours,
I love that original salutation!!
Mr. Muster Monsters
I don't know if this is a real character or an imagined name -
--- So quite unusual Chaos Lovers
You fly not to soar but to deter
And as of us, strike by great terror
Ignite the will,
*ensemble - what a quaint usage! I wonder though, if you don;t mean mean "assemble?"
For in God’s hourglass
Justice will serve us
Fine ending to bring this all back home. This is a unique tribute indeed~!
Best, Rachel
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2003-09-18 09:53:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Hi,
This would have to be one of the more imaginative versions of the poems written, post 9/11 with all due respect for the victims and their families who suffered on that shameful day.
The poem is broken into two interesting folds- one- a letter written by one of the terrorists ( mr. Muster Monsters) and a reply to this Lethal letter, by the poet.
The choice for ‘Lethal Letter’ as the title, is clearly evident.
The author of this ‘Lethal Letter’ – Mr. Muster Monsters- brings forth a message of deliberate (‘deliberately yours’) gloom and doom. The poet’s chosen name for this character is apt and imaginative – a gatherer or herder of monsters. Yes, it clearly reflects the likes of Osama Bin Laden who stand like dark shepherds, gathering their flocks of evil - doers. The use of ‘cloned brothers’ was also interesting. There is no difference in the mindset and line of thought taken by a terrorist. The use of ‘fierce creature acting human’ truly depicts the characteristics of such individuals.
The poet’s reply is brief and swift. He will not make a tall declaration of challenge and furor but leave it to the hourglass of God which slowly but surely delivers these ‘creatures’ to the greatest of judgements.
I see two very strong plains in this poem. We get a good description of the terrorists and the way they think and of course the poet’s main theme – faith.
I would like to make a suggestion though. I was wondering if we could not refer to the planes as eagles. I understand the reason behind this choice (swiftness, pin point accuracy) but numerous poems on 9/11 have referred to them as eagles and I’m sure we could find an alternative. If I’m not mistaken, eagles are also America’s national bird emblem. This is just a suggestion though.
Nevertheless, a very fine poem that grips the reader with its imaginative format.
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Brandon Gene Petit On Date: 2003-09-10 14:36:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
I am pleased with your approach here ; a poem about the horrible Sep. 11 tragedy that,
instead of in grim and honest cynicism, is told in a creative and symbolic format. In
my opinion, your unusual and obscure choice of words tells a more compelling tale than
the usual "trademark" laments of the event. The nightwalker reference is haunting and
empowers the evil to an exaggerated state of existence, death vehicles and chaos lovers
equally adequate adjectives. The last two lines, referring to "God's hourglass" are
especially well-worded. Powerful imagery.
- Brandon
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-09-10 09:45:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh Erzahl, yes you convey very distinct charactistics in this poem, it's eerie in its projection, your theme is wonderfully strong, intentions of human falacy taken to a point of no return, that set us all on a differnt path of awareness. No fear, just wondering to what extreme we will face, from this faceless threat the seems to hang over our heads, like a pall of death ready to strike at any time. Makes me wonder how giving up your life circimvents the goodness and compassion God instilled in everyone as babes, regardless of religious belief, honestly their concept is beyond me, I understand the cultural pull, the belief that certain groups live a religious belief, but to sacrifice the human compassion born in all of us, I can't believe God intends for people to be sacrificed. The concept is beyond my understanding, where as, holding out the hand in friendship, trying to be tolorant, wow, beyond my Western concept.
Your poems raised all this feeling in me, it is dark and foreboding, and very eerie, but very effective in its layout, use of descriptive, and intention, at least that my perception drawn from this poem. Heavy, heavy, heavy../....
My best as always, my preference is for lighter poetry, regardless of style, but I have to admit this poem is highly effective, just hope I don't have nightmares tonight, ha ha. Hey focusing my eyes to reader is really difficult, so I doing this one eyed, if there are typos, and there will be, I apologize...Best Jo Morgan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-08 17:30:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Fear comes in all forms and the darkness of night seems to bring it out the most yet in today's world with all that is going on both good and bad it seems that the nightstalker does indeed walk in daylight hours and one does not see nor hear them either.......that alone should bring hear to one's soul. The peace we all seek is not for our taking at this time and in God's time perhaps it shall be again given to us.......God does have a plan and if we do not heed His warnings we will all lose in the end.......Dear Freedom Lovers.....a direct approach to the American people who so love to believe we are free.......well, some of us know different my friend.....clones....look alikes of many kinds......that alone brings fear to one's heart for who can you then trust......as with Saddam....there are too many of his face running around this world of ours and who is to say is the real one.......I do not fly and have no intentions of flying other then the time I was life flighted and should that have to be again then so be it.......but to find myself on a large jet liner travelling across this land of ours I believe not.....My children fly to Aruba each year at Christmas time and I send angels, armies of angels to watch and guide them safely through the sky.......thanks for posting this very interesting piece with the monsters that do walk our city streets day and night....images of horrible creatures let alone plain looking men jump out at you and the planes, unfortunately those planes that crashed into the towers and onto the ground are ever so real within your lines. Be safe my friend and God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-09-08 16:38:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Erzahl,
I am glad you wrote a post script to this poem as when I read it
the second time it made so much sense and I am sure will give all who
read it a feeling of fear and awakening. I am sure the "nightwalkers" are
still among us and we will never forget their "creeping in the midst of
us"...and when I think that the "aliens" are even among us in the day
time without us being aware of their presence it is overwhelming....
..."fear creature acting human to ride our death vehicles."...I was just
in Texas and of course flew there and back. I have never been afraid to
fly before but now I say a prayer every time I board a plane and the
worst part is that it nevers gets better. I really like the way you
have written this piece...you have mirrored my feelings exactly..."strike
by great terror ignite the will" the last words..."For in God's hourglass
justice will serve us." gives this reader a felling of hope that all is
not lost and we will prevail. Good poem and no doubt another winner!
Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-09-08 05:32:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Erzahl. I am excited to critique this poem as this is my first time to give input to your poetry. I am also afraid because I believe that you have a good talent in poetry and I might make a wrong perception, meaning or whatever in this! Anyway, i'll give it a try. At first glance of the title, i was surrounded with fear, tension and suspense as it denotes tragedy. This gives me the curiosity to go on explore the contents. By the way, the sound of "L" in the title seems to compensate the tragic sensation it brings and it is a good point. After reading the poem, I was somehow relieved with the fear I sense as this is a contemplation of the unforgettable tragic event that stirred the whole world, the fall of the world trade center. This is a very significant piece because it serves to bring back in us the awareness of the desctruction and that it invites one to promote peace and unity in the world. The use of a letter form gives a special reinforcement and of course it signifies originality. The metaphor here "To ride our death vehicles" is very apt. And once again, it enhances the imagery of the piece that somehow decreases the idea of tragedy. Your poem ends perfectly
"For in God’s hourglass
Justice will serve us". I like the use of hourglass. It denotes that sooner or later we can achieve justice though we could not tell when God's time (hourglass) will come. This is really a great poem, Erzahl. Your previous poems that I read are all about happiness, joy, and recreation. But this poem makes me believe that you also have a great talent in making tragic theme in poetry.
Best Regards,
Jordan
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